Just an update (I'm sure everyone is dying for this..) but after the tracking, not my package fiasco, I tried to get a lead time from the vendor, who just kept apologizing in broken english. This prompted me to reach out directly to NewEgg, who tried to do the same and after about a month of back and forth they issued a credit. The SAME DAY they issue the credit ONE of the desks shows up at my house

I email NewEgg saying I don't feel right not paying for it and ask them to charge me... they thanked me for my honesty and would reach out to the vendor to charge me. That was a week ago...
The desk itself took about 10min to put together and is pretty stout and I would still like another.