YAGT: Should I be putting myself through this ?

[polm]

OK...so the love of my life has moved back to my town....and I am leaving the country in about 2 months.

She currently has a boyfriend, though they have just begun the LongDistance attempt at their 3 month old relationship. According to her, they are becoming closer, but it isn't anything too serious.

Ever since she moved back we have been talking a couple times a day on the phone to each other. She calls me when she wakes up (we talk for an hour or so), and I call her before I go to sleep at night (again we talk for a long time) .

We talk about a lot of things, but most of the time I am just wating patiently to slip in to a conversation about US. We have approached topics like marriage (apparently she still considers me the only candidate...at least right now) , and sex (pretty hot and heavy stuff), basically we talk about everything. For those of you who have been, or are in, love you know what it's like to feel totaly open and exposed to someone whom you trust....it feels incredible.

Anyhow, I am day-by-day losing my ability to control my emotions. I just love this girls so much that it is really starting to hurt.

I know that I am leaving...we have talked about how things would be different if I wasnt....but I am.

I know she is afraid to be alone, and I don't want to start something and have to leave her so soon, only to be alone for 6 months.

She is also very unsure that I will not change my mond about how I feel for her when I get to Israel.

But everyday we still talk and carry on like were are just the best of friends. But even though I think of her as my best friend, I cant help but feel hurt when I think of her and her boyfriend together.

Maybe she is playing me for a fool. Maybe I am just some backup guy she holds on too when her BF isn't around.

So I am really considering just breaking it ALL off with her. Even though I leave for Israel August 1st, I don't know if I can handle 2+ months of this torture.

But if I tell her I cant talk to her anymore she wont understand. And she will tell me I have no right to try and be with her, when I am leaving so soon.

I don't want to hurt her ... but I am really starting to hurt myself.

I know a lot of you will say to dump this girl. You will say that I should be concerned with my own emotions over hers. But I argue that this is what Love is ! Love is when you are willing to sacrifice for someone. Being willing to put their well-being over your own.

Right ??

So whats the advice for today ATOT ? Hurt her , or hurt me ?

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Go tell her how you feel. You need closure. You're obviously not over this girl.

- M4H

 

[Aquaman]

WTF.......... you still thinking about this :Q

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[ndee]

Go to Israel, if you come back, marry her. If she's really your soulmate, she'd wait for you.

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: polm
OK...so the love of my life has moved back to my town....and I am leaving the country in about 2 months.

She currently has a boyfriend, though they have just begun the LongDistance attempt at their 3 month old relationship. According to her, they are becoming closer, but it isn't anything too serious.

Ever since she moved back we have been talking a couple times a day on the phone to each other. She calls me when she wakes up (we talk for an hour or so), and I call her before I go to sleep at night (again we talk for a long time) .

We talk about a lot of things, but most of the time I am just wating patiently to slip in to a conversation about US. We have approached topics like marriage (apparently she still considers me the only candidate...at least right now) , and sex (pretty hot and heavy stuff), basically we talk about everything. For those of you who have been, or are in, love you know what it's like to feel totaly open and exposed to someone whom you trust....it feels incredible.

Anyhow, I am day-by-day losing my ability to control my emotions. I just love this girls so much that it is really starting to hurt.

I know that I am leaving...we have talked about how things would be different if I wasnt....but I am.

I know she is afraid to be alone, and I don't want to start something and have to leave her so soon, only to be alone for 6 months.

She is also very unsure that I will not change my mond about how I feel for her when I get to Israel.

But everyday we still talk and carry on like were are just the best of friends. But even though I think of her as my best friend, I cant help but feel hurt when I think of her and her boyfriend together.

Maybe she is playing me for a fool. Maybe I am just some backup guy she holds on too when her BF isn't around.

So I am really considering just breaking it ALL off with her. Even though I leave for Israel August 1st, I don't know if I can handle 2+ months of this torture.

But if I tell her I cant talk to her anymore she wont understand. And she will tell me I have no right to try and be with her, when I am leaving so soon.

I don't want to hurt her ... but I am really starting to hurt myself.

I know a lot of you will say to dump this girl. You will say that I should be concerned with my own emotions over hers. But I argue that this is what Love is ! Love is when you are willing to sacrifice for someone. Being willing to put their well-being over your own.

Right ??

So whats the advice for today ATOT ? Hurt her , or hurt me ?

You know how Hot Deals has an instructions sticky at the top of the forum? OT needs something to the tune of "If you're going to post your pathetic girl problems on the internet, follow the instructions given to all the other talentless nothings and go for it."

Just marry her. Make babies.

 

[Zombie]

hmm, wasn't there a issue about how she is still talking to her longdistance BF? or am I just confusing you with somebody else?

oh yeh you need to move on.

 

[dabuddha]

Dude why are you even still talking to this girl? What was the reason you guys broke it off in the first place?

