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George P Burdell
Lifer
some good advice :thumbsup:
sixone
Lifer
You should definitely talk with her about it, but not in a confrontational way. You could tell her that her question about dying has been worrying you. Her reaction will tell you whether she really meant it.
If you think she is considering suicide, please help her get help. Offer to go with her to the school counselor; failing that, tell the counselor and/or her parents.
Well, the one thing I felt when she asked me if I'd care was trust, and I'd pretty much feel like betraying her if I'd tell her parents or the counselor (if we have one 😕 ).
And everyone here except you, sixone, and a few others are telling me that she's psycho.. How much of this should I believe? She looks like a pretty normal girl to me (although you can't say if someone has psychological problems just by looking at them).
SMOGZINN
Lifer
Really, this is a crush coupled with teen angst at its finest. Everyone here saying that she is a psycho is because they are use to seeing women in their late teens to early twenties doing this, and that is almost always a sign of developmental problems, but this girl is still in those developmental years, so is showing age appropriate behavior.
That being said, I would point out that suicide threats are never something to take lightly, but I don?t think I really heard a threat there, I think I just heard the teenage validation of life. ?Would anyone really care if I was dead? adults do this too, but they have different ways of answering that question then a teens straight forward asking.
On too advice, I am going to make a few guesses here, if any of these are wrong, then you should take that into consideration when thinking about my advice.
1 It seems to me that you are still fairly young, I would guess 14-16 probably around 15.
2 I would guess that you do not yet really have a ?type? of girl that attracts you. (other then the obvious)
3. You do not really know if you want to go out with her. You are feeling more anxious about the situation then excited.
Okay, it is natural to feel anxious about it. You don?t really know what to expect, you don?t know the rules to this game (trust me no man every really learns the rules to this game) and you are certain that you are going to make a big fool of yourself. The thing to remember is that she is just as nervous and unsure about herself as you. She has taken a lot of the pressure off of you already by letting you know that she would welcome an advance from you.
Still, your instinct is to pull away and not take the chance. In this case that is the wrong action. You need to go for it. It is just a date, you are not asking her to marry you, and the odds are even if everything goes great, this relationship will not last more then a few months. And it will help you out more then you could possibly imagine.
The most important lesson we can learn in life is that we must take risks or we will never improve.
EDIT: Oh, and your poll needs to have Crush/infatuation added to it, because you can?t really consider it love.
That being said, I would point out that suicide threats are never something to take lightly, but I don?t think I really heard a threat there, I think I just heard the teenage validation of life. ?Would anyone really care if I was dead? adults do this too, but they have different ways of answering that question then a teens straight forward asking.
On too advice, I am going to make a few guesses here, if any of these are wrong, then you should take that into consideration when thinking about my advice.
1 It seems to me that you are still fairly young, I would guess 14-16 probably around 15.
2 I would guess that you do not yet really have a ?type? of girl that attracts you. (other then the obvious)
3. You do not really know if you want to go out with her. You are feeling more anxious about the situation then excited.
Okay, it is natural to feel anxious about it. You don?t really know what to expect, you don?t know the rules to this game (trust me no man every really learns the rules to this game) and you are certain that you are going to make a big fool of yourself. The thing to remember is that she is just as nervous and unsure about herself as you. She has taken a lot of the pressure off of you already by letting you know that she would welcome an advance from you.
Still, your instinct is to pull away and not take the chance. In this case that is the wrong action. You need to go for it. It is just a date, you are not asking her to marry you, and the odds are even if everything goes great, this relationship will not last more then a few months. And it will help you out more then you could possibly imagine.
The most important lesson we can learn in life is that we must take risks or we will never improve.
EDIT: Oh, and your poll needs to have Crush/infatuation added to it, because you can?t really consider it love.
sixone
Lifer
Keeping her alive is not betraying her. Wouldn't you rather have her hate you for the rest of her natural life, than to know that she'd be alive if you'd only told someone who could help her? If she had made up her mind to kill herself, she would have just done it. There's a reason she asked YOU that question - she cares what you think, and she isn't ready to do it.
I don't think the people posting "Psycho" knew that she was 15. Obviously, she has some problems, but so do you. We all do, they're not always obvious to outsiders, is all.
GuitarDaddy
Lifer
Age makes a big difference, the kind of behavior you described could be a sign of something more troubling if she where say 18-21, but for a 15yr old girl it's much more normal IMO.
GuitarDaddy
Lifer
quote "Not thinking of sex, though (actually, that's all that's on my mind, but it's none of your bussiness ), I'm only 14. She just turned 15. "
SMOGZINN
Lifer
Good for you, Vegitto. try to remember that however nervous you are, she is just as nervous. She is not an expert at the dating rituals of teenagers any more then you are, and is in no position to judge you. The truth is, she is the one with the crush, and will probably be too busy concentrating on not yakking all over your shoes from the butterflies in her stomach to notice if you stutter or say um, um, um. 😀
meltdown75
Lifer
if your weenie starts to twitch, that's proof that you love one another.
Ok, you want advice from a female? Don't date girls from your school. Date girls from other high schools (middle schools? What grade are you in?) because then when you break up with them you don't have to deal with all the drama bullsh!t. That's my advice. You probably don't like it, but it's really true. Life is simpler when you aren't running into your exes at school every damn day.
You do need to address this girl's problems though. She has confided in you. Remember, it's not betraying someone's trust to tell an adult who is in charge (your parent, counselor, etc) when someone is a danger to herself or others. How would you feel if she cut her wrists and you were the only one who knew she might be suicidal? Wouldn't you rather have her mad at you and alive than have her dead?
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