A guy walks into a bar with a tentacle monster. The bartender tells the guy no pets. So the guy replies "This is a special one though, it can play any instrument you give it." So the bartender curious, tells it to go to the piano, where it plays a perfect song, some else hands it a guitar, where it strums a perfect melody. Then a nearby patron gives it a set of bag pipes. After a few minutes of the monster looking at it the guy who handed the monster the bagpipes says. "Looks like he can't play it." To which the monster replies.
"Play it? As soon as I can get the pajamas off I'm going to #@$^ it!"