 

[ndee]

Originally posted by: Hoober

Originally posted by: polm
OK...so the love of my life has moved back to my town....and I am leaving the country in about 2 months.

She currently has a boyfriend, though they have just begun the LongDistance attempt at their 3 month old relationship. According to her, they are becoming closer, but it isn't anything too serious.

Ever since she moved back we have been talking a couple times a day on the phone to each other. She calls me when she wakes up (we talk for an hour or so), and I call her before I go to sleep at night (again we talk for a long time) .

We talk about a lot of things, but most of the time I am just wating patiently to slip in to a conversation about US. We have approached topics like marriage (apparently she still considers me the only candidate...at least right now) , and sex (pretty hot and heavy stuff), basically we talk about everything. For those of you who have been, or are in, love you know what it's like to feel totaly open and exposed to someone whom you trust....it feels incredible.

Anyhow, I am day-by-day losing my ability to control my emotions. I just love this girls so much that it is really starting to hurt.

I know that I am leaving...we have talked about how things would be different if I wasnt....but I am.

I know she is afraid to be alone, and I don't want to start something and have to leave her so soon, only to be alone for 6 months.

She is also very unsure that I will not change my mond about how I feel for her when I get to Israel.

But everyday we still talk and carry on like were are just the best of friends. But even though I think of her as my best friend, I cant help but feel hurt when I think of her and her boyfriend together.

Maybe she is playing me for a fool. Maybe I am just some backup guy she holds on too when her BF isn't around.

So I am really considering just breaking it ALL off with her. Even though I leave for Israel August 1st, I don't know if I can handle 2+ months of this torture.

But if I tell her I cant talk to her anymore she wont understand. And she will tell me I have no right to try and be with her, when I am leaving so soon.

I don't want to hurt her ... but I am really starting to hurt myself.

I know a lot of you will say to dump this girl. You will say that I should be concerned with my own emotions over hers. But I argue that this is what Love is ! Love is when you are willing to sacrifice for someone. Being willing to put their well-being over your own.

Right ??

So whats the advice for today ATOT ? Hurt her , or hurt me ?

You know how Hot Deals has an instructions sticky at the top of the forum? OT needs something to the tune of "If you're going to post your pathetic girl problems on the internet, follow the instructions given to all the other talentless nothings and go for it."

Just marry her. Make babies.

lol, somehow true. This forums looks like the Lost-Love-forum.

 

[polm]

just go for it ??

I don't know what I am going for !!

There isn't anything to acheive . She can't be with me right now, and I can't be with her.

The question is...should I put myself through the torture of keeping her in my life ?

 

[pyonir]

Text

I suggest reading the responses that thread...and the thread you linked to in your first post of said thread.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: dabuddha
Dude why are you even still talking to this girl? What was the reason you guys broke it off in the first place?

LongDistance realtionships are hard on the heart. We broke up when she had to move away for college.

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: ndee

Originally posted by: Hoober

Originally posted by: polm
OK...so the love of my life has moved back to my town....and I am leaving the country in about 2 months.

She currently has a boyfriend, though they have just begun the LongDistance attempt at their 3 month old relationship. According to her, they are becoming closer, but it isn't anything too serious.

Ever since she moved back we have been talking a couple times a day on the phone to each other. She calls me when she wakes up (we talk for an hour or so), and I call her before I go to sleep at night (again we talk for a long time) .

We talk about a lot of things, but most of the time I am just wating patiently to slip in to a conversation about US. We have approached topics like marriage (apparently she still considers me the only candidate...at least right now) , and sex (pretty hot and heavy stuff), basically we talk about everything. For those of you who have been, or are in, love you know what it's like to feel totaly open and exposed to someone whom you trust....it feels incredible.

Anyhow, I am day-by-day losing my ability to control my emotions. I just love this girls so much that it is really starting to hurt.

I know that I am leaving...we have talked about how things would be different if I wasnt....but I am.

I know she is afraid to be alone, and I don't want to start something and have to leave her so soon, only to be alone for 6 months.

She is also very unsure that I will not change my mond about how I feel for her when I get to Israel.

But everyday we still talk and carry on like were are just the best of friends. But even though I think of her as my best friend, I cant help but feel hurt when I think of her and her boyfriend together.

Maybe she is playing me for a fool. Maybe I am just some backup guy she holds on too when her BF isn't around.

So I am really considering just breaking it ALL off with her. Even though I leave for Israel August 1st, I don't know if I can handle 2+ months of this torture.

But if I tell her I cant talk to her anymore she wont understand. And she will tell me I have no right to try and be with her, when I am leaving so soon.

I don't want to hurt her ... but I am really starting to hurt myself.

I know a lot of you will say to dump this girl. You will say that I should be concerned with my own emotions over hers. But I argue that this is what Love is ! Love is when you are willing to sacrifice for someone. Being willing to put their well-being over your own.

Right ??

So whats the advice for today ATOT ? Hurt her , or hurt me ?

