- Jan 9, 2001
- 7,572
- 2
- 76
I cut back on YAGTs for some time, but I need to vent my thoughts somehow, thanks for bearing with me:
I've been dating my girlfriend for just under a year now. It's been amazing, the best time of my life, really. We were sort of one of those "jointed at the hip" couples that did nearly everything together. But about a month ago (little less), changes started happening. She seemed distant, less affectionate, no longer as excited to see me or hear from me. I don't know how to describe it really, but there was just no excitement in her eyes anymore. We talked about it, and for a short while everything was good again. The excitement was back, and I thought "rough patch conquered."
Not too long later though, she went back to seeming distant, etc, and seemed to be just much less eager to see me. Now see, there's this guy (you knew this was coming), we'll call him Bob. Bob and my gf were good friends as really little kids, and somehow they struck up conversation again and began hanging out. I met him recently, here's the story with that: She and I hung out one day, then a buddy of mine came out to see a concert that evening. He and I went to the concert, she said she didn't really feel up to going, just wanted some "alone time" to get some work done and whatnot. I went to the concert with my friend, and she picked me up afteward-with Bob. Apparently she really did spend 'alone time' for most of the time, but shortly before she left to come pick me up, Bob called, and so yeah. Anyway, the 3 of us (my friend went elsewhere) hung out at her house for awhile, and no problems, Bob seems really nice, etc. Eventually Bob says he needs to leave, and my gf goes through her whole "oh, do you have to? can't you just stay a little bit longer? Play one more round?" (we were playing cards). I was oddly reminded that this is how she used to act toward me when I was over and had to leave.
Anyway, Bob insisted and left anyway, and went home. She and I hung out for literally about 5-10 mins longer, before she told me she was really tired and that I should probably go home. Ouch. I didn't put up a fuss that night, but I told her the next day that that whole sequence of events had really hurt my feelings. This led to a big, tear-filled conversation on her couch about how sorry she was, she just 'wasnt thinking' and didnt think about how hurtful that must've been, she still loved me, can I please forgive her, etc. Mind you in that conversation we just talked about everything, not just the deal with Bob the previous night, but our whole relationship.
Once again, I just accepted it. We were back to normal again. We went on probably the funnest date we ever had that night, and she was her old self again, romantic, sweet, everything.
Fast-forward to last night (only a few days). I hadn't seen her since aforementioned fun date, so I called her and asked if she wanted to go out after work. "I dunno, I'm not sure what's going on tonight, I have some stuff to get done but I'll get back to ya." She called later from her house, (when it was a little too late for us to get together, since we live 30 mins apart), and I just gathered that since it was so late and she'd been working on that stuff that whole time that we weren't able to get together that night. Around 11:00 she says she has to go. Around 12:30am or so, she calls again, and lo and behold, she's on her way home from Bob's house (he literally lives down the street from her).
I confronted her. I asked her what her feelings were for Bob, and she said, after a long pause, "I don't know. Sorry, I know that's not what you wanted to hear, is it?" I ask her if she has romantic feelings for Bob, and she starts crying and says "I don't know, I'm so sorry. I just don't know." We talked a long while last night, but at any rate, she's coming over tonight after a rehearsal (ends at 10 pm), and we're going to talk.
I came really close to breaking up with her last night, but I just couldn't for some reason. I still love her, I still care about her so much, and I know (seriously) that she still cares deeply about me. But, tonight I'm afraid I have to put up the ultimatem. I refuse to just stand by or be patient and wait while she figures out whether she has feelings for someone else.
This hurts so much. Thanks for letting me vent.
edit-i forgot to mention, Bob *does* have a crush on her. He finally admitted it to her, she tearfully admitted it to me.
I've been dating my girlfriend for just under a year now. It's been amazing, the best time of my life, really. We were sort of one of those "jointed at the hip" couples that did nearly everything together. But about a month ago (little less), changes started happening. She seemed distant, less affectionate, no longer as excited to see me or hear from me. I don't know how to describe it really, but there was just no excitement in her eyes anymore. We talked about it, and for a short while everything was good again. The excitement was back, and I thought "rough patch conquered."
Not too long later though, she went back to seeming distant, etc, and seemed to be just much less eager to see me. Now see, there's this guy (you knew this was coming), we'll call him Bob. Bob and my gf were good friends as really little kids, and somehow they struck up conversation again and began hanging out. I met him recently, here's the story with that: She and I hung out one day, then a buddy of mine came out to see a concert that evening. He and I went to the concert, she said she didn't really feel up to going, just wanted some "alone time" to get some work done and whatnot. I went to the concert with my friend, and she picked me up afteward-with Bob. Apparently she really did spend 'alone time' for most of the time, but shortly before she left to come pick me up, Bob called, and so yeah. Anyway, the 3 of us (my friend went elsewhere) hung out at her house for awhile, and no problems, Bob seems really nice, etc. Eventually Bob says he needs to leave, and my gf goes through her whole "oh, do you have to? can't you just stay a little bit longer? Play one more round?" (we were playing cards). I was oddly reminded that this is how she used to act toward me when I was over and had to leave.
Anyway, Bob insisted and left anyway, and went home. She and I hung out for literally about 5-10 mins longer, before she told me she was really tired and that I should probably go home. Ouch. I didn't put up a fuss that night, but I told her the next day that that whole sequence of events had really hurt my feelings. This led to a big, tear-filled conversation on her couch about how sorry she was, she just 'wasnt thinking' and didnt think about how hurtful that must've been, she still loved me, can I please forgive her, etc. Mind you in that conversation we just talked about everything, not just the deal with Bob the previous night, but our whole relationship.
Once again, I just accepted it. We were back to normal again. We went on probably the funnest date we ever had that night, and she was her old self again, romantic, sweet, everything.
Fast-forward to last night (only a few days). I hadn't seen her since aforementioned fun date, so I called her and asked if she wanted to go out after work. "I dunno, I'm not sure what's going on tonight, I have some stuff to get done but I'll get back to ya." She called later from her house, (when it was a little too late for us to get together, since we live 30 mins apart), and I just gathered that since it was so late and she'd been working on that stuff that whole time that we weren't able to get together that night. Around 11:00 she says she has to go. Around 12:30am or so, she calls again, and lo and behold, she's on her way home from Bob's house (he literally lives down the street from her).
I confronted her. I asked her what her feelings were for Bob, and she said, after a long pause, "I don't know. Sorry, I know that's not what you wanted to hear, is it?" I ask her if she has romantic feelings for Bob, and she starts crying and says "I don't know, I'm so sorry. I just don't know." We talked a long while last night, but at any rate, she's coming over tonight after a rehearsal (ends at 10 pm), and we're going to talk.
I came really close to breaking up with her last night, but I just couldn't for some reason. I still love her, I still care about her so much, and I know (seriously) that she still cares deeply about me. But, tonight I'm afraid I have to put up the ultimatem. I refuse to just stand by or be patient and wait while she figures out whether she has feelings for someone else.
This hurts so much. Thanks for letting me vent.edit-i forgot to mention, Bob *does* have a crush on her. He finally admitted it to her, she tearfully admitted it to me.
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