YAGT: So my girlfriend went to chill with a guy friend...

[chambersc]

Going on a date with another guy (which is what this is) is where I draw the line in the relationship. The decision is yours my friend...if you really and truely trust her and know 100
% that nothing happened, talk it out and forgive her. If you have doubts, it's time to move on.

 

[reverend boltron]

Originally posted by: soccerballtux

OTOH, TIGAT.

I know what OTOH means, what does TIGAT mean?

 

[Vich]

Originally posted by: reverend boltron

Originally posted by: soccerballtux

OTOH, TIGAT.

I know what OTOH means, what does TIGAT mean?

What you're in is not a relationship. In a relationship the Significant Other does not go out with other people of the opposite sex by herself all night long.

 

[davestar]

Originally posted by: Iron Addict

Why I am mad:
1. She does NOT understand why I was mad. I wasn't upset because I was jealous. I was upset cause I was so worried about her safety and well being.

No, you were jealous. Saying that you were worried about her just makes you feel better about yourself. "Wow, I'm so selfless. I can't believe she would ever thing my intentions are anything but pure."

2. She doesn't understand why I have no trust in her. It's not because of her "evil" intentions that I can't trust her, yet because of her lack of "common sense." (As you can see in another thread and many other examples I havent mentioned.)

Nothing gets you bonus points with a girl like telling her that she lacks any semblance of common sense.

3. She thinks her guy "friends" are her true friends. (uhhh... sure)

I get along best with girls whom have good guy friends. It usually shows that they appreciate the same kind of friendships that I have with my guy friends.

4. She thinks I'm such a horrible boyfriend for being upset and getting worked up like this.

It is pretty sh!tty of you...

5. She CANNOT admit or realize that it was her mistake.

Well, it looks like you can't realize your mistakes, so who are you to criticize?

 

[maximus maximus]

In case you ever decide to break up with her, please do pass me her phone number.

 

[rhino56]

dump her and go on with life

 

[yllus]

Haha, you're one hell of a glutton for punishment. And a complete idiot.

Did I call this or what? She comes out strong to put you on the defensive, and like a sucker you take it. Sure, she's not cheating. The countdown continues...

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
WHY IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND DATING OTHER GUYS? ARE YOU ALLOWED TO DATE OTHER GIRLS?

 

[Al Neri]

dude, it will only get worse.

dump her.

it will hurt now, but you will feel great when you get over her.

Judging by

She thinks she's the perfect girlfriend and I dont appreciate that.

sets off a ton of red flags...one being she's self centered. she sounds like she is trouble, since a "perfect girlfriend" wouldn't have done something that upset you.


sorry ftl

 

[DaShen]

Didn't we tell you to act calmly!!!

Man, of man, now you are in for it.

 

[soccerballtux]

 

[soccerballtux]

Originally posted by: reverend boltron

Originally posted by: soccerballtux

OTOH, TIGAT.

I know what OTOH means, what does TIGAT mean?

That is good advice too.

But someone here posted about the OP being jealous...as if that were a bad thing here. This guy has spent three years of his life with this girl, and has most definitely already given his heart to her. He has a right to be jealous.

It you're in college and a girl goes to study with a guy in her class, it would be better to trust her if you think you can [for example, my friend was probably one of the most possessive/insecure guys about his girlfriend, and was very protective, but now he knows her well enough that he trusts her anywhere and wouldn't think twice about such a thing]. If you can trust her after three years, either you're doing something wrong in how you get to know this girl, or you already know this girl, and but are afraid to meet the repercussions if you acknowledge to yourself that this truth. My bet would be on the latter, because I know thats how I would be. When they are coming out so strong on you (how strong did you come out on her when you confronted her? If a simple question provoked such a response, then this would probably be her projecting on to you. She knows she's doing something wrong, and feels bad about it, but this is sorta sub-conscious, so she blames you of doing what she's afriad you'll catch her doing).

Best of luck to you friend, I hope you work it out.

 

[Kadarin]

From the OP's update:

Why she is mad:
1. She thinks I'm mad because I was jealous that she went out with some guys late.
2. She thinks I have no trust in her.
3. She thinks I'm doing this because I like to be in the "control."
4. She thinks it was perfectly okay to not to call me, because coming home late isn't something that big of a deal since she's done it many times before with me and her friends.
5. She hates the fact that I swear or hang up the phone when Im too fraustrated or mad.
6. She thinks she's the perfect girlfriend and I dont appreciate that.

She is setting you up for the "It's YOUR fault that I was cheating!" talk...

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
From the OP's update:

Why she is mad:
1. She thinks I'm mad because I was jealous that she went out with some guys late.
2. She thinks I have no trust in her.
3. She thinks I'm doing this because I like to be in the "control."
4. She thinks it was perfectly okay to not to call me, because coming home late isn't something that big of a deal since she's done it many times before with me and her friends.
5. She hates the fact that I swear or hang up the phone when Im too fraustrated or mad.
6. She thinks she's the perfect girlfriend and I dont appreciate that.

