You Know You're In College When.. (Personal, Experienced Jokes)

[pamchenko]

you know you're in college when...

11) you meet people from around the world with different cultures in the same dorm
11a) including one guy next door whose room smells so bad he must be taking dumps in the closet
11b) that smell so bad you have to put a towel over the crack under the door
12) talk about that awesome game of lanned quake over dinner, turning off every single girl at the table
13) somedays you sleep more at the library than in your own room
14) put ketchup on all your foods
15) learn that a package of ramen noodles in campbells soup is a meal for a king
16) you drink because everyone else does
17) you go to the place with such lax ID checks for beer that you can get away with giving the guy at the counter your library card as proof of age

 

[rgwalt]

You realize that you should have been doing your work EARLIER instead of watching HBO, and then you make stupid statements like



<< You hoard quarters, and sell them to people for 5 for a dollar. >>



When you should have said three for a dollar.

*When you can get a girl to take off her shirt so you can smear laundry detergent on her boobs under a black light.

You pray your GF doesn't hear about it.

Ryan

 

[rgwalt]

One more...

All your friends (esp the girls) drop the taboo of talking about masterbation. I mean, what the hell is with this one? I'm probably the only one here with this problem... sigh.

Ryan

 

[joohang]

Funny how I hardly apply to any of these.

 

[brxndxn]

you can bump into everyone intentionally walking down a busy sidewalk and everyone is too busy to pick a fight with you

you realize that if you don't look where you're going, other people will and they'll get out of your way

you see familiar faces and stop to say hi but you don't remember their names and they don't remember your's

you get to sleep 1 hour later every night

you waste time typing up this crap at 3:00AM when you have to be up at 7:30AM

 

[SinNisTeR]

you realize that if you don't look where you're going, other people will and they'll get out of your way.


HAHAHA, funny cuz its true.

you wake up in the morning thinking you have food in your mouth but its only your tongue after being drunk with low budget booze.

 

[polotek147]

You Know You're In College When...
You try to PM things at the supermarket, or try to find the hottest deals on snacks for the dorm.
This is a very sad thing, but it's true.

 

[jcballer1]

yes polotek...

just like the day i found a 24pack of pepsi for only $2.99 (now its back up to $6.99 again)

 

[polotek147]

yes jcballer1...
Those b@$t@rd$ at ShopRite. They're robbing us college students blind. Once again, I repeat: Those b@$t@rd$!!!

 

[GTaudiophile]

When you IM your roommate who sits right next to you instead of talking to him.
When playing CS for close to 24 hours straight is a common occurance.
When your roommate complains of a hot room when he's running 6 boxes and a switch.
When you knock on every door on the hall, looking for a ride to the grocery store.
When you rush the field, risk your life, and take down the goal post.
When you feel like you have mono your entire freshman year.
When you have to start wearing slippers in the shower because you have athletes' foot.
When you have over 50GB of mp3s.
When you wake up to find a guy sleeping in the hall and shaking because he drank too much, and you have to call 911.

 

[jpsj82]

"then you make stupid statements like

<< You hoard quarters, and sell them to people for 5 for a dollar. >>

When you should have said three for a dollar."

lol

 

[astroview]

1) When you are posting and reading the forums, and you have a test in one hour (me right now!)
2) When you look over and you see your roomate pouring Pert Plus shampoo on his scanner, because his "online girlfriend" asked him to jerk off onto the scanner and send her a pic of the "stuff," and he didn't want to, so he was trying to convince her the shampoo was sperm. God my freshman year roomie was a weirdo loser.
3) You play 60 hours of FPS games in a week, and its not that much.
4) Your friends institute rules that say no drinking 3 days in a row, to control themselves.
5) When you realize you made the biggest mistake of your life by going to an engineering school that has no chicks. (once again me)

 

[SpongeBob]

You set up a slip and slide in the dorm hallway(that was a wattery mess)

You obtain a 75 gallon kiddie-pool and decide putting it in your dorm room is a good idea(it was fine until we put the keg in it which displaced a bit more water than we expected)

The kitchen in the house you rent gets burned to the ground two consecutive years in a row(Once me, once one of my roomates, but those french fries were worth the hospital visit)

You awake to find your roomate screaming like a little girl that there is a bat flying around in his room, and then proceed to watch as he tries to smack it with a broom, well eventually he hit it and decided to throw it outside the window(not to mention the next day the same incident occured in the living room)

You and your roomates in a drunken rage decide to see the amount of damage you can possibly do to your house(I remember waking up in the morning with a headache and thinking someone had broken in)

Your basement floods after a heavy rain and you decide that this is a good oportunity to "go surfing", unfortunately all you have as a surfboard is a cabinet door from the kitchen.

Seeing as how your roomate brought a microwave, you decide to "experiment" of the one that was furnished with the house, this leads to a "small" fire in the backyard of the house, prompting the neighbors to call the police.

That's all I can think of right now!

 

[SpongeBob]

5) When you realize you made the biggest mistake of your life by going to an engineering school that has no chicks. (once again me)

this should be the number 1 on my list! There's always grad school...

 

[dman]

YKYA Freshman in College when: You find your first class is at 8am and next class is at 4pm because all the upperclassmen get to register first.

Anecdote:

At our college, there were restrooms located off the Breezeway. Well, each restroom (Men and Women) had 2 doors (total of 4 doors). So, if you didn't pay attention you are walking down the hall, pass the womens door, and turn at the next door into the mens room (which is still the womens room). The same thing could happen to women passing the first mens room door and go into the next door, and it's still the mens room. The mens room had a front area with sinks and mirrors, and a back area (separated by a wall) with the stalls.

