• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

YAGT : Relationship issues.

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
Look man, your the "nice guy". She doesn't want to date you, but she knows she can keep you semi strung along in case she changes her mind. I say do a total 180 on her regarding your personality. No more calls, don't take any either for awhile, and just let her show you how interested, or not interested, she is. I'm not saying play games with her, but at this point you're coming across as the chaser.

I can almost gaurentee you that if she's at all interested, and you do what I tell you to, she'll be in your bed in a week.

Honestly though, you gotta face the reality that it probably ain't gonna happen.

You're in a sh1tty spot because you want to believe her and she's feeding you "good excuses" for her behavior and lack of interest, but there's a point where you have to listen to actions over words. IF she were interested she'd make time for you, especially before you leave for 4 weeks......to say otherwise is just pure bullsh1t.

One of two things is happening here:

1. Either she's never going to go any further with this and knows that it will never happen and she's just being apathetic about (likely telling herself she's letting you down gently and praising herself for being "nice") until you move on.

The problem with this is you seem like a "clinger", so if this theory is true she'll eventually just get tired of you "patiently waiting" and get nasty towards you.

or

2. she is just scared about the prospect of dating and is too messed up in the head to know what she wants. With this there's more hope, because there's always a chance she'll figure it out and you'll be fine, but odds are it's #1.

Sorry dude. Find some new tail and ignore this one, I gaurentee she'll come calling at some point.
 
Dude, she plays you for a fool. Just move on with your life. I am sure you will find somebody later on. 26 is still too young to worry about this kind of stuffs.
 
Hm. I say give it up. Use some common sense you dummy. If she really liked you, she wouldn't be giving you the runaround. You got pwned. Time to go out and have some fun you pwned virgin fool.
 
Tell her if she can't make time for you you're not going to waste your time having a relationship over the phone. "Make the ho say no" as they say. She either wants you or she doesn't. If she only wants you as an occasional play thing, she won't give a sh1t and be cool with breaking whatever you have off. Conversly, she'll grovel at your feet and start seeing you more if she actually cares. If she has time to sleep and eat, she has time to see you. 😛
 
Here is my problem. I somehow feel that she is not serious about me (though she says she is). I am very very understanding and I have never been rude to her. Though she stood me up on the date for 5-6 times, I have never let that come in the way of my feelings.
Click to expand...

If you don't have enough respect for yourself to tell her that isn't acceptable, then you can't expect her to have enough respect for you to find you desirable.

Women do not want a doormat.
 
The problem here is you are inexperienced and hoping to get some hot MILF action, so you hang on and wait. Trust me, if a girl is really interested... you wouldn't need to run here to ask.

Move on. Stop calling her as much or at all... let her chase you. If she doesn't chase, then you never had a chance.
 
Your story reaks of "side action". buy a big van with tinted windows and park it ouside her house, make sure shes not seeing any other guys. if any guys do arrive at her house, follow them home and then murder them in thier sleep.
 
She has no plans in having this relationship go anywhere. You are her doormat with your only purpose being to make her feel better about herself. She'll keep you around because she knows you'll stay around.
Shes older than you and is raising a kid as a single mom. This alone could be enough of a reason to stop seeing her, but as you said your a nice guy. Being stood up that many times is a clear sign to end it though. If that doesnt deter you, what will?

Now being 26, a virgin, and girlfriendless is a bit worrying (i'm guessing you just studied from middle school through college? Because in highschool its easy as hell)
But your still young enough to change your social life, if you so choose.
And you have plenty of time till your an old man.
You have a vacation coming up hopefully you'll be going to a place with a lot of women and booze. I say if your really worried about not being with anyone at 26 you'll make it happen. Put all your fears behind you and just go for it man. Even if you fail you'll learn everything each time you do. You wont regret it.

Love ,
The non single non virgin white dude in HS.


P.S Yes the girls at my school have to wear the classic catholic school girl uniform

 
Originally posted by: maximus maximus
Originally posted by: waggy
well i would dump her. i can't stand being stood up UNLESS there is a emergancy. while i am a ugly MFer i had good luck when i was single. I have the confidance i would be able to find a women who respected me enough to not stand me up.
Click to expand...

My friends also adviced me the same. She is the first girl that I am dating.
I am afraid that I may not find someone else, if I let go of her. 🙁
Click to expand...

I remember I thought the same way about my ex.

 
Either
A) She's stringing you along, playing games for some reason or
B) She really had reasons to stand you up 5-6 times. I don't care what the reasons are, 5 times in a row? Forget it. Also, if it keeps working out so that both your schedules preclude being able to see each other at all, much less reguarly, it's not worth either of your time in maintaining.
 
I have a strong suspicion you've been giving her money. She clearly doesn't like you much or have much respect for you. So the reason she keeps talking to you has to be because of things you're giving her or because you make her feel better about herself because she can treat you like sh!t and you'll keep coming back for more.
 
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Look man, your the "nice guy". She doesn't want to date you, but she knows she can keep you semi strung along in case she changes her mind. I say do a total 180 on her regarding your personality. No more calls, don't take any either for awhile, and just let her show you how interested, or not interested, she is. I'm not saying play games with her, but at this point you're coming across as the chaser.

I can almost gaurentee you that if she's at all interested, and you do what I tell you to, she'll be in your bed in a week.

Honestly though, you gotta face the reality that it probably ain't gonna happen.