She is setting you up for the "It's YOUR fault that I was cheating!" talk...

So true. So, so, so true.

It's going exactly as predicted. She's absolutely setting up the "It's YOUR fault" talk. Should come in about 2 days.

 

[Iron Addict]

I just wrote her an email explaining things why our relationship won't work out if things are kept like this. I think i was more clear and to the point in that email than over the phone.

 

[DivideBYZero]

Originally posted by: Iron Addict
I just wrote her an email explaining things why our relationship won't work out if things are kept like this. I think i was more clear and to the point in that email than over the phone.

Cut and paste.

 

[Xylitol]

She was cheating on you
BS that her cell phone was going to die. Thats what lots of women say to get out of having to be talked by you.
Did you at least check if her cellphone was almost dead after she came back?

 

[slsmnaz]

Originally posted by: Iron Addict
I just wrote her an email explaining things why our relationship won't work out!

You should have stopped there but you are just headed downhill fast. It will not end pretty.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: Xylitol
She was cheating on you
BS that her cell phone was going to die. Thats what lots of women say to get out of having to be talked by you.
Did you at least check if her cellphone was almost dead after she came back?

read the thread

 

[mrzed]

Originally posted by: spidey07
Basically your GF is dating other guys to get you to break up with her.

That way she's not a bad person and feels good that you are the bad person that killed the relationship.

It's weird, but that is exactly what is going on in her mind. She's following the all too familiar path that EVERYBODY has been through.

Points for this one. Very likely scenario.

She is pushing you away, and waiting for you to push back. Regardless of what she's done, she's setting up the endgame.

I see two possibilities:

1. You are already in checkmate. It's over, and you just don't know it yet. She's waiting for you to have it out, and like Spidey says, it will be "your fault" it's over.

2. The game ends in a stalemate. You continue to alternate between freaking out on her in a non-constructive way, and pussing out when she calls you on it. Gradually your nuts shrink to the size of peas, and you no longer get angry with her when she stays out all night with another guy, you just rock yourself to sleep, sobbing.

Better number 1 than 2, because you can at least salvage some self-respect by ending it yourself. Also, number 2 will end everntually, because there are two things almost every woman hates, pussies and control freaks, and right now you are managing to be a bit of both at the same time.

No offense meant. It's not hard to get into your position, and it is hard to get out of it, but you'll just have to grow a bigger set of balls and pull yourself up by them.

 

[FP]

Op, honestly. Do you think you are the ONLY person who "knew 100% that their GF wasn't lying?" Everyone wants to think the best about someone they love but that doesn't make it true.

There is obviously something in this other guy that she likes otherwise why would she be so eager to hang out with him?

 

[IceBergSLiM]

<insert girlfriends name here>,

I appologize for over reacting last night it was not considerate of me to explode like that and not take into account your feelings on this issue. After some thought on the matter I think you are right and that we should be able to see other people. I have followed your lead and have plans to hang out with someone else tommorow night.

Again I apologize for over reacting and not seeing thigns your way.

Love,

<insert your name here>



email this to her. It will do one of two things. She'll come running back to you saying no no no thats not what I meant I'm stupid for goign out with that guy. Or she will be okay with it in which case it confirms what everyone else says that she is already cheating and/or on the way out.

send it and report back

 

[S Freud]

Ice do you really think he's going to send that? I commend your effort to just and get the OP's mancard back but I think that is long gone.

OP I was in a simmaliar situation not to long ago, you should read the thread of the guy that got fooled with his long distance, you're not even long distance, its happening right in front of your face and you completely ignore it. I don't know why people keep posting in here advice for you to leave, obviously you enjoy the abuse, why else would you stay?

Keep taking her crap and she'll keep giving it to you, continue to be her doormat and carry on with your "relationship."

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
<insert girlfriends name here>,

I appologize for over reacting last night it was not considerate of me to explode like that and not take into account your feelings on this issue. After some thought on the matter I think you are right and that we should be able to see other people. I have followed your lead and have plans to hang out with someone else tommorow night.

Again I apologize for over reacting and not seeing thigns your way.

Love,

<insert your name here>



email this to her. It will do one of two things. She'll come running back to you saying no no no thats not what I meant I'm stupid for goign out with that guy. Or she will be okay with it in which case it confirms what everyone else says that she is already cheating and/or on the way out.

send it and report back

uh, no...why say he's sorry for not taking into account her feelings when she didn't take into account his feelings? eevn after they had their talk about the issue last week?

 

[slsmnaz]

Originally posted by: binister
Op, honestly. Do you think you are the ONLY person who "knew 100% that their GF wasn't lying?" Everyone wants to think the best about someone they love but that doesn't make it true.

There is obviously something in this other guy that she likes otherwise why would she be so eager to hang out with him?

It happens and most on here are just giving you advice based on past experience. The key with this is not to become bitter about all women. There are still some great ones out there and all we're telling you is to go find one of those. This one does not seem to be worth the effort. Good luck to you.