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YAGT: Would you date a girl you're not really attracted to

S

slackerinabox

Lifer
so there's this girl i've dated on and off who really digs me but who I'm not really attracted to. She's funny, smart, makes twice as much as me and is well put together, but she's not my type... I've been trying to find that perfect balance but now I'm a bit jaded - maybe I won't find that hipster brunette girl who's also emotionally stable and cute to me... Or maybe I will. I feel like this girl wants a sense of commitment and, while I like her a lot, I'm not sure if I should take that plunge when I'm not as wild about her as she seems to be about me.

One option is to string her along, but that seems rude since she is a cool girl who's fun to be around and not someone I want to mess with emotionally. I've tried to stay away from her for a while now as I figured things out but, i admit, I'm a bit lonely and do miss her.. but i feel like doing anything at this point will lead her on, and i'm not sure how i feel about her.. thoughts?
 
Originally posted by: PastaPete

is this the 19 year old girl?

some people think ATOT is their blog, I know half of your life stories
Click to expand...

nope, she's not 19... as far as you knowing half of my life, frankly - i don't really care... good for you! or just don't read my posts if it bothers you
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: PastaPete

is this the 19 year old girl?

some people think ATOT is their blog, I know half of your life stories
Click to expand...

nope, she's not 19... as far as you knowing half of my life, frankly - i don't really care... good for you! or just don't read my posts if it bothers you
Click to expand...

oooh someones getting catty


relax buster!
 
Originally posted by: clamum
I don't know about you but I couldn't be with a girl I wasn't attracted to. What's the point?
Click to expand...

well, if you look at a lot of long term relationships you see a lot of people who settled on one side or the other. i mean, i'm a portly guy who's loosing hair and my ex, a cute girl, dated me for nearly 7 years. I doubt she was attracted to me at first but things about me evened it out, know what i mean?
 
Originally posted by: PastaPete
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: PastaPete

is this the 19 year old girl?

some people think ATOT is their blog, I know half of your life stories
Click to expand...

nope, she's not 19... as far as you knowing half of my life, frankly - i don't really care... good for you! or just don't read my posts if it bothers you
Click to expand...

oooh someones getting catty


relax buster!
Click to expand...

I'm chill, bro, I'm chill 😉 Just saying that you can ignore my posts if they bug you, that's all
 
Be friends and have fun.

Just be honest with her. Dont be to blunt and insensitive though. You are a big boy you should be able to handle being friends and working things out. You dont have to just pick up and run away. No friendship is perfect and always needs ajusting and discernment. And hey you never know you may grow to love her. Either way dont throw away a friendship.
 
Originally posted by: her209
If she's perfect then why aren't you attracted to her?
Click to expand...

She's a perfect adult, which is not what a lot of girls that I'm into are.

For example, I have a friend I'm nuts about who's hot but a mess - doesn't pay rent on time, seems to always be a step away from being homeless, probably drinks too much. She's a mess but I find her hot. This girl who digs me is stable - works in I.T., takes care of herself, is very educated and talks a bunch of languages. The kind of girl you'd like to introduce your mom too - but I'm just not physically attracted to her.
 
Originally posted by: tk109
Be friends and have fun.

Just be honest with her. Dont be to blunt and insensitive though. You are a big boy you should be able to handle being friends and working things out. You dont have to just pick up and run away. No friendship is perfect and always needs ajusting and discernment. And hey you never know you may grow to love her. Either way dont throw away a friendship.
Click to expand...

You're right. The problem is that she's attracted to me and, when I'm drunk and since I'm single, we often got into make out sessions when we'd go out. It's my fault for setting that precident but I think she thinks that we're something that I don't want to be. The last time I was playing it "just a friend" style and she seemed annoyed and frustrated, rightfully so.

But i think that's what I'll do - avoid drunk making out and just be a friend.. so she'll think i'm gay! ha
 
I don't have anything constructive to add, but I could play a game of pong with you. I'll start...


|.
 
Originally posted by: EGGO
If there's no attraction, there's no question.
Click to expand...

qft....

you can have your absolute IDEAL woman, but if you aren't attracted to her, it won't work in the end. might be able to keep things alive for a little while, but ultimately, you will find yourself unsatisfied not because you have a "bad" SO, but because you simply do not find her attractive in such a way that lends itself to a committed relationship.
 
I'd say there has to be some physical attraction.

I wouldn't expect to get a perfectly gorgeous girl though.

You gotta sacrifice something usually...but if you just plain don't find her attractive at all...then yeah, i don't think that would work out so well.
 
I guess you know what makes someone attractive to you then.....For me, it is a friendship that gets so strong they are your #1 best friend, I guess love follows, but not to sure how the attraction thing works. Maybe its just a mind thing for you, because when drunk, your body seems attracted to her.

Dont ever say you are NOT attracted to her though, as girllies dont like that!!!

Maybe you should assess to yourself what it is that makes girls attractive to you, body or mind
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: clamum
I don't know about you but I couldn't be with a girl I wasn't attracted to. What's the point?
Click to expand...

well, if you look at a lot of long term relationships you see a lot of people who settled on one side or the other. i mean, i'm a portly guy who's loosing hair and my ex, a cute girl, dated me for nearly 7 years. I doubt she was attracted to me at first but things about me evened it out, know what i mean?
Click to expand...

That means you havw a small cock too.. Goof luck to you!
 
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