Your oddest tech support calls

[JasonK]

Hrmm been through a couple, ones I remember:

Ask the user to type in some ping commands in cmd prompt, I tell her type in ping (space) yahoo.com. User tries like 5 times unsuccessful, I ask the user to read exactly what she is typing in, user says "ping space yahoo.com"

User has problems with NIC not being detected in Device manager, so I tell the user to try the NIC in another Pci slot, user pulls it out and sticks it in another slot, user complains computer shut off. DOH, ask the user to power on, receives cmos failure. UH OH!, reboot luckily went ok.

Another user complains about router configuration text boxes filling in themselves with sentences. I ask the user if he has a wireless keyboard, or has scanned for trojans, he has a wireless keyboard.

One old guy I spoke to called to complain about his computer typing in all his conversations when hes near the computer, and someone is hacking his computer, turns out he has his voice recognition software on.

 

[packmule]

Me: okay we can fix this what I need for you to do is to right click on your desktop.

He: I don't have a desktop I have a laptop.

True story from years gone by, yet I still remember it.

 

[amcdonald]

Originally posted by: mobobuff

Originally posted by: zCypher
and at my current job my coworker jammed the keyboard connector into where the mouse is supposed to go (or vice versa, i forget). either way, you can imagine that the pins on the keyboard (or mouse) connector were pretty fvcked up after that! I had to force myself to NOT laugh out loud as I saw that. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to be rude about it so I just kept my mouth shut (otherwise i would have burst out laughing).

Some people and computers just don't mix.

Uhhh... both the keyboard and mouse connectors are mini-Din 5, they're exactly the same.

Hahahaha exactly. Imagine the damage that must have been done!!!
Good thing you didn't laugh out loud and make yourself look stupid.

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: zCypher
and at my current job my coworker jammed the keyboard connector into where the mouse is supposed to go (or vice versa, i forget). either way, you can imagine that the pins on the keyboard (or mouse) connector were pretty fvcked up after that! I had to force myself to NOT laugh out loud as I saw that. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to be rude about it so I just kept my mouth shut (otherwise i would have burst out laughing).

Some people and computers just don't mix.

i don't know which reality you are from, but in todays reality there is no difference between a ps/2 mouse port and a ps/2 keyboard port.

the older keyboard plug wouldn't fit in a ps/2 port AT ALL as it is way to big and there is no way you can get a older keyboard plug into a serial mouse port.

given any of the scenarios above, you are the idiot.

 

[mobobuff]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold

Originally posted by: zCypher
and at my current job my coworker jammed the keyboard connector into where the mouse is supposed to go (or vice versa, i forget). either way, you can imagine that the pins on the keyboard (or mouse) connector were pretty fvcked up after that! I had to force myself to NOT laugh out loud as I saw that. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to be rude about it so I just kept my mouth shut (otherwise i would have burst out laughing).

Some people and computers just don't mix.

i don't know which reality you are from, but in todays reality there is no difference between a ps/2 mouse port and a ps/2 keyboard port.

the older keyboard plug wouldn't fit in a ps/2 port AT ALL as it is way to big and there is no way you can get a older keyboard plug into a serial mouse port.

given any of the scenarios above, you are the idiot.

The "older keyboard plug" is ps/2 as well. It's just larger (Din 5 as opposed to mini-Din 5)

 

[madogvt]

From a Help line call I took a few years ago. A woman was calling to report her Point of Sale (POS) terminal was down. She was very busy at the time, so instead of saying "I'm having trouble with my POS ". She said:

" I'm having trouble with my PMS". We both had a laugh and I said, I'm sorry there was probably nothing I could do for her about that....

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: mobobuff

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold

Originally posted by: zCypher
and at my current job my coworker jammed the keyboard connector into where the mouse is supposed to go (or vice versa, i forget). either way, you can imagine that the pins on the keyboard (or mouse) connector were pretty fvcked up after that! I had to force myself to NOT laugh out loud as I saw that. I was going to comment, but I didn't want to be rude about it so I just kept my mouth shut (otherwise i would have burst out laughing).

Some people and computers just don't mix.

i don't know which reality you are from, but in todays reality there is no difference between a ps/2 mouse port and a ps/2 keyboard port.

the older keyboard plug wouldn't fit in a ps/2 port AT ALL as it is way to big and there is no way you can get a older keyboard plug into a serial mouse port.

given any of the scenarios above, you are the idiot.

