YAGT: Is there something wrong with me?

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GuitarDaddy

GuitarDaddy

Lifer
Nov 9, 2004
11,465
1
0
The only problem here is the girls age. Her parents have forbid her from dating until shes 16 and rightfully so. Expecting any kind of commitment from her before then is just setting yourself up for heartache. For all you know she may be afraid to call you, for fear that hear parents think shes initiating the relationship.

You have to understand and respect that her parents are in charge of all aspects of her life at this point. The best thing you can do right now is respect their wishes and do everything you can to stay in good standing with the parents and maintain a strong friendship with the girl while putting zero pressure on her of anykind. Long after she turns 16 her parents will still play a strong role in her life and if you want a future with her you will have to win them over first.

I looks to me like you are already in, you just have to play it cool and take it slow. The girl obviously likes you or she wouldn't talk to you for hours daily, and her parents are somewhat accepting of you or they wouldn't allow it. Your #1 mission is to not screw it up.

And to all those saying "Dude, your in the friends zone, your screwed" STFU. The girl is underage and all she can offer at this point is the friends zone, and thats exactly where the OP wants to be
 
K

kurt454

Senior member
May 30, 2001
773
0
76
Ease off a little bit. Call once every 3 or 4 days or so. It is normal for a lot of gals not to want to call a guy. I'm 38. I've been there and done what you are doing. You will run her off if you keep smothering her. Play it cooler.
 
asm0deus

asm0deus

Golden Member
Aug 18, 2003
1,181
0
76
Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy
The only problem here is the girls age. Her parents have forbid her from dating until shes 16 and rightfully so. Expecting any kind of commitment from her before then is just setting yourself up for heartache. For all you know she may be afraid to call you, for fear that hear parents think shes initiating the relationship.

You have to understand and respect that her parents are in charge of all aspects of her life at this point. The best thing you can do right now is respect their wishes and do everything you can to stay in good standing with the parents and maintain a strong friendship with the girl while putting zero pressure on her of anykind. Long after she turns 16 her parents will still play a strong role in her life and if you want a future with her you will have to win them over first.

I looks to me like you are already in, you just have to play it cool and take it slow. The girl obviously likes you or she wouldn't talk to you for hours daily, and her parents are somewhat accepting of you or they wouldn't allow it. Your #1 mission is to not screw it up.

And to all those saying "Dude, your in the friends zone, your screwed" STFU. The girl is underage and all she can offer at this point is the friends zone, and thats exactly where the OP wants to be
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^^ double true
 
I

imported_Pablo

Diamond Member
Jan 20, 2002
3,714
1
0
Just chill out a bit. Don't put all your hope and confidence into a girl unless you know she's going to do the same. If you want to date her, tell her soon. If she doesn't want to date you, back way off. Easier said than done, but if you constantly act on emotion you'll never make smart relationship decisions.
 
I

imported_Stew

Golden Member
Apr 23, 2005
1,091
0
0
Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy
I looks to me like you are already in, you just have to play it cool and take it slow. The girl obviously likes you or she wouldn't talk to you for hours daily, and her parents are somewhat accepting of you or they wouldn't allow it. Your #1 mission is to not screw it up.

And to all those saying "Dude, your in the friends zone, your screwed" STFU. The girl is underage and all she can offer at this point is the friends zone, and thats exactly where the OP wants to be
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Ty for that. You are right.

I'm also good friends with her parents and her brother (also an AT member. hope he doesn't read this thread :p)

My real question in all of this is if I'm obsessed or not. The general concensus seems to be that I'm "borderline psychopath." but judging by the demographics of this forum/amount of exaggeration, I'm not going to worry.

I did bring it up with her, and she asked me if I wanted her to call me. So I said yes. We'll see how it goes. I'm just afraid that she's gonna flake and forget all about it.
 
S

step-dawg

Golden Member
Feb 29, 2000
1,531
0
0
Originally posted by: sm8000
The whole phone-throwing thing is not that big a deal. You're just frustrated, and understandably so. However you should give her a chance to see if she'll take the initiative and call for a change. Make it clear to her that she has to do the calling too. Don't set up a time or anything like that, but say something like "Why don't you call me sometime tonight after seven?"
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For real? You think the phone throwing thing is normal? It's just plain nutty. It's not like they were in a fight or she said something mean or uncalled for. She just said she had to go after they probably talked for 1 or 2 hours. And he gets upset and throws the phone? wow.

