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YAGT: so is this wrong?

S

slackerinabox

Lifer
So I was really bored the other night and replied to an online personal.. Now I currently have a gf that I adore and was really just looking for a penpal.. I sent a message to this girl because I thought her profile was very, very funny... Well, anyways, she's in a relationship too and I made it clear that I am.. I'm not trying to cheat or do anything devious but I feel bad..... It's been great chatting with her but I feel crappy cause this is all behind my gf's back.. Oddly, she wants to meet my GF but I feel weird mentioning her to my gf because of the way we met.. So is this wrong? I'm only posting this picbecause I know everyone will ask.. And, no, I refuse to post one of my gf...
 
Wow she's pretty cute for an online personal...

I think I'll be the first to mention this this time around 😉

Dude...two chicks at the same time...
 
Theres nothing wrong with making new friends in todays world. How many times do you just say hi to people or conversate with the person in the elevator? You don't anymore.......people tend to shy away from other people...
 
Why does she have an ad in the personals if she has a b/f? Does she want a penpal as well?

Although I wouldn't consider it bad, she may. It says a lot about your relationship when you're doing stuff behind your g/f's back.
 
Originally posted by: TechnoKid
Theres nothing wrong with making new friends in todays world. How many times do you just say hi to people or conversate with the person in the elevator? You don't anymore.......people tend to shy away from other people...
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Good angle.. I agree with you.. Especially in NYC, traditional methods of meeting friends don't worK.. I was honestly going to reply to guys if they had cool profiles.. You're right..
 
its only wrong if you think it is. if you cant talk to your girl about it, thats probably a signal that you may be trying to run something slightly sinister.
 
Originally posted by: Ranger X
Why does she have an ad in the personals if she has a b/f? Does she want a penpal as well?

Although I wouldn't consider it bad, she may. It says a lot about your relationship when you're doing stuff behind your g/f's back.
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Well, it's not really a personal- there's choices.. "I'm looking for a) a relationship b) friendship c) an activity partner".. she was looking for a male or female friend, as was I..
 
Originally posted by: PatboyX
its only wrong if you think it is. if you cant talk to your girl about it, thats probably a signal that you may be trying to run something slightly sinister.
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yea, i agree... if you don't think there is anything wrong with it, just introduce your gf to her and you can all be friends together
 
Originally posted by: PatboyX
its only wrong if you think it is. if you cant talk to your girl about it, thats probably a signal that you may be trying to run something slightly sinister.
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I really have no problem saying "hey hon, I met a cool girl that I think we should have dinner with sometimes".. it's just the online aspect of it that I'm worried about..
 
Originally posted by: PatboyX
its only wrong if you think it is. if you cant talk to your girl about it, thats probably a signal that you may be trying to run something slightly sinister.
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Or he's afraid his g/f will take it badly.

How would he feel if his g/f answered a guy's personal ad in similar fashion?
 
I don't see anything wrong except the fact that you haven't told your girl. The longer you wait the worse it will look.
 
Originally posted by: Kaiser__Sose
dude.. she is nothing nice.. truss me.. i'd say a 3 or 4 at most...
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I wasn't asking you to rate her.. I think she's cute but not my cup of tea.. but she's freaking hilarious and a member of a comedy troop .. so, yeah, I don't want to date her.. so her looks are not the point
 
Originally posted by: CaseTragedy
were you only looking for girls to become penpals with?
if it wasn't exclusively girls--then whats the problem?
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Nope, it wasn't exclusively girls.. But how do I explain this to my gf, especially since the girl lives a town away and invited both of us to a comedy show? why do I get myself into these situations? Really, I think my gf would adore her but I know the first question is going to be "what the fvck where you doing on an online personals site??!"
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: CaseTragedy
were you only looking for girls to become penpals with?
if it wasn't exclusively girls--then whats the problem?
Click to expand...

Nope, it wasn't exclusively girls.. But how do I explain this to my gf, especially since the girl lives a town away and invited both of us to a comedy show? why do I get myself into these situations? Really, I think my gf would adore her but I know the first question is going to be "what the fvck where you doing on an online personals site??!"
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find a guy friend also. then she won't suspect much.
 
Originally posted by: CaseTragedy
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: CaseTragedy
were you only looking for girls to become penpals with?
if it wasn't exclusively girls--then whats the problem?
Click to expand...

Nope, it wasn't exclusively girls.. But how do I explain this to my gf, especially since the girl lives a town away and invited both of us to a comedy show? why do I get myself into these situations? Really, I think my gf would adore her but I know the first question is going to be "what the fvck where you doing on an online personals site??!"
Click to expand...
find a guy friend also. then she won't suspect much.
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Actually, as "gay" as that sounds, it's a great idea... Thanks, I wouldn't have thought about that even though it makes sense..
 
There is nothing wrong with talking with her, but I wouldn't keep it going to long to the point where you're calling each other since you've never met before and then some day go out someplace together. Thats where the problem will start, otherwise, just being friends with her and having a penpal should be fine.
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: CaseTragedy
were you only looking for girls to become penpals with?
if it wasn't exclusively girls--then whats the problem?
Click to expand...

Nope, it wasn't exclusively girls.. But how do I explain this to my gf, especially since the girl lives a town away and invited both of us to a comedy show? why do I get myself into these situations? Really, I think my gf would adore her but I know the first question is going to be "what the fvck where you doing on an online personals site??!"
Click to expand...

i dunno i guess i'm dumb like this, but i would just tell her the truth... bored and looking to find a penpal. sure she might think you were doing something more devious, but oh well, it was the truth... like i said i'm dumb and reckless like that tho, might not be your cup of tea.

or you could just lie and tell her that your "friend" found her first and showed her site to you because it was so funny
 
Tell your GF what happened in the same manner as your OP, i.e. openly and honestly. If she gives you heat about looking around at online personals, just tell her you were bored, that your only intention was to kill boredom, that you feel kinda weird about it, and reassure her that you adore her. If she trusts you, I don't imagine it should be any problem. Good luck.
 
Originally posted by: Spac3d
I figure only more lying will get you in more trouble.
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I don't want to lie nor will I.. but I'll try to find a male friend from the service as well just to be clear that I'm just looking for people in general.. saying it is one thing but having lunch with someone is different.
 
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