You're in a sh1tty spot because you want to believe her and she's feeding you "good excuses" for her behavior and lack of interest, but there's a point where you have to listen to actions over words. IF she were interested she'd make time for you, especially before you leave for 4 weeks......to say otherwise is just pure bullsh1t.

One of two things is happening here:

1. Either she's never going to go any further with this and knows that it will never happen and she's just being apathetic about (likely telling herself she's letting you down gently and praising herself for being "nice") until you move on.

The problem with this is you seem like a "clinger", so if this theory is true she'll eventually just get tired of you "patiently waiting" and get nasty towards you.

or

2. she is just scared about the prospect of dating and is too messed up in the head to know what she wants. With this there's more hope, because there's always a chance she'll figure it out and you'll be fine, but odds are it's #1.

Sorry dude. Find some new tail and ignore this one, I gaurentee she'll come calling at some point.
Click to expand...

That is a nice piece of advice. I am not going to take her calls anymore. I need to stand up for myself.

Here is what I am going to say to her.

"I know that your kid and your job mean a lot to you in life, but all I am asking for is a little love and attention from you. It looks like you have a lot going on in your life right now and I understand that it must be difficult for you to juggle with so many different things.

So until things settle down in your life, let us go our own ways. I think it will do good for both of us."
 
Originally posted by: yowolabi
I have a strong suspicion you've been giving her money. She clearly doesn't like you much or have much respect for you. So the reason she keeps talking to you has to be because of things you're giving her or because you make her feel better about herself because she can treat you like sh!t and you'll keep coming back for more.
Click to expand...

No money involved...
 
Sorry to say she is stringing you along. As much as you like her, she's giving you scraps. If she was really in to you she would make time.

Chalk this one up to lesson learned and move on.
 
Do this if you want her to get her more interested. 1.) Act like you don't give a fvck about what happens between the two of you. 2.) When she calls don't answer immediately, wait 30 minutes to an hour and then call her back and be like, "did you call me or something?". Basically, your main objective is trying not to seem too desperate because it'll turn a woman off right away. The moment she senses she is losing your interest she will make an attempt to pay more attention to you to "win" you back, unless she in no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with you.
 
Originally posted by: maximus maximus
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Look man, your the "nice guy". She doesn't want to date you, but she knows she can keep you semi strung along in case she changes her mind. I say do a total 180 on her regarding your personality. No more calls, don't take any either for awhile, and just let her show you how interested, or not interested, she is. I'm not saying play games with her, but at this point you're coming across as the chaser.

I can almost gaurentee you that if she's at all interested, and you do what I tell you to, she'll be in your bed in a week.

Honestly though, you gotta face the reality that it probably ain't gonna happen.

You're in a sh1tty spot because you want to believe her and she's feeding you "good excuses" for her behavior and lack of interest, but there's a point where you have to listen to actions over words. IF she were interested she'd make time for you, especially before you leave for 4 weeks......to say otherwise is just pure bullsh1t.

One of two things is happening here:

1. Either she's never going to go any further with this and knows that it will never happen and she's just being apathetic about (likely telling herself she's letting you down gently and praising herself for being "nice") until you move on.

The problem with this is you seem like a "clinger", so if this theory is true she'll eventually just get tired of you "patiently waiting" and get nasty towards you.

or

2. she is just scared about the prospect of dating and is too messed up in the head to know what she wants. With this there's more hope, because there's always a chance she'll figure it out and you'll be fine, but odds are it's #1.

Sorry dude. Find some new tail and ignore this one, I gaurentee she'll come calling at some point.
Click to expand...

That is a nice piece of advice. I am not going to take her calls anymore. I need to stand up for myself.

Here is what I am going to say to her.

"I know that your kid and your job mean a lot to you in life, but all I am asking for is a little love and attention from you. It looks like you have a lot going on in your life right now and I understand that it must be difficult for you to juggle with so many different things.

So until things settle down in your life, let us go our own ways. I think it will do good for both of us."
Click to expand...

You can always jsut say your looking to have a relationship with somone who is able to devote more time to you, or somthing along your lines. I'm just saying that because "but all I am asking for is a little love and attention from you" might lead her to make promises she cant keep.

In any case good luck. You dont deserve this.
 
Thanks for all the wonderful advice guys.
I was hoping to get some insight from the women on ATOT... What did I do wrong? Why do nice guys always get screwed?
 
Originally posted by: maximus maximus
Thanks for all the wonderful advice guys.
I was hoping to get some insight from the women on ATOT... What did I do wrong? Why do nice guys always get screwed?
Click to expand...

Because "nice guys" are push-overs that are easy to take advantage of.
 
Originally posted by: maximus maximus
Thanks for all the wonderful advice guys.
I was hoping to get some insight from the women on ATOT... What did I do wrong? Why do nice guys always get screwed?
Click to expand...

There's a difference between being nice and being a lapdog. You have to stand up for yourself if you want to be treated with any amount of respect. You can't let people walk all over you.
 
That's what you did wrong, you allowed her to make fool of ya. Probably she too notices you are virgin. And she is bitch, move on.

I can't believe you would let somebody stood up on you 6 times. One stood up is enough bad sign that dating withthat person is not repairable. That should be your guide, the moment she disrespects you it means she owns you.

ADVICE: Visit a hooker.

EDIT2. Dude you're not in relationship.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top