By doing so though, you are preventing yourself from finding someone else to fill the void. If you risk nothing, you gain nothing.
By doing so though, you are preventing yourself from finding someone else to fill the void. If you risk nothing, you gain nothing.
Actually she can't ... at least not for an initial passport for a minor. Both guardians had to sign, and actually, when she took my daughter down there before, I signed a notarized letter giving her permission to take her down there. I don't recall if that was required, or just suggested by somebody.
Don't know about a replacement passport, but I will find out. At least it puts a kink in things.
Originally posted by: Armitage
Originally posted by: yayo
your first post, and this is what you post... :Q
Sorry to hear about your troubles.
I'm a regular here, but don't want to associate my sob story with my regular personna.
I hope the mods can forgive me that. This is the only thread I will post in as Armitage.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
I hope everything works out.
Damn, man.
So sorry to hear that. Hearing words like that is like a knife through the heart. Shock, grief, anger all rolled into one hellacious emotion.
But, as has been said here, think pragmatically. Think about your children. DO consult a divorce attorney ASAP and tell him your thoughts of her potentially not returning with the children and what your options are. Can you bring them back with you after your two weeks are over?
How did you all meet?
Keep a level head and don't make rash decisions. Hang in there!
So sorry to hear that. Hearing words like that is like a knife through the heart. Shock, grief, anger all rolled into one hellacious emotion.
But, as has been said here, think pragmatically. Think about your children. DO consult a divorce attorney ASAP and tell him your thoughts of her potentially not returning with the children and what your options are. Can you bring them back with you after your two weeks are over?
How did you all meet?
Keep a level head and don't make rash decisions. Hang in there!
these types of posts on ATOT of given me further reason never to marry.
hope everything works out
hope everything works out
I could maybe change their tickets to my return date ... but the fact is at that point, I will be in a foriegn country, surrounded by her family & friends, and not speaking the language particularly well. I don't give myself good odds of getting them on the plane in that situation if my suspicions are correct.
Thanks
SagaLore
Elite Member
- Dec 18, 2001
- 24,036
- 21
- 81
Love is NOT a feeling!
You're talking about affection, lust, excitement, infatuation, enjoyment, etc. People lump all these emotions and tag it with one word, but that isn't how it works. Yes women are different, but if they followed all of their emotional instincts 100% they would never last an entire month with anything - job, boyfriend, spouse, pet, house, friends, clothes, etc.
When you love someone, you can FEEL admiration, closeness, intimacy, respect, wanting, etc. But when you don't feel those feelings, that doesn't mean the love doesn't exist. When she says she doesn't think she ever loved him from the start, she might actually be right - since love is an action, in her heart/mind/spirit she never made that obligation to him.
What will be really sad is if he finds out she is actually interested in some other guy - this is why labeling Love as an emotion is dangerous - if I'm walking through the mall and I see some blonde chick that totally gets me excited, I'm not about to think "oh no I'm excited! that means I never loved my wife!"
I'm torn between who should get the kids if they split. On one hand, she made the first move and admitted that her marital contract to him is void because her vows meant nothing, don't think it would be a good idea for her to have a kids because she is a horrible role model. On the other hand, this guy admits that he is prone to depression, so he might not be a good parental figure when his wife is gone.
...
This is why marriage needs to be a permanent contract NO MATTER WHAT, once there are kids involved (unless there is abuse involved). The only persons I can feel bad for in this circumstance are the kids.
im sorry to hear that you are having such bad troubles, i would seriously consider talking to a lawyer, he might have some really good advice for you.
You're getting the wrong message and preventing yourself from achieving the highest highs. If you risk nothing, you gain nothing.
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Love is NOT a feeling!
You're talking about affection, lust, excitement, infatuation, enjoyment, etc. People lump all these emotions and tag it with one word, but that isn't how it works. Yes women are different, but if they followed all of their emotional instincts 100% they would never last an entire month with anything - job, boyfriend, spouse, pet, house, friends, clothes, etc.
When you love someone, you can FEEL admiration, closeness, intimacy, respect, wanting, etc. But when you don't feel those feelings, that doesn't mean the love doesn't exist. When she says she doesn't think she ever loved him from the start, she might actually be right - since love is an action, in her heart/mind/spirit she never made that obligation to him.
What will be really sad is if he finds out she is actually interested in some other guy - this is why labeling Love as an emotion is dangerous - if I'm walking through the mall and I see some blonde chick that totally gets me excited, I'm not about to think "oh no I'm excited! that means I never loved my wife!"