You know how Hot Deals has an instructions sticky at the top of the forum? OT needs something to the tune of "If you're going to post your pathetic girl problems on the internet, follow the instructions given to all the other talentless nothings and go for it."

Just marry her. Make babies.

lol, somehow true. This forums looks like the Lost-Love-forum.

I suppose we could petition for a rename. "Lost loves in the backseat of cars" forum.

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: polm
just go for it ??

I don't know what I am going for !!

There isn't anything to acheive . She can't be with me right now, and I can't be with her.

The question is...should I put myself through the torture of keeping her in my life ?

Wait, explain to me again why she can't be with you?

Follow these instructions carefully:

1) She dumps boyfriend

2) Elope to Vegas

3) Get married with Elvis present

4) Move to Israel

5) Make babies

6) Have her learn how to speak with that undeniably sexy accent they have over there

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: pyonir
Text

I suggest reading the responses that thread...and the thread you linked to in your first post of said thread.

look I know this thread SEEMS similiar to the others..but it is different.

I took yawls advice before and I told her how I felt . We discussed it, and realized it is just too hard on us to try and be in a relationship with all the distnace that has been, and will be between us. At least right now.

The only difference is, that she is VERY comfortable being my friend and talking ever day.

I am not...I am starting to feel hurt doing this.

So I need to know if I should just suck up the pain and keep talking to her (which will keep her smiling), or cut it off and start to move on with my life.

 

[ndee]

Originally posted by: Hoober

Originally posted by: polm
just go for it ??

I don't know what I am going for !!

There isn't anything to acheive . She can't be with me right now, and I can't be with her.

The question is...should I put myself through the torture of keeping her in my life ?

Wait, explain to me again why she can't be with you?

Follow these instructions carefully:

1) She dumps boyfriend

2) Elope to Vegas

3) Get married with Elvis present

4) Move to Israel

5) Make babies

6) Have her learn how to speak with that undeniably sexy accent they have over there

looooooooooool

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: pyonir
Text

I suggest reading the responses that thread...and the thread you linked to in your first post of said thread.

look I know this thread SEEMS similiar to the others..but it is different.

I took yawls advice before and I told her how I felt . We discussed it, and realized it is just too hard on us to try and be in a relationship with all the distnace that has been, and will be between us. At least right now.

The only difference is, that she is VERY comfortable being my friend and talking ever day.

I am not...I am starting to feel hurt doing this.

So I need to know if I should just suck up the pain and keep talking to her (which will keep her smiling), or cut it off and start to move on with my life.

What happened to option number 3? If you're the only one she wants to marry, then why not get married?

 

[chin311]

talk to her, and see whats up.

i think i've experienced something similiar to what your going thru, and TRUST me, its not worth the pain, and it doesnt do neone any good.

either she'll wanna be with you (regardless of you leaving) or she'll wanna be "FRIENDS" (ahh the trap) and still be w/ her b/f.

hope it worx out :\

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: polm
or cut it off and start to move on with my life.

That one. I've been in this situation (not leaving to another country though). Easiest just to move on.

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: pyonir

Originally posted by: polm
or cut it off and start to move on with my life.

That one. I've been in this situation (not leaving to another country though). Easiest just to move on.

Except that he didn't move on the first time. How's he going to be able to now? It would be a tragedy to pass up true love (if it's even possible).

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: Hoober

Except that he didn't move on the first time. How's he going to be able to now? It would be a tragedy to pass up true love (if it's even possible).

He has true love. Obviously she doesn't. If it was true love, she would wait for him to come back from Israel and be together.

As it stands she is dating someone else and says if he wasn't leaving, things would be different. How convenient.

 

[Zombie]

look I know this thread SEEMS similiar to the others..but it is different.

I took yawls advice before and I told her how I felt . We discussed it, and realized it is just too hard on us to try and be in a relationship with all the distnace that has been, and will be between us. At least right now.

The only difference is, that she is VERY comfortable being my friend and talking ever day.

I am not...I am starting to feel hurt doing this.

So I need to know if I should just suck up the pain and keep talking to her (which will keep her smiling), or cut it off and start to move on with my life.

If I were a violent man and I knew where you lived I would bitchslap you for being so stupid. If you can't handle it stop talking to her. How much simpler can it be?

Who cares if she smiles or not after that.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: Hoober

Originally posted by: pyonir

Originally posted by: polm
or cut it off and start to move on with my life.

That one. I've been in this situation (not leaving to another country though). Easiest just to move on.

Except that he didn't move on the first time. How's he going to be able to now? It would be a tragedy to pass up true love (if it's even possible).

your right Hoober, I have tried this before. I can't get over this girl. She won't let go of me...I can't let go of her.

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: polm
She won't let go of me...

Because she knows you'll sit there like a lap dog waiting for her if she ever runs into problems with her current b/f and wants to bail.

WAKE UP.

 

[Spac3d]

Who cares if she has a bf? Go for it.

 

[polm]

I think you are right, pyonir.