The "older keyboard plug" is ps/2 as well. It's just larger (Din 5 as opposed to mini-Din 5)

really?? i only heard the term PS/2 with reference to the mini-Din 5. I always thought the older keyboard plugs were AT-Style.

 

[PlatinumGold]

i was right. din-5 is referred to as AT, minidin-6 is referred to as PS/2

http://www.computerhope.com/help/ps2.htm

makes sense anyway, as the din-5 was around way before the ps/2

 

[SNC]

Yep.

 

[Hyperblaze]

The site that I normally go to for a good laugh...

http://www.techtales.com/tftechs.html

Feel free to send your stories there =)

 

[slickcat]

I was in a college computer class once and saw one of the most amazing things ever. The instructor asked the class to insert their floppy disks in the floppy drive to practice saving things to the floppy. (I just love entry level computer classes that you can't test out of.) One lady a row over from me was having a problem finding the floppy drive. The lady sitting next to her went over to help her since she had already inserted her floppy into her drive. The problem being she was trying to assist the other lady in inserting her floppy into the cd rom. The lady had put her square floppy on top of the round cd tray and pushed it into the PC. Needless to say I had to bury my face in my hands to avoid laughing at her.

 

[Apathetic]

OK, this one is going to date me a bit...

When I was in college I worked at one of the campus PC labs. A girl came up to me saying she the PC was making "strange sounds". So I walk on over and pop open the 5 1/4" floppy drive to check the disk. When I pull it out, all I get is the magnetic media - no outer casing! Dumbfounded, I look to the side and see the remains of the plastic casing neatly openend. When I asked her why she did such a thing, she said she was just following her assignment instructions. The instructions read "...carefully remove the floppy from it's envelope and place it in the drive"...

Dave

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: AyashiKaibutsu

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: Hardcore
I had somebody call in just this morning complaining he didn't like the word BLACKLIST and WHITELIST on our webmail. Said it was racist!

I never quite thought of it that way. I guess we could call it Blocklist and Passlist?

Then we would offend football players.

LOL!

 

[DurocShark]

My favorite one:

I was working on Sat. We have very limited service on Sat and most calls are just password resets or VPN issues.

BranchManager: I need to order a whole new office.
Me: Huh?
BM: Yeah, every piece of equipment needs to be replaced NOW!
Me: Ok, I'll bite. Why? (I'm thinking it's my manager calling to mess with me. He does that kind of crap...)
BM: Well, I terminated 2 people and they ripped us off.
Me: How do you know it was them?
BM: Because I left a note on the door telling them to go home and I found it on an empty desk with "Fvck You" written on it.
Me: (realizing this is real) Did you call the police?
BM: Why should I?

 

[brunswickite]

I worked at a computer helpdesk for my school.

user: hello, uhh, i would like to change my email username, i think....
me: um ok, well you have to fill out a form, why would you like to change it?
user: i think its screwed up...
me: why?
user: well the online form i used to create it said "input 'username' in box to create email account so i did...
me: <laughing> so wait your username is username?
user: yes
me: hahahah

 

[Quasmo]

My mom was complaing at me the other day about nothing being able to open on her computer, everytime she would open a window it would automatically close. So I sat down at her computer and noticed that there were some books on her keyboard. After removing the books from the escape key her computer worked fine. (wonder why?)

 

[Tweak155]

Originally posted by: KLin

Originally posted by: Tweak155

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: Tweak155
reminds me of that one tech support phone call for some word processor...

The guy reported that he was using the word processor and it just went blank...

Long story short, after a huge long process of trying to determine the problem, the customer stated his power went out

The tech supports response to this was:
"You need to pack up your computer exactly the way it was and take it back to where you got it"

-customer: "Well what do i tell them? is it really that bad?"

"Tell them you are too fvcking stupid to own a computer"

The tech person was fired, haha

I think that's an urban myth.

Its not, it just happened to be one of those recorded phone calls, the transcript is online somewhere, but i read it soooo long ago i dont remember which word processor it was...this was back when there was more than just MS Word

You could read the conversation word for word, it was a few pages

You've been snoped.

