You Know You're In College When.. (Personal, Experienced Jokes)

[CuriousAndy]

You Know You're In College When..

Please post only the ones you've experienced yourself and find it funny. Here are some of mine..

1.... you get your freakin' dish detergent stolen while stepping out of bathroom for a sec
2....you were tempted to steal silverware from cafeteria.
3..... and will do it tomorrow (me..)
4.....you're always broke.. I'm talking about "hey do you have a quarter for my 75 cents so I can get a drink?" broke
5....Coed floors.. girls in tight pajamas.. just outside your door, overlooking this monitor..
6....you neff even more with T3..

~andy<feel free to add your own.. but only ur own>

 

[MajesticMoose]

#2 done, in fact i just got done eating some pie with one of the spoons. for a while i even stock my fridge with the soda, but stopped seeing as how they would call the police if they caught me.

Another:
1) You're getting phone spam, more than email spam
2)subsisting on popcorn doesn't sound like a bad idea
3)you have to get a new hard drive because of all the worthless junk you've taken to downloading

oh BTW what school do you go to?

 

[rgwalt]

Your roommate says, "Awe, come on. Just one more hit... It'll help you write the paper".

You stay up to 4 AM goofing off the night a paper is due, then go to sleep and wake up at 7 AM, write it, and get pissed when you get a D- (not me, my roommate frosh year).

You walk in to find two people, neither of whome live in your room, having sex on your futon.

You get home at 1 AM, walk down the hall to take a leak, and realize a guy is taking a shower with his GF.

Someone hits you up for $2 or $3 every night to order pizza.

You don't think a thing of dropping close to 2 grand over 4 years for books, but carefully consider whether or not you need to spend the money to get rid of your athelete's foot.

You hoard quarters, and sell them to people for 5 for a dollar.

You discover which candy machines will give you quarters for dollars, because the damn change machine only gives 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickle.

You drink Surge mixed with Everclear, warm.


I've got others, but I need to get some work done.

Ryan

 

[yoda291]

you pay for an 80 dollar textbook and bitch the whole year that you won't get a tenth of its value at sellback, then at the end of the semester, you're the first in line anxiously waiting to receive your crisp new 10 dollar bill for it.

you roll out of bed in the morning hung over and seriously consider dropping out because the floors are too hard.

you can no longer distinguish between the lounge sofa and your bed.

weekends are just a very blurry memory. You vaguely recall singing.

 

[firestar46]

'Your roommate says, "Awe, come on. Just one more hit... It'll help you write the paper".'

So true, rgwalt, so true...tho in my case, replace "hit" with "swig"...

 

[rgwalt]

You use book buy-back money to get a N64, when you know you just may need those books someday.

Damn, I wish I would have kept my calc 3 and diff EQ books.

You drink Nyquil samples from orientation when you are hard up for a buzz.

Ryan

 

[rgwalt]

firestar46- :0) Damn my lack of self control.

You wonder why you get sick so often, as you take a drag off your cig, take a bite of pizza, take a shot of rum, and wash it all down with some beer.

Ryan

 

[Static911]

when staying up 48 hrs at a time isn't that bad

so far, have done 8 48hrs+ and 1 72hrs

static911

 

[Joe2Cool]

some girls seem like they just got laid

some class u stayed and funk because of the girls in the class

u walk extra mile to class because some fine girls just happens to walk pass u

sometimes u wonder, "is that girl wearing any under garments"

potatoe chips are a complete and balance breakfast or lunch

u tell ppl ur studying at school library when ur actually surfing the net all freaking day long

stock up on condoms when they're onsale or when it's free


That's all i can think of now. yes some do reflect upon me...

 

[brxndxn]

You've got on the wrong bus route and figured 'what the hell, I can't be that far away' and decided to walk - for the next four hours to get back home.

You've tripped because your head was at a 45-degree angle trying to check out a chick while walking.

You have three other roomates - and there are only three bottles of detergent in your apartment and they seem to go faster than normal.

Two roomates mess up the apartment and party; the other two clean it and study.

You have three roomates and only two have ever been in the apartment at the same time.

You've been jealous of your friends that go to the local community college because they get to live with their parents and date high-school girls.

You have a George Foreman grill and you never clean it and you have a corner of your kitchen devoted to it.

