2 line poem contest

[rodneyxiii]

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE
RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST
ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

These made me laugh. Feel free to contribute your own.


My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.


I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.


Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.


Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss;
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.


I thought that I could love no other;
That is until I met your brother.


Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, & so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the
sugar bowl's empty
... and so is your head.


I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.


I love your smile, your face, and your eyes;
Damn, I?m good at telling lies!


My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?


My feelings for you no words can tell;
Except for maybe "Go to hell."


What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

 

[krunchykrome]

you make me wet
now im in debt

 

[Kwaipie]

Seeing you makes my heart spin in circles
like poop in the toilet.

 

[Safeway]

Tenderly holding hands while watching Lilo and Stitch,
made me realize you're not always a stupid heartless bitch.

#7000

 

[PepePeru]

Every time i see your smiling face.
I reach into my purse and grab the mace.

 

[chuckywang]

Your touch felt warm, gentle, and kind.
Even if you were screaming "NO!" the entire time.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: chuckywang
Your touch felt warm, gentle, and kind.
Even if you were screaming "NO!" the entire time.

lmao! disturbing but funny

 

[rise]

you suck 🙂
you suck :|

 

[Quasmo]

I so much love your sexy body
I'm gonna eat your children

-Mike Tyson

 

[Safeway]

Born and raised in the south,
looking at your face makes me puke in my mouth.

 

[shocksyde]

No, honey, You don't look fat.
Yes, honey, You ARE fat.

 

[kstu]

Your taste is better than a Taco Bell chalupa,
I'd like to kick you in your FUPA.

 

[GenHoth]

Originally posted by: Safeway
Tenderly holding hands while watching Lilo and Stitch,
made me realize you're not always a stupid heartless bitch.

#7000

FTW!

 

[effowe]

The love we shared was beautiful and sincere,
Now if you don't mind, get the fvck out of here.

 

[clamum]

When I look into your eyes I could just die
In a fire

 

[49erinnc]

The greatest day of my life is when we first wed
Now I only enjoy seeing the back of your head.

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: 49erinnc
The greatest day of my life is when we first wed
Now I only enjoy seeing the back of your head.

fantastic!

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

Your intoxicating scent floats on the breeze,
One day I'm gonna jump out from behind these trees.

 

[Mr Pickles]

My wife bears a child, a boy oh i beg!
BC if its a girl, i'll slide a coat hanger up her leg.

 

[rise]

i knew you were the one when i first looked into your eyes,
now i can't get past your cauliflower thighs.

 

[GuitarDaddy]

When I first met you, you stole my :heart:
Now when I think of you, it just makes me fart

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

The wedding day was the happiest of our lives,
Now I pray you get infected by Tsetse flies.

 

[hypn0tik]

When I saw you, I knew right away it was less than three.
Shut up and tend to my eight equals equals equals D.

 

[lozina]

As I climb into your bed I feel your warm loving affection...
Holy Jesus! Is that a yeast infection?!

 

[kstu]

Your smile is brighter than the happiest clown,
Now, I wish you would take pills and drown.