I'm torn between who should get the kids if they split. On one hand, she made the first move and admitted that her marital contract to him is void because her vows meant nothing, don't think it would be a good idea for her to have a kids because she is a horrible role model. On the other hand, this guy admits that he is prone to depression, so he might not be a good parental figure when his wife is gone.
...
This is why marriage needs to be a permanent contract NO MATTER WHAT, once there are kids involved (unless there is abuse involved). The only persons I can feel bad for in this circumstance are the kids.
All of what you said means absolutely nothing unless you can show empirical evidence of any assertions that you've made (all of which are pretty ludicrous). The fact that you are identifying an *emotional state* of love as an action is horribly absurd.
Some reading for you
Some more
If you want to contradict definitions and semantics of a given word, by all means, but please don't assert it as fact.
I think this is at least one root of her problem ... she misses the infatuation ... the giddyness, etc. that you ussually feel early in a relationship. She's bored by a "mature" relationship where her heart doesn't flutter & her stomach doesn't do flip-flops every time she hear's my voice.
I understand your concern ... but the kids always come first. They always have, even in the middle of this mess, although I can't really say that for her. And I have family who could come to help us through any rough spots. I will get help before I let anything interfere with the kids.
...
This is why marriage needs to be a permanent contract NO MATTER WHAT, once there are kids involved (unless there is abuse involved). The only persons I can feel bad for in this circumstance are the kids.
Armitage,
I am very sorry to hear the pain you are going through right now. There is nothing I can say or do to help you through this. Love your children all that much more and eventually time will take care of your healing.
I am very sorry to hear the pain you are going through right now. There is nothing I can say or do to help you through this. Love your children all that much more and eventually time will take care of your healing.
Male PhD in ??? don't recall, from a state university. Several certifications, probably in his late 40s/early 50s
Was picked by a benefit plan I have through my work. It's kind of a confidential mental health service ... nobody at my company has to know that I'm using the benefit, no names go back. to them.
Don't let that assuade you, though! Seek legal counsel and be prepared! Heck, I'd go so far as to find out where the American Embassy is and what the names of the people are there and even write or ask them for opinions.
You're very welcome!
That's really none of your business, and I don't disagree with your opinion of what it takes to maintain a relationship, I disagree with you trying to redefine simple terms. Please refer to the links I gave you earlier.
I gotta say, I don't have a whole lot of confidence in him at this point ... I think he missed the real issue to begin with, and now agreeing to see my wife alone seems somewhat unethical to me. He was very fond of drawing "clever and insightful" conclusion or parallels from our childhoods to explain our current problems. I didn't find them particularly useful.
MichaelD
Lifer
- Jan 16, 2001
- 31,528
- 3
- 76
*cloud of smoke and flash of light* POOF!
I'm here...I felt a disturbance in the force...I sensed....a man...in PAIN.
Armitage (or whoever you are), I'm sorry, man. This seems to be the week for every guy on this board to take it up the @ss. Figuratively, of course.
It's really late where I'm at and I'm beat, so I'll spare you my usual tirade (sorry to disappoint YOU guys, though
)Consult a lawyer NOW. I don't care if you have to call in sick at work tomorrow. You need to find out what you can LEGALLY do. I'm all for hiding the passports, hell, I'd even say "honey, come here for a minute" and just as she walks in, toss them in the fireplace, ensuring you hold them up first so she can see.
You need to somehow file an injunction to prevent her from leaving the country w/the kids. Let the bitch go if she wants...if she's going to divorce you, you're going to get fcked anyway. (Sorry to be so blunt...it's the only thing I know how to do...) But the kids need to stay HERE.
Tell the lawyer she is a "flight risk" explain the situation. I'm sure you're not the first guy this has happened to; but you need to do it legally.
If you want to PM me or even email me if you don't want the mods reading our correspondence, please feel free to do so. Having my son kidnapped by his mom is just about the ONLY thing that fcking cvnt hasn't done to me...everything else, I can commisserate w/you on.
Where's the PliableMoose anyhow...I wonder if his experience would help?
I don't think it can be said enough, though. Seek legal counsel!
Originally posted by: MichaelD
*cloud of smoke and flash of light* POOF! I'm here...I felt a disturbance in the force...I sensed....a man...in PAIN. Armitage (or whoever you are), I'm sorry, man. This seems to be the week for every guy on this board to take it up the @ss. Figuratively, of course. It's really late where I'm at and I'm beat, so I'll spare you my usual tirade (sorry to disappoint YOU guys, though
damn, i never heard michaelD's story.... what keyword should i search under in the archives??
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