Your oddest tech support calls

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jkats

Member
Dec 30, 2003
52
0
0
Had a guy call our center to RMA a product. We tried to explain that it wasn't covered under our warranty, but he insisted he knew we were lying because he had a lie detector device connected to his phone.
 
Nov 7, 2000
16,403
3
81
Originally posted by: jkats
Had a guy call our center to RMA a product. We tried to explain that it wasn't covered under our warranty, but he insisted he knew we were lying because he had a lie detector device connected to his phone.
cant argue with that... LOL
 

Tweak155

Lifer
Sep 23, 2003
11,449
264
126
reminds me of that one tech support phone call for some word processor...

The guy reported that he was using the word processor and it just went blank...

Long story short, after a huge long process of trying to determine the problem, the customer stated his power went out

The tech supports response to this was:
"You need to pack up your computer exactly the way it was and take it back to where you got it"

-customer: "Well what do i tell them? is it really that bad?"

"Tell them you are too fvcking stupid to own a computer"

The tech person was fired, haha
 

djheater

Lifer
Mar 19, 2001
14,637
2
0
Originally posted by: Tweak155
reminds me of that one tech support phone call for some word processor...

The guy reported that he was using the word processor and it just went blank...

Long story short, after a huge long process of trying to determine the problem, the customer stated his power went out

The tech supports response to this was:
"You need to pack up your computer exactly the way it was and take it back to where you got it"

-customer: "Well what do i tell them? is it really that bad?"

"Tell them you are too fvcking stupid to own a computer"

The tech person was fired, haha

I think that's an urban myth.
 

5ayle

Senior member
Sep 28, 2003
993
0
0
Originally posted by: Tweak155
reminds me of that one tech support phone call for some word processor...

The guy reported that he was using the word processor and it just went blank...

Long story short, after a huge long process of trying to determine the problem, the customer stated his power went out

The tech supports response to this was:
"You need to pack up your computer exactly the way it was and take it back to where you got it"

-customer: "Well what do i tell them? is it really that bad?"

"Tell them you are too fvcking stupid to own a computer"

The tech person was fired, haha

Holysh!t, i don't know how many times i've wanted to something similar to that :beer: for the tech
 

jkats

Member
Dec 30, 2003
52
0
0
Had another guy contact us because he wanted to buy a processor. However, he didn't want our "micro" processor, he wanted a full-fledged regular sized processor!
 

Tweak155

Lifer
Sep 23, 2003
11,449
264
126
Originally posted by: djheater
Originally posted by: Tweak155
reminds me of that one tech support phone call for some word processor...

The guy reported that he was using the word processor and it just went blank...

Long story short, after a huge long process of trying to determine the problem, the customer stated his power went out

The tech supports response to this was:
"You need to pack up your computer exactly the way it was and take it back to where you got it"

-customer: "Well what do i tell them? is it really that bad?"

"Tell them you are too fvcking stupid to own a computer"

The tech person was fired, haha

I think that's an urban myth.

Its not, it just happened to be one of those recorded phone calls, the transcript is online somewhere, but i read it soooo long ago i dont remember which word processor it was...this was back when there was more than just MS Word

You could read the conversation word for word, it was a few pages
 

oneshot47

Senior member
Aug 6, 2004
435
0
0
Originally posted by: Tweak155
Originally posted by: djheater
Originally posted by: Tweak155
reminds me of that one tech support phone call for some word processor...

The guy reported that he was using the word processor and it just went blank...

Long story short, after a huge long process of trying to determine the problem, the customer stated his power went out

The tech supports response to this was:
"You need to pack up your computer exactly the way it was and take it back to where you got it"

-customer: "Well what do i tell them? is it really that bad?"

"Tell them you are too fvcking stupid to own a computer"

The tech person was fired, haha

I think that's an urban myth.

Its not, it just happened to be one of those recorded phone calls, the transcript is online somewhere, but i read it soooo long ago i dont remember which word processor it was...this was back when there was more than just MS Word

You could read the conversation word for word, it was a few pages

That story has been told in a million different forms. It possibly could have happened once but i doubt it. More likely though that someone did that after reading it....
 

