YAGT: In need of some SERIOUS help

[Doctorweir]

Damn, page 4 ruined it for me cos it uncovered the shens but a good laugh anyway...

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: mcveigh
you aren't supposed to get laid. it's natures way of cleaning up the gene pool.
your retarded seed must not go on!

hahahhahaha KILL IT BEFORE IT BREEDS

 

[pontifex]

I'm sitting here at work reading the updates and i'm trying not to lol but its so hard! my eyes are watering so bad because i'm laughing so hard.

this is one of the funniest things i've read in awhile!

 

[chairbornrangerx]

funny or pathetic?

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: FrustratedUser

Originally posted by: meltdown75
You have issues if you are on OT DURING your date.

Log off immediately and resume attempting to be normal.

ROFL!

I need to get a PDA so I can post while ON a date. Uber L337 dawg.
Mad props for actually providing a pic... but damn..... I still think ATOT is being scammed somehow.

its either his friend or sister, or him that is in the pic.
it's obviously a scam, but a funny scam nonetheless

 

[DaShen]

You sound really immature OP. No wonder the girl wants an "open relationship".

You are trying way too hard BTW to impress her. Just be yourself and stop being so self conscious (this seems to show itself by how hard you try to impress her) and talking to her will come naturally. Then you won't have to rely on computers, games, and music to actually talk to her and make her smile.

Work on your wit too if you can. Just start talking to people in general instead of posting on ATOT.

Also, taking pics to prove that she is a real girl to ATOT probably didn't impress her too much. Not a really smooth move there buddy especially if she isn't a computer person. Maybe she just isn't the right girl for you and you don't want to admit it, or maybe you are just trying too hard. Next time take her out to a fun place and just hang out. But I am betting you are a youngun, so no worries.

 

[mikej007]

That was one of the most pathetic things I've ever read in my life. Are you sure this is not a parody thread? How old are you? 10? "I'm gonna show this girl how much I r0x0r at teh Halo!"

WTF?

 

[jlbenedict]

Crushed Doritos on a salad? Are you fvcking kidding me?

Tomato sauce for the dressing? WTF

 

[Descartes]

This thread delivers!

 

[Alex]

so how did it go tiger? did the yawning thing work and more important than that did she agree to have sex with you?? :laugh:

 

[MisterJackson]

Just so you know, she's frickin' hot, and if this really isn't a parody I give you mad props for landing her. However, you lost most of that respect when you had her in your house and you decided to show her your "video game and computer skills"......you are just wasting time.

I would have hit that 5 times over by now.

In fact, I'm begging you, please give me her number and let me take care of her. I promise I'll still let her come over to watch you play video games....I won't have to worry or anything, it's not like you'll do anything.

seriously, don't let her go to waste.....if you truly love her you'll send her to me to make her happy. Isn't her true happiness all that matters?

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: AnthroAndStargate
So I will make this short cause I have limited time and I am in need of some SERIOUS help, please dont bash me or mock me unless you intend on helping.

My girlfriend is coming over for a fancy dinner tomorrow for our 2 year anniversary! I want to make it special cause we have never done this before cause last year I was out of town when it rolled around, and we never found time to do it.

I plan on having her come to my apartment and I am going to cook for her. The only problem is I cant cook. I have decided that I am going to order Pizza Hut regular crust vegitable pizza and just put it on a cooking sheet in the oven and have flour and vegitables and sauce out so it looks like I used it. For desert I am going to mash up 3 McDonalds apple pies ina bowl and sprinkle cinamon and sugar over them and tell her it's my famous "Breaded Apple Crumble Ver 2.0".

She doesnt really like computers and thats all I know about so I dont know what we are going to talk about while we eat! (When we usually eat we just watch TV). i think I am going to load up some of my favorite funny YTMND.com sites to make her laugh while we eat. SHe doesnt know of YTMND but what girl wouldnt love Brian peppers - I mean come on, its funny! That or I want to see if she wants to play Some Halo 2 or something, its one of my favorite games - and while she may not liek games I figure she will get to know better if she sees me 0wn!

If I get lucky I want to put on some techno music, I was thinking DJ Tiesto or Paul Oakenfold would make the mood right, with the iTunes visual. What do you think?


Do you think my plan will work? Do you have any suggestions? Please help and maybe I will get lucky that night.

Please give me your advice - I am SCREWED!

(UPDATE)
THIS IS NOT A PARODY! I NEED SERIOUS HELP, PLEASE. I am sorry im not a "baller" like all you other ATOTers, just give me the 411 on what to do!

Today is the big day! I will update as I can. She is supposed to come over around 6ish CST.. im going to lie and say I have to use the bathroom to give updates and ask for advice if need be. As for bringing a camera and taking pics for you, I can try... but what should I say? I was thinking I could say "I want to remember this night forever" and saying thats why I have the camera.

For those that have been asking why I am doing this 2 years after dating her:

Well I dont see her all the time because about a year and a half ago (we had been dating for six months) she said she wantd an "opren relationship" or something... she basicalyl said shes busy with work so she doesnt want to restrict herself with having to hang out everyday so she wants our relationship to be open and free so she has enough time for us to grow and for her to make the grades she needs and do good in her internship at work. Thats why I want this night to go perfect! I think im going to PM Vegitto for help...

and for those of you that are GOOD PEOPLE and believe me thanks, I'm reading all your advice... keep it coming!


UPDATE 5:22PM
Just ordered a large pan crust peperoni pizza from the local Pizza Hut. Shes not coming for an hour or more so I should be fine, since all I have to do is heat up the oven and put it in. I am going to head over to McD now for two apple pies - I also got the idea to get a freeze - and I am going to put the freeze on the bottom of the bowl with crushed up apple pie on top, I think she will like it - it will be Ice cream Apple Pie Crumble Cake! I'll keep you updated

UPDATE 6:43PM
She is going to be here in 20 min! It's go time baby - I already go some Happy Hardcore playing on my media PC by the kitchen to get the mood right. Im grooving out while putting the finishing touches on the table. I made the desert and put it in the freezer - and the pizza is being warmed in the oven. I even decided to cook like you guys said so I went to Kroger and bough a premade salad bag and a bag of Cool Ranch Dorritos. I poured some crushed up Dorittos into the salad and put some tomato sauce on the salad for dressign (I didnt have any dressing). Think this is going to look fancy? I hope so! I am going to make an excuse to go to the bathroom and give you guys an update when she gets here.

Should I ask her to hold up a sign that says "This is real ATOT... AnthroAndStargate" to PROVE this is real?

:camera:Here is a pic of her holding a sign to PROVE it's real. She just came over and I told her ATOT stands for American Tourist Overseas Trips (a company that gives free cruises) and she could win if I posted that pic and they chose it. I gotta get back to dinner - we are getting ready to eat- I told her I'm going to the bathroom.

:camera:I took a picture of her watching YTMND while we ate dinner - I am sneaking upstairs using the "bathroom" again - I GTG , dont want her to get suspicious. HOW DO I BRING UP THE "BIG DEED"? DO I JUST ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO DO IT WHILE IM PLAYING HALO? hope i do good to impress her!

Update 9:40PM
HOLY CRAP I NEED HELP! So I've been getting owned on XBOX Live for the past hour or so now - and I think she is NOT impressed. WTF do I do? I've already shown her all my favorite YTMNDs - she didn't even laugh at Brian peppers, and now im sucking it up at halo. I told her I will play one more game and show her my "sexy moves" in it. GUYS PLEASE HELP ME! I really want to get with her (she wanted to get with me about a year ago but I was to shy and scared - I didn't know if it would be right to have sex with her after only a year of dating). WHAT DO I DO TO GET INTO HER PANTS????? I'm thinkin about asking if she wants to come see my new computers (I just installed a purple cold ray cathode on the inside of my tower and server). PLEASE POST ADVICE... I NEED YOUR HELP, NOT JOKES. I will try to excuse myself for the bathroom again after this last Halo game, PLEASE HELP. I'll try to get more pics if I can, shes been usig my phone to text people though, so I cant right now. PLEASE!

UPDATE 10:30PM LAST UPDATE OF THE NIGHT
Thanks so much to the one person who gave me actual advice. I am going to try to do that classic yawn move where you put your arm around the girl and see if it works. (Me and my gf usually dont cuddle, just hold hands and stuff when watching movies at AMC or whatever). Anyways if I want to try to score I cant keep pretending im takin craps in the bathroom, thanks for the advice on that guys - I could have screwed myself. I am going to ask her if she wants to see my computers and watch the World of Warcraft south park episode - it's halarious - even if she doesnt know about WOW how can she not laugh?! Maybe I can convince her to sit on my bed to watch it. I put the condoms inside my pillow case on the bottom pillow, so I can do some kind of awesome Neo/Morpheus move to pull them out if she agrees to make love. I'll update you tomorrow on whether I get to have sex with my girlfriend or not. Thanks to those of you who helped me figure out the best way to trick her into thinkin I cooked, etc. The rest of you.. I'm sorry I dont get to "bang hoes" every night like you guys do, but atleast I can 0wn in Halo and have a Level 60 Tauran on Storm. So step off me, and I'll leave you alone.

Does this remind you of the nerd in the show, The Nine?

 

[randomlinh]

oh wow.... i'm too lazy to find my post and see if the OP responded.. but... I still call shens. or at least, god forbid I hope it is. Because if this is real... i don't know what to say.

 

[Fraggable]

1) girls are not impressed by purple cathode lights
2) girls are not impressed by faking you can cook
3) girls are not impressed by you 0wning at Halo
4) girls are not impressed with your YTMND videos
5) girls are not impressed with all your other technology

 

[Hossenfeffer]

Much respect for the committment to the parody

 

[Majesty]

Best Thread. EVER. Period.

Never laughed so much!

 

[SmoochyTX]

So how'd things go after your last update OP?

 

[dafatha00]

I hope none of you actually this this is real. This is shens to the max. No one is this pathetic.

 

[Hossenfeffer]

Would have been an easy win with the robe and wizard hat.

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: dafatha00
I hope none of you actually this this is real. This is shens to the max. No one is this pathetic.

except skywalker.


and freedomsbeat.


and mzkahadir.


and the 'stick out your left hand' guy.


and the freshly pressed halo t-shirt guy.

 

[Xyo II]

Originally posted by: dafatha00
I hope none of you actually this this is real. This is shens to the max. No one is this pathetic.

You might want to rethink that. This is the internet, if you haven't noticed

Originally posted by: Stumps
this thread makes baby Jesus cry

Baby Jesus does not cry. It might make him scowl fiercely though.

 

[swtethan]

I dont know if this is true or not, I would feel bad about laughing if it were sorry.

 

[MikeMike]

something tells me that this was someone who got logged into another users account.

i have some ideas.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Wow... Nice rack.

 

[BD2003]

Best YAGT ever. You are most definitely in need of SERIOUS help.