Iron Addict
Senior member
Background: Girlfriend of 3 years of serious relationship went out with a guy friend and Im worried & upset.
She had ended her job interview at 4:20PM and called me saying, "I got done with my job interview and my friend xxxxx is gonna pick me up and hang out. My battery is really low and my phone's about to die. Bye." So, it's 11:31PM and it's been 7hours and 11minutes. Her phone is dead and she's not home yet. I have no way to contacting her since her cell is dead and I wonder what a girl and a guy could do for this long on a Tuesday. I'm worried and upset. I barely know this guy. Am i being unreasonable and should i act upset when who knows when she gets home? What should I do?!
Update #1
First, I'd like to say that she does not lie to me. Many of you would say that I'm a fool or blind, but I know it for a fact. She never lies to her parents or anybody, that's just how she is believe it or not. Second of all, she's a very rightous person where she's 100% convinced that she would not do wrong things and even if she did make a mistake since it was not her intention she thinks she's not at fault.
So, the story continues...
It seems she turned off her phone when it was on the verge of death cause she needed to use it in case she needed to call her family. She called me back on the way back but phone died right after. But, this is where I made the first mistake by saying, "WTF R U DOING?!" I could tell she was upset with what i said when she called me from home at 1:30AM. Then, we proceeded to have the "talk" for couple hours...
I don't think it's necessary to go into the details of the conversation but this is the general idea of what's wrong or not.
Why she is mad:
1. She thinks I'm mad because I was jealous that she went out with some guys late.
2. She thinks I have no trust in her.
3. She thinks I'm doing this because I like to be in the "control."
4. She thinks it was perfectly okay to not to call me, because coming home late isn't something that big of a deal since she's done it many times before with me and her friends.
5. She hates the fact that I swear or hang up the phone when Im too fraustrated or mad.
6. She thinks she's the perfect girlfriend and I dont appreciate that.
Why I am mad:
1. She does NOT understand why I was mad. I wasn't upset because I was jealous. I was upset cause I was so worried about her safety and well being.
2. She doesn't understand why I have no trust in her. It's not because of her "evil" intentions that I can't trust her, yet because of her lack of "common sense." (As you can see in another thread and many other examples I havent mentioned.)
3. She thinks her guy "friends" are her true friends. (uhhh... sure)
4. She thinks I'm such a horrible boyfriend for being upset and getting worked up like this.
5. She CANNOT admit or realize that it was her mistake.
I really wish I could be with my gf or even marry her in future. But, the part of her where she can't even see what she did wrong or admit her mistakes just pisses me off. This kind of problems will probably visit me again unless she's willing to open her mind and see her mistakes which probably wont happen. I dont know if I should break up with her or not as of now.
Update #2
We decided that we need to compromise to stay in our relationship and we arranged an agreement list of things when it comes to socializing with the opposite gender.
We've listed few things like no "1on1" date like settings, no giving phone numbers, introducing them first and etc. I guess I can be pretty satisfied as long as she acts accordingly.
Anything you guys think I should add to the list?
She had ended her job interview at 4:20PM and called me saying, "I got done with my job interview and my friend xxxxx is gonna pick me up and hang out. My battery is really low and my phone's about to die. Bye." So, it's 11:31PM and it's been 7hours and 11minutes. Her phone is dead and she's not home yet. I have no way to contacting her since her cell is dead and I wonder what a girl and a guy could do for this long on a Tuesday. I'm worried and upset. I barely know this guy. Am i being unreasonable and should i act upset when who knows when she gets home? What should I do?!
Update #1
First, I'd like to say that she does not lie to me. Many of you would say that I'm a fool or blind, but I know it for a fact. She never lies to her parents or anybody, that's just how she is believe it or not. Second of all, she's a very rightous person where she's 100% convinced that she would not do wrong things and even if she did make a mistake since it was not her intention she thinks she's not at fault.
So, the story continues...
It seems she turned off her phone when it was on the verge of death cause she needed to use it in case she needed to call her family. She called me back on the way back but phone died right after. But, this is where I made the first mistake by saying, "WTF R U DOING?!" I could tell she was upset with what i said when she called me from home at 1:30AM. Then, we proceeded to have the "talk" for couple hours...
I don't think it's necessary to go into the details of the conversation but this is the general idea of what's wrong or not.
Why she is mad:
1. She thinks I'm mad because I was jealous that she went out with some guys late.
2. She thinks I have no trust in her.
3. She thinks I'm doing this because I like to be in the "control."
4. She thinks it was perfectly okay to not to call me, because coming home late isn't something that big of a deal since she's done it many times before with me and her friends.
5. She hates the fact that I swear or hang up the phone when Im too fraustrated or mad.
6. She thinks she's the perfect girlfriend and I dont appreciate that.
Why I am mad:
1. She does NOT understand why I was mad. I wasn't upset because I was jealous. I was upset cause I was so worried about her safety and well being.
2. She doesn't understand why I have no trust in her. It's not because of her "evil" intentions that I can't trust her, yet because of her lack of "common sense." (As you can see in another thread and many other examples I havent mentioned.)
3. She thinks her guy "friends" are her true friends. (uhhh... sure)
4. She thinks I'm such a horrible boyfriend for being upset and getting worked up like this.
5. She CANNOT admit or realize that it was her mistake.
I really wish I could be with my gf or even marry her in future. But, the part of her where she can't even see what she did wrong or admit her mistakes just pisses me off. This kind of problems will probably visit me again unless she's willing to open her mind and see her mistakes which probably wont happen. I dont know if I should break up with her or not as of now.
Update #2
We decided that we need to compromise to stay in our relationship and we arranged an agreement list of things when it comes to socializing with the opposite gender.
We've listed few things like no "1on1" date like settings, no giving phone numbers, introducing them first and etc. I guess I can be pretty satisfied as long as she acts accordingly.
Anything you guys think I should add to the list?