I stand corrected, the person that showed it to me a long time ago convinced me it was real (has to have been at least 3 years now)...sorry bout that

 

[flexy]

Originally posted by: Gurck
This is scary stuff... I can barely handle tech support for family &amp; friends without blowing up (and do occasionally), and couldn't handle doing it as my job...

same here...i think i would go insane...

The irony is...there are tech-support people who are *at least* as dumb as the dumb people calling in there.....

 

[TwiceOver]

So we decided to switch internet here at work. I work at night and planned on meeting the service tech in the morning to connect cable internet at 10am. I decided in order to save myself the headache of being woken up by a phone call, I would leave a memo on the keyboard of each computer concerning the down internet. I continued my shift and left at 12m.

Sure enough my boss calls at 8:45. "Dan, I have no internet. WTF?". I decided to see why he can't seem to read and left for work. When I got there I glanced around his desk and saw a crupled up memo paper. I straightened it out, laid it back where it was when I left last night, and said "Thanx for the extra hour of overtime".

DipSh!t

 

[SagaLore]

We had a lady that had trouble connect her keyboard to her computer. She couldn't get it lined up right to push it in. One of the techs suggested to her over the phone to push and turn the connector until it was able to push in. Next day she comes into the store and shows us the keyboard, the pins were completely bent around in a circle. We gave her a new keyboard. Then she came in again the next day with same problem.

As far as the CD tray / cup of coffee story, I know that happened with one user at my present employer.

Plugging phone lines into ethernet ports, that is very common. I really don't blame them.

I did have one lady that called up yelling, she was going to pack all her stuff up she just bougtht and expected a full refund because it was junk and didn't work. I managed to calm her down, and went through the usual routine to make sure everything was plugged in right. First plug to check was the black power cord. She looked, paused, then cracked up laughing asking if she could call me back. No call back...

One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Okay here is the good one. I get this support call from what seemed like a nice guy. Just wanted some help with his internet connection, it was slow and unstable. About 10 minutes into the call, I hear this door slam open and some lady is screaming at him. It went something like "Did you like it? Huh? You b@stard, did you like it? Did you fvcking like it?" and all the while he stays on the line, pretending like she's not there, just muttering "just don't worry about it" and he's still trying to get support. Then she goes on to yell at him "she's your fvckin' cousin, did you like screwing your cousin?" I gather they're in some trailer park and this "cousin" is just a few rows over - and just a teenager. I eventually just tell him "give me a call back in a few minutes after you retry your dialup" and hangup. I don't understand why he stayed on the phone with me for so long...

 

[DurocShark]

Originally posted by: SagaLore
"she's your fvckin' cousin, did you like screwing your cousin?"

What state do you live in again?

 

[silent tone]

I've gotten this call more than once.

Me: ...So, I'll give you a callback when you return to the office and we can finish this. When will you be back?
Her: About 2:00
Me: and is that central time?
Her: huh?
Me: What time zone are you in?
Her: I don't know.
Me: Okay, what time is it now?...

On second thought, the calls from informed people are much more "odd" than the regular clueless user. With that in mind,

I've had a user tell me that a radio button was checked, and they used the term "radio button".

 

[Steve]

Originally posted by: madogvt
From a Help line call I took a few years ago. A woman was calling to report her Point of Sale (POS) terminal was down. She was very busy at the time, so instead of saying "I'm having trouble with my POS ". She said:

" I'm having trouble with my PMS". We both had a laugh and I said, I'm sorry there was probably nothing I could do for her about that....

Last year I was asked by a girl at school to help replace her defective hard drive. We did an advance RMA with Western Digital, and while we waited for delivery I set her up with a spare from the school's IS department. I told her to email me when her new drive arrived. Sure enough, a few days later I got an email from her. The subject line was: "Help with my 'pooter" I didn't have the heart to tell her what she was unwittingly referring to.

 

[Steve]

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

 

[trilks]

Originally posted by: sm8000

Originally posted by: SagaLore
One guy and his teenage son had a computer for only a few months before they needed it serviced. When we booted it up, there was a folder on the desktop with 2gb worth of nude/porn images. We promptly put the cd writer to use...

Last year when I was helping my school's IS department clean through a pile of students' PCs infected by Blaster, one student had as his wallpaper a picture of his girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend both in bikinis, wet from swimming, on their hands and knees, cheek to cheek while facing the camera. I think I still have that picture somewhere....

:thumbsup: