OK...so the love of my life has moved back to my town....and I am leaving the country in about 2 months.
She currently has a boyfriend, though they have just begun the LongDistance attempt at their 3 month old relationship. According to her, they are becoming closer, but it isn't anything too serious.
Ever since she moved back we have been talking a couple times a day on the phone to each other. She calls me when she wakes up (we talk for an hour or so), and I call her before I go to sleep at night (again we talk for a long time) .
We talk about a lot of things, but most of the time I am just wating patiently to slip in to a conversation about US. We have approached topics like marriage (apparently she still considers me the only candidate...at least right now) , and sex (pretty hot and heavy stuff), basically we talk about everything. For those of you who have been, or are in, love you know what it's like to feel totaly open and exposed to someone whom you trust....it feels incredible.
Anyhow, I am day-by-day losing my ability to control my emotions. I just love this girls so much that it is really starting to hurt.
I know that I am leaving...we have talked about how things would be different if I wasnt....but I am.
I know she is afraid to be alone, and I don't want to start something and have to leave her so soon, only to be alone for 6 months.
She is also very unsure that I will not change my mond about how I feel for her when I get to Israel.
But everyday we still talk and carry on like were are just the best of friends. But even though I think of her as my best friend, I cant help but feel hurt when I think of her and her boyfriend together.
Maybe she is playing me for a fool. Maybe I am just some backup guy she holds on too when her BF isn't around.
So I am really considering just breaking it ALL off with her. Even though I leave for Israel August 1st, I don't know if I can handle 2+ months of this torture.
But if I tell her I cant talk to her anymore she wont understand. And she will tell me I have no right to try and be with her, when I am leaving so soon.
I don't want to hurt her ... but I am really starting to hurt myself.
I know a lot of you will say to dump this girl. You will say that I should be concerned with my own emotions over hers. But I argue that this is what Love is ! Love is when you are willing to sacrifice for someone. Being willing to put their well-being over your own.
Right ??
So whats the advice for today ATOT ? Hurt her , or hurt me ?
She currently has a boyfriend, though they have just begun the LongDistance attempt at their 3 month old relationship. According to her, they are becoming closer, but it isn't anything too serious.
Ever since she moved back we have been talking a couple times a day on the phone to each other. She calls me when she wakes up (we talk for an hour or so), and I call her before I go to sleep at night (again we talk for a long time) .
We talk about a lot of things, but most of the time I am just wating patiently to slip in to a conversation about US. We have approached topics like marriage (apparently she still considers me the only candidate...at least right now) , and sex (pretty hot and heavy stuff), basically we talk about everything. For those of you who have been, or are in, love you know what it's like to feel totaly open and exposed to someone whom you trust....it feels incredible.
Anyhow, I am day-by-day losing my ability to control my emotions. I just love this girls so much that it is really starting to hurt.
I know that I am leaving...we have talked about how things would be different if I wasnt....but I am.
I know she is afraid to be alone, and I don't want to start something and have to leave her so soon, only to be alone for 6 months.
She is also very unsure that I will not change my mond about how I feel for her when I get to Israel.
But everyday we still talk and carry on like were are just the best of friends. But even though I think of her as my best friend, I cant help but feel hurt when I think of her and her boyfriend together.
Maybe she is playing me for a fool. Maybe I am just some backup guy she holds on too when her BF isn't around.
So I am really considering just breaking it ALL off with her. Even though I leave for Israel August 1st, I don't know if I can handle 2+ months of this torture.
But if I tell her I cant talk to her anymore she wont understand. And she will tell me I have no right to try and be with her, when I am leaving so soon.
I don't want to hurt her ... but I am really starting to hurt myself.
I know a lot of you will say to dump this girl. You will say that I should be concerned with my own emotions over hers. But I argue that this is what Love is ! Love is when you are willing to sacrifice for someone. Being willing to put their well-being over your own.
Right ??
So whats the advice for today ATOT ? Hurt her , or hurt me ?