You've seen some idiot brag about how he has a beer and he's underage and how he takes a sip of it every once in a while. (true story)

You get annoyed at all the hary krishnas that cook their damn food on campus, wear their pink sheets, and play their damn annoying chanting crap all day - totally oblivious to the fact that they're all brainwashed and I'd kick the crap out of them if I only had a few extra minutes walking from the New Physics Building to Matherly Fvckin' Hall an uphill mile and a half away!

 

[rgwalt]

You fall asleep on the bus, and the driver doesn't see you at the last stop. Before you know it, you wake up at the bus depot, and the driver has to give you a ride home. (another roommie, not me)

All you have in your fridge is burritos and beer.

You have two fridges... one in the open, and the other in closet.

You have a one night stand with a chick from down the hall, and suddenly you find yourself taking the stairs a lot more often (friend of mine)

You hang out in the lobby, and watch the procession of drunks coming in around 2:30.

On move out day, the stuff from home you couldn't live without when moving in suddenly becomes useless as dryer lint.

Ryan

 

[pamchenko]

you know ur in college when...
1) you run around the house wearing only a sock even though there is 6 inches of snow outside
2) you scoop out the stir fry in the sink that was just puked up by your crush party date who I found out two years later blew some guy 15 minutes before while I was off mingling. gosh... the only chinese food I hope i was scooping out was stir fry and not cream of sum young guy
3) your clothes are only half dry but you stuff em (never fold) into the draw anyways...you smell like mildew for the next 2 months because you only do laundry every two months.
4) you drink Milwaukee's Best (oh god that stuff is awful)
5) you walk around a party looking for the girl in the negative sense in that you look for the one most bareable or with the fewest flaws...
6) your kitchen floor is sticky
7) there is a hole in your door from locking someone in the closet for fun
8) the kitchen ceiling lamp is now held up by duct tape
9) there is ethernet cable everywhere ... a complete fire hazard but a small price to pay for cheap off campus internet
10) you have fantasies of doing a girl while she's bent over in a fume hood in the chem lab.

hope these were half as funny as rgwalts...

 

[Rage187]

"10) you have fantasies of doing a girl while she's bent over in a fume hood in the chem lab."


LMAO


"Hey baby you look sexy in that smock and safety glasses.."

 

[badluck]

Heh....Here's how one of my proud moments go...

You want to drink beer in the football stadium cuz they don't sell it there....so you get a buddy, get a wheelchair from somewhere, put your buddy in it, throw a pony keg in-between his legs -- throw a blanket over him, wheel his a*s in and get drunk as f**k....

Hey, you gotta do something to make a KU Football game fun....

 

[Joe2Cool]

new uses for testing tubes?
all sizes too

 

[pamchenko]

joe2cool, that's just dangerous because if the glass broke from, lets just say ... "over-enthusiasm at climax"...you'd have a bloody mess and quite a story to tell the nurse practicioner at the health office.

 

[Joe2Cool]

Eventho ur a Engineering major, u still like hanging out at the Business buildings since htat's where the girls are.

 

[rgwalt]

Pamchenko-

Thanks, I realized I'm starting to get lame as the night goes on and I get nostalgic, so thanks for the confidence booster. All yours are so true... except I don't think 2 and 10 apply to ME necessarily.

Ryan

 

[bootymac]

my god im looking forward to college!!

 

[Static911]

college = best times of my life

static911

 

[Joe2Cool]

pamchenko: that's when the latex gloves comes in handy.

 

[rgwalt]

You look forward to going home because your mom will feed you nutritious food, and hopefully your cuts will begin to heal.

You post stupid song lyrics on your door (that have meaning at the time). When you take them down at the end of the year, you think "Man, this was pointless".

You wake up at least once a week thinking "I will never drink that much again".

You give people access to your printer, and they think "I can print my paper at 4 AM, he'll still be up". And half the time they are right.

Ryan

 

[johndoe52]

<<

You hoard quarters, and sell them to people for 5 for a dollar.

Ryan >>



Anyone else see something wrong with this?

You know your in college when...

you start saying you'll do the homework in class tomorrow
you drink/smoke openly out back cause you know public safety won't do anything
taking a shower in the moring is optional
you sleep in what you're going to wear tomorrow so you can sleep for an extra 5 minutes
your dad stops by randomly and you scan the room for anything that shouldn't be out
you're only 19 and your dad buys you beer!!!!

 

[AznMaverick]

when you notice that your walking around to classes by yourself instead of with friends.

 

[Joe2Cool]

when you notice that your walking around to classes by yourself instead of with friends.

kinda sad especailyl when ur friends goes to different universities hunders of miles away.