Wuffsunie

Platinum Member
May 4, 2002
2,808
0
0
I do tech support as a job, too. And I had this one little old lady that just took the cake last week. She called us because her computer had stopped making a click sound whenever she clicked her mouse. Yes, she was sure it was the computer that made the sound and not just the click of the mouse, and it was coming from the case, not ths speakers. She said it had been doing so for several months and just stopped a few days prior. Her friend's, who has had her computer for over a year, still does this. She's also worried because while the machine still makes the clicks, it's not synchronized with her mouse most of the time, and sometimes happens when she's not doing anything or is away from her computer. She thinks that's a sign someone is trying to hack her. As near as I could figure out, the clicking she was talking about was the hard drive swing arm, which is the only part of the computer that would make such a noise, though not on such a regular basis. She was quite insistant about restoring it, as it "reassured her that the machine was working correctly." She later mentioned during the call that she had had a few nips from her husband's liquor cabinet, she was so distressed by her missing click. And this was the second time she had called about this issue. Beat that :p

I have a friend who swears to me he actually got one of the legendary "My cup holder is broken" calls.
 

KLin

Lifer
Feb 29, 2000
30,426
744
126
Originally posted by: Tweak155
Originally posted by: djheater
Originally posted by: Tweak155
reminds me of that one tech support phone call for some word processor...

The guy reported that he was using the word processor and it just went blank...

Long story short, after a huge long process of trying to determine the problem, the customer stated his power went out

The tech supports response to this was:
"You need to pack up your computer exactly the way it was and take it back to where you got it"

-customer: "Well what do i tell them? is it really that bad?"

"Tell them you are too fvcking stupid to own a computer"

The tech person was fired, haha

I think that's an urban myth.

Its not, it just happened to be one of those recorded phone calls, the transcript is online somewhere, but i read it soooo long ago i dont remember which word processor it was...this was back when there was more than just MS Word

You could read the conversation word for word, it was a few pages



You've been snoped.
 

pookguy88

Golden Member
Jul 19, 2001
1,426
0
76
just got a call from some woman
(i work at an ISP)

Her: Is something wrong with your Outlook?
Me: Not that I know of (of course i know outlook is a client side program)
Her: its loading slow, are there issues there with your Outlook
Me: Nope, everything is ok (knowing full well we have nothing to do with how fast her outlook loads)
Her: oh ok..
Me: maybe u have too many programs running or a virus
Her: ok, thanx bye

then another time i got some woman who didn't know how to scroll down.
 

Transition

Banned
Sep 8, 2001
2,615
0
0
Multiple instances of people sticking a USB cable into the ethernet jack on home computers. Oddly enough, the width of the USB cable fits nice and snug there.
 

zCypher

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2002
6,115
171
116
I worked at a computer store for a year. A guy came in with his PC saying that his floppy drive didnt' work. We were very busy, so we took his computer, gave him a ticket and told him to call back the next day or wait for us to get a hold of him when his computer was ready. Anyway, my manager looked at the computer an hour later and discovered a MINI DISC jammed inside the floppy drive! WTF? The guy acted surprised when we showed him. Pretty funny stuff... this guy was a regular too.
 

zCypher

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2002
6,115
171
116
and at my current job my coworker jammed the keyboard connector into where the mouse is supposed to go (or vice versa, i forget). either way, you can imagine that the pins on the keyboard (or mouse) connector were pretty fvcked up after that! I had to force myself to NOT laugh out loud as I saw that. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to be rude about it so I just kept my mouth shut (otherwise i would have burst out laughing).

Some people and computers just don't mix.
 

DAGTA

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
8,172
1
0
Fall 1996, I was going to a small university where all campus computers had a network login and each student was given a login. The network would fail at least once or twice every day.

One night, I'm sitting in the lab near the help desk when the power goes out from a lightning strike. I walk over and start talking to someone I know working the help desk. The phones ring.

Caller: "Is the network down?"
Help Desk: "Well, the entire campus is without power, so technically the network is down."

Phone rings again
Caller: "My computer shut down and now won't turn on."
Help Desk: "Entire campus has lost power."
Caller: "So why won't my computer work?"