A group of us used to hang out between classes in the courtyard area (close to the cafeteria, vending machines, and restrooms). Every once in a while see someone come down, go into the wrong restroom, and come out redfaced. It was good for cheap laughs.

Well, one day, we see a girl go into the mens room and NOT come right back out. She's in there for a while, so, my buddy decides to investigate. He walks in, (and according to him) proceeds to the back area and does his business, and comes back out to relate his story of how the girl laughed at him for being in the wrong restroom as she continued to fix up her makeup. Of course, after he left, she came out shortly and turned beet red as she realized she was the one in the wrong restroom.

Hehehe.

 

[iamwiz82]

you wait on the fourth floor landing of the dorms, throwing snow on all who enter the stairwell from below.

you flood the local RA's room with rotten milk, to get him back

cooking rice becomes an art form.

firealarms become your alarm clock

nude scooter races around the dorms are normal.

 

[GTaudiophile]

You know you're freshmeat when you laugh your a$$ off making prank calls to Tech TV's tutor channel!

Uhhh...what's the ph of diahrea? Could you solve problem #12c on page 374 of "Nuclear Physics: Explained?"

 

[Texmaster]

You know your in college when:

#1 Getting your roomate drunk for the first time is more important than finals

#2 Practical jokes become daily brain storming sessions

#3 Locking your RA in his room when he starts to get a little nosey

#4 Stealing towels from hapless shower victims getting everyone on the floor to watch from the hall and locking every door.

#5 Water balloon launching at drunks coming home involves multiple lookouts

#6 Some guy who was caught on your floor having a little "personal time" is nicknamed "Captain Smack"

#7 Coming home from a party or work and see 7 guys in the hallway listening to the stud on the floor during another conquest.

#8 Ouja Boards

#9 Discovering that some portable phones when walked around a room can actually pick up other conversations

#10 Calling freshman at 2am claiming to be "campus maintenence" cheaking on an electrical drain then watching from your window with 20 guys in your room to see them turning everything on you ask.

#11 Buying freshman beer, for a price.

#12 Hooking up with the chick your roomate is afriad to ask out and runs to another room every time she looks for him (this guy was pathetic she was awesome)

#13 making life miserable for the one guy on your wing who isn't welcome until he switches with one of your other friends on another floor.

#14 Daily Packer Fan bashing sessions

#15 You and your floor get blasted before going to a girl's floor for scary stories

#16 Running the school computer lab with buddies and going up to friends sitting in the lab and say in a LOUD voice "I'm sorry sir but we dont allow the viewing of child pornography here"

 

[yos]

You sneak into a girls room and steal all her thong underwear only to tape each pair to the windows of the 4th floor of the dorm while everyone is walking by.

diggity...

-Yos

 

[Avalanche007]

When you hear someone say "fuuck I was raped" and you know they are talking about last weeks midterm.

 

[johndoe52]

<< 5) When you realize you made the biggest mistake of your life by going to an engineering school that has no chicks. (once again me) >>


You're not alone on that one. Ratio here....3 guys for every 1 girl. Worse for my sister though...8 girls for every 1 guy. Damn I want to transfer.

You know your at college when
you wake up drunk
you learn how to build a computer in 2 months while skipping classes
if the class doesn't take attendence going to that class is optional
breakfast in during lunch...lunch is during dinner...and dinner is sometime between 9pm and 4 am
you take a nap in the afternoon and wake up at 7 thinking it's tomorrow morning
you have to wear sandels in the shower for fear of stepping in someone else's "shower water"
you don't walk too far south of the campus for fear of being in the "ghetto"

 

[yobarman]

You know you're in college(a college with a poor girl to guy ratio...) when..

1. You try to make friends with all the ugly girls in your class, because just yesterday you saw them walking with one of the hottest girls you've every seen on campus! (is that so wrong...to use people for some play?)
2. When you puke all over yourself and say you'll never drink again...and then you do it next week, even more cause you think you've built up some toelerance.
3. Marijuana is the spice of life.

 

[pamchenko]

<< you take a nap in the afternoon and wake up at 7 thinking it's tomorrow morning >>



omg i did that so many times senior year!!

when i slept in class, sometimes I would wake up and not know where I was

 

[TonTo]

stealing road signs...
replacing road signs with other road signs.
seeing how tall you make that tower of beer cans.
taking that said tower, duct taping the cans together and making a really long "lance" with it and go "jousting" with them.....(that was a bad night...... )
waking up someplace and having NO clue where you are..... and introducing yourself to the people around you.
wearing sandles in the shower....
driving an hour, to steal a goat from a farm place, and sneaking it into the dormsand keeping it there for 3 days in someone's room cuz they're gone)
let me think some more....
oh yeah, frebreeze.... gotta love that stuff

Edit: those big old elephant mirrors on pick up trucks, HURT, be carefull of those if you do the jousting thing.... it helps if you're driving a HUGE truck....

 

[CronicallyImpared]

1. Go to frat party, start drinking, wake up the next day on the frat house floor wearing a plege pin.
2. Show up to organic chem final 20 minites late wearing boxer shorts, flip-flops and a wife beater in December.
3. Go to eleven o'clock hour of class your scheduled for eight so much that the proffessor drops you from eight o'clock section, then runs into you three weeks later and asks you why you stopped coming to class.
4. Run around football field wearing only tighty whitey's and carring school flag for bottle of Jack Daniels.
5. Join all night 007 marathon for N64 day before Unit Op's test.
6. Find pictures of yourself riding the statue of the school mascot with no recolection of event taking place.
7. Eat raman noodles for period of 5 weeks while waiting for financial aid disbursement check.
8. Join League of Woman Engineers to meet chicks.
9. Take philosophy as elective to meet chicks.
10. Get work-study job at library to meet chicks.
11. Take Study of Contemporary Theatre to meet chicks.