The OP sounds pretty immature if that's his reaction. How are you going to handle real problems if a relationship happens?
 
S

Steve

Lifer
May 2, 2004
15,945
11
81
He's 16, he is immature (hell, she's 14 or maybe 15 now?). And I don't mean that in a condescending way, just matter-of-factly. All he did by throwing the phone was vent some frustration at being so close and yet so far. It could have been a lot worse. He can learn from this, and get on with life. Maybe he'll get the girl, maybe not. But I don't think it's cause to send him to a shrink or put him on pills or something.
 
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imported_Stew

Golden Member
Apr 23, 2005
1,091
0
0
Yeah, I'm young I know.

I'm sure this thing will seem insignificant on the whole of my life by the time I'm 60, but still.
 
F

Frosty3799

Diamond Member
Nov 4, 2000
3,795
0
0
Originally posted by: Stew
Originally posted by: sm8000
'Sup Nova Scotia dude... former resident. What schools you two going to?
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Park View Education Centre, Bridgewater High School.

South Shore FTW.
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I think the fact you use 'FTW' is not helping your cause.

Find a new chick, possibly at your school?
 
Squisher

Squisher

Lifer
Aug 17, 2000
21,204
66
91
Are you still dating? If not, why not?

Was there a change in her demeanor that would lead you to believe that you've moved from the datezone to the friendzone? Or, was it always like this even when you went on formal dates?
 
D

DevilsAdvocate

Banned
Jul 1, 2000
10,274
2
0
Originally posted by: Crusty
Phone #? I promise i'll fix things.. i swear.....
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LOL. No, son. You better leave it to me. I'm a family lawyer with experience in dashing families to pieces... errrr mending shattered families.

She's at least 18, right? ;)
 
N

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
You're in high school. Nothing matters in high school. Get your schooling done and care about life after the fact.
 
I

imported_Stew

Golden Member
Apr 23, 2005
1,091
0
0
Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
Originally posted by: Crusty
Phone #? I promise i'll fix things.. i swear.....
Click to expand...

LOL. No, son. You better leave it to me. I'm a family lawyer with experience in dashing families to pieces... errrr mending shattered families.

She's at least 18, right? ;)
Click to expand...
Actually, she's 14.
 
A

Accipiter22

Banned
Feb 11, 2005
7,942
2
0
Originally posted by: Stew
I've got a really great friend, named Emily and we've known each other about a year.

We dated for a while, and now we're best friends, but still have feelings for each other. (That's part of the problem... but not the one I want to ask about.)

We go to different schools, and talk on the phone almost every night in excess of an hour, sometimes two hours. We get along just great, and love talking to each other.

The problem though... I'm always the one that calls. Unless I specifically ask her to call me on a certain day, I'm always the one that phones her. I don't really have a problem with this, but subconsciously I think I'm feeling rejected. More importantly, 99% of the time, she is the first one to go. It's not that she doesn't like talking to me, but she has stuff to do and she's not allowed to talk too long on the phone, due to the fact that we're both in high school and her parents don't want her hogging the phone.

Anyway, the thing is: I always get upset when she says she has to go, and when she hangs up. I usually stall her, and when she goes I often wait to hear the dial tone and just listen. Recently, I actually threw my cordless phone across the room in anger/sadness.

Is there something wrong with me?
Am I obsessed?
Pic of me and her
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wise man once said 'IF THE GIRL DOES NOT CALL YOU, THE GIRL IS NOT INTERESTED', also you're playin some mad weak game there, stalling to not let her off the phone with you? You say you're friends with her but it's obvious you want more and it's creating tension. She doesn't have feelings for you, if she did she'd be calling you on her own.
 
A

Accipiter22

Banned
Feb 11, 2005
7,942
2
0
Originally posted by: Stew
Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
Originally posted by: Crusty
Phone #? I promise i'll fix things.. i swear.....
Click to expand...

LOL. No, son. You better leave it to me. I'm a family lawyer with experience in dashing families to pieces... errrr mending shattered families.

She's at least 18, right? ;)
Click to expand...
Actually, she's 14.
Click to expand...

OH GEEZE....dude, no, just no....move along. You're not going to listen to this advice, I didn't when I was your age and doing the same stuff...but just move on
 
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