 

yobarman

Lifer
Jan 11, 2001
11,642
1
0
Originally posted by: candicec
All these stories of tech support is turning me on..
You guys are so smart and knowledgeable when it comes to computers....
give me more!!!

candicec

this is why i love computer nerds....

haha, simma down now!
 

virtuamike

Diamond Member
Oct 13, 2000
7,845
13
81
Lady: My internet is broken!
Me: What do you mean it's broken?
Lady: I go to the website and I can't type in my account numbers?
Me: So you can go to a website, but you can't type in numbers?
Lady: Yes.
Me: Ok, see that row of numbers at the top of the keyboard? Try using those.
Lady: OK, that worked.
Me: Ok, now press the num lock key.
 

imported_Phil

Diamond Member
Feb 10, 2001
9,837
0
0
Originally posted by: zCypher
and at my current job my coworker jammed the keyboard connector into where the mouse is supposed to go (or vice versa, i forget). either way, you can imagine that the pins on the keyboard (or mouse) connector were pretty fvcked up after that! I had to force myself to NOT laugh out loud as I saw that. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to be rude about it so I just kept my mouth shut (otherwise i would have burst out laughing).

Some people and computers just don't mix.

PS/2 mouse & keyboard connectors are identical.... :confused:
 

lavagirl669

Diamond Member
Apr 21, 2004
3,325
1
0
Computer repair
called guy with the bad news....fried CPU and bad Mobo

This guy talks big about knowing a lot about PC's, etc....
a "Mr Know It All and you can't tell me anything" if you will

[Me}- So I tested your RAM sticks by swapping them around one by one in the DIMM slots
{Him}-oh yeah...ok and so?
{Me}-So it turns out that in addtion to your CPU being fried from a cooling failure and overheating,
that your Mobo appears to be bad too, especially since DIMM #3 fried my test stick too.
{Him}-So does that mean my RAM is bad too?
{Me}-Well actually, I don't think so, but I know your Mobo is going bad because DIMM 3 shorted my memory test stick....
{Him}-Memory stick?? But what about my RAM?
{Me}-umm....Memory and RAM are the same thing
{Him}--uh...oh....yeah I knew that....my bad my bad.
{Me}-*sigh* ......So you will need to get a new CPU and a new Motherboard....
{Him}-but what about the DIMM slots, can't I just change those instead of the whole motherboard?
{Me}-*long sigh*
 

Trente

Golden Member
Apr 19, 2003
1,750
0
0
ME: double-click on 'My Computer'.
SHE: your computer?

ME: close all windows
SHE: *leaves her desk, closing all the windows in her house*
 

lavagirl669

Diamond Member
Apr 21, 2004
3,325
1
0
Originally posted by: Trente
ME: double-click on 'My Computer'.
SHE: your computer?

ME: close all windows
SHE: *leaves her desk, closing all the windows in her house*

hahahahaha....
 

natto fire

Diamond Member
Jan 4, 2000
7,117
10
76
OMG, some of these are hilarious. How do some of you keep yourselves from laughing. I guess it's a good thing people can't see you rolling your eyes, over the phone. :laugh:
 

Avalon

Diamond Member
Jul 16, 2001
7,571
178
106
This isn't exactly a tech support call that I've had, per say...A year ago, my friend was working for the campus computer help desk, so I prank called his office and tried to convince the techie on the phone that I had believed I had just been hacked and that someone was stealing my megahertz, claiming everytime I rebooted the computer was slower. When I talked to my friend later, he said his co-worker was convinced I was genuine and was telling everyone in the office about this big idiot that had called in a little while ago. My friend and I were dying laughing.
 

mobobuff

Lifer
Apr 5, 2004
11,099
1
81
Originally posted by: zCypher
and at my current job my coworker jammed the keyboard connector into where the mouse is supposed to go (or vice versa, i forget). either way, you can imagine that the pins on the keyboard (or mouse) connector were pretty fvcked up after that! I had to force myself to NOT laugh out loud as I saw that. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to be rude about it so I just kept my mouth shut (otherwise i would have burst out laughing).

Some people and computers just don't mix.

Uhhh... both the keyboard and mouse connectors are mini-Din 5, they're exactly the same.