1. tell your wife that you love her. then tell her that you married HER. tell her that she is hurting YOU right now. tell her that as a good husband, YOU are doing everything you can not to kick them TFO for HER. tell her that his has already or at least has the potential to hurt the marriage. let her know that she is hurting you and taking advantage of the marrital bond. let her know that you are a man but are holding back because you love HER.
2. tell her that if she doesn't carry her weight in the marriage that you will do it for her and that problems will surely follow.
3. regardless of what she says, kick them the fuck out. you gave her prior warning.unless you blatently lied, they sounds like POS that you need to stay away from.
2. tell her that if she doesn't carry her weight in the marriage that you will do it for her and that problems will surely follow.
3. regardless of what she says, kick them the fuck out. you gave her prior warning.unless you blatently lied, they sounds like POS that you need to stay away from.
buck
Lifer
- Dec 11, 2000
- 12,273
- 4
- 81
Internet tough guy? Seriously some of you are making this more complicated than it needs to be.
Go to your wife, tell her it is becoming an issue that they are staying too long. Tell her that they have to leave tomorrow morning. End of story. Please tell me how that is being an internet tough guy....
... internet tough guy, pffftt.... Some of you need to grow a pair.
zCypher
Diamond Member
- Aug 18, 2002
- 6,115
- 171
- 116
Ouch, sounds shitty. Obviously, something needs to be done. A solution needs to be reached that is acceptable for everyone, and more so for you and your wife. They are guests, they aren't at home in their own place that they're paying for. When I'm a guest somewhere, I don't consume everything and not pay anything and be a hypocrite saying things like "I hope I'm not out-living my stay" or whatever knowing full well that I am but just using that as a guilt-tripping tactic. That's fucking bullshit.
Them being in the family or whatever doesn't make it OKAY either not at ALL. Way back, I got complained on when I was over more than a few times per week at a family member's place, I wasn't even living there. People want their own space, and rightly so as that's an important aspect of life, especially a couple's life.
I can't stress enough how important it is for your current situation and for your new marriage's health, for you to be decisive and maintain, no not your stance of dominance, but your firm opinion. There is always a way to get your point across without insulting others, but still doing it in an unmistakable way. It's just a question of determination and practice. If you sit on the sidelines, you will royally screw yourself.
I think there's a lot of good advice in your thread so far, so you should consider it carefully. It's pretty damn good advice for "free" advice. Communication is absolutely critical; and although it sounds like you are communicating with your wife, it sounds like she might not be on the same page as you at all - so maybe you haven't communicated effectively; or maybe she really doesn't see things the same as you do, which you hinted at. For this to end with a positive outcome, you absolutely need to get her to understand your perspective - only you can really know how likely/unlikely or difficult/easy this may be.
Sure, you can "just tell them to GTFO", but then how will your life and relationship be afterwards? If your wife better understands how you feel and why you feel it, maybe she'll help you resolve the situation together and there won't be any hard feelings at least between you and her. If she doesn't see a problem, you do, and you can't get her to see it, then you're not in a good position.
Them being in the family or whatever doesn't make it OKAY either not at ALL. Way back, I got complained on when I was over more than a few times per week at a family member's place, I wasn't even living there. People want their own space, and rightly so as that's an important aspect of life, especially a couple's life.
I can't stress enough how important it is for your current situation and for your new marriage's health, for you to be decisive and maintain, no not your stance of dominance, but your firm opinion. There is always a way to get your point across without insulting others, but still doing it in an unmistakable way. It's just a question of determination and practice. If you sit on the sidelines, you will royally screw yourself.
I think there's a lot of good advice in your thread so far, so you should consider it carefully. It's pretty damn good advice for "free" advice. Communication is absolutely critical; and although it sounds like you are communicating with your wife, it sounds like she might not be on the same page as you at all - so maybe you haven't communicated effectively; or maybe she really doesn't see things the same as you do, which you hinted at. For this to end with a positive outcome, you absolutely need to get her to understand your perspective - only you can really know how likely/unlikely or difficult/easy this may be.
Sure, you can "just tell them to GTFO", but then how will your life and relationship be afterwards? If your wife better understands how you feel and why you feel it, maybe she'll help you resolve the situation together and there won't be any hard feelings at least between you and her. If she doesn't see a problem, you do, and you can't get her to see it, then you're not in a good position.
Freshgeardude
Diamond Member
- Jul 31, 2006
- 4,506
- 0
- 76
Kadarin
Lifer
- Nov 23, 2001
- 44,296
- 16
- 81
Even if your wife is unable/unwilling to say anything to them, make damned sure she's on your side and in complete agreement with you on this. Once you have this commitment from her, let the unwelcome guests know they have x amount of time before they have to leave, and make sure your wife backs you up.
If your wife is unwilling to get on board with this situation, it will have consequences in your marriage.
Don't play stupid games with the a/c, and don't ask them for rent. They are not tenants, they are guests who are no longer welcome.
If your wife is unwilling to get on board with this situation, it will have consequences in your marriage.
Don't play stupid games with the a/c, and don't ask them for rent. They are not tenants, they are guests who are no longer welcome.
buck
Lifer
- Dec 11, 2000
- 12,273
- 4
- 81
Originally posted by: alkemyst
that's rich.
anyway...you are quick to buy into anything without knowing both sides. Didn't you recently mention you had to clear a gun purchase with your chick?
Come on be a MAN!
First off, aren't you the guy who cries when his cat gets sick? Secondly, my post said "talked her into it", big difference between that and asking her permission. She is from Eugene OR and her parents are hippies.
Lastly, what sides are we talking about here? They overstayed their welcome and its starting to fuck with his marriage, he needs to man the fuck up and show them the door.
Some day you might meet a woman and get rid of all your cats.
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