So I will make this short cause I have limited time and I am in need of some SERIOUS help, please dont bash me or mock me unless you intend on helping.
My girlfriend is coming over for a fancy dinner tomorrow for our 2 year anniversary! I want to make it special cause we have never done this before cause last year I was out of town when it rolled around, and we never found time to do it.
I plan on having her come to my apartment and I am going to cook for her. The only problem is I cant cook. I have decided that I am going to order Pizza Hut regular crust vegitable pizza and just put it on a cooking sheet in the oven and have flour and vegitables and sauce out so it looks like I used it. For desert I am going to mash up 3 McDonalds apple pies ina bowl and sprinkle cinamon and sugar over them and tell her it's my famous "Breaded Apple Crumble Ver 2.0".
She doesnt really like computers and thats all I know about so I dont know what we are going to talk about while we eat! (When we usually eat we just watch TV). i think I am going to load up some of my favorite funny YTMND.com sites to make her laugh while we eat. SHe doesnt know of YTMND but what girl wouldnt love Brian peppers - I mean come on, its funny! That or I want to see if she wants to play Some Halo 2 or something, its one of my favorite games - and while she may not liek games I figure she will get to know better if she sees me 0wn!
If I get lucky I want to put on some techno music, I was thinking DJ Tiesto or Paul Oakenfold would make the mood right, with the iTunes visual. What do you think?
Do you think my plan will work? Do you have any suggestions? Please help and maybe I will get lucky that night.
Please give me your advice - I am SCREWED!
(UPDATE)
THIS IS NOT A PARODY! I NEED SERIOUS HELP, PLEASE. I am sorry im not a "baller" like all you other ATOTers, just give me the 411 on what to do!
Today is the big day! I will update as I can. She is supposed to come over around 6ish CST.. im going to lie and say I have to use the bathroom to give updates and ask for advice if need be. As for bringing a camera and taking pics for you, I can try... but what should I say? I was thinking I could say "I want to remember this night forever" and saying thats why I have the camera.
For those that have been asking why I am doing this 2 years after dating her:
Well I dont see her all the time because about a year and a half ago (we had been dating for six months) she said she wantd an "opren relationship" or something... she basicalyl said shes busy with work so she doesnt want to restrict herself with having to hang out everyday so she wants our relationship to be open and free so she has enough time for us to grow and for her to make the grades she needs and do good in her internship at work. Thats why I want this night to go perfect! I think im going to PM Vegitto for help...
and for those of you that are GOOD PEOPLE and believe me thanks, I'm reading all your advice... keep it coming!
UPDATE 5:22PM
Just ordered a large pan crust peperoni pizza from the local Pizza Hut. Shes not coming for an hour or more so I should be fine, since all I have to do is heat up the oven and put it in. I am going to head over to McD now for two apple pies - I also got the idea to get a freeze - and I am going to put the freeze on the bottom of the bowl with crushed up apple pie on top, I think she will like it - it will be Ice cream Apple Pie Crumble Cake! I'll keep you updated
UPDATE 6:43PM
She is going to be here in 20 min! It's go time baby - I already go some Happy Hardcore playing on my media PC by the kitchen to get the mood right. Im grooving out while putting the finishing touches on the table. I made the desert and put it in the freezer - and the pizza is being warmed in the oven. I even decided to cook like you guys said so I went to Kroger and bough a premade salad bag and a bag of Cool Ranch Dorritos. I poured some crushed up Dorittos into the salad and put some tomato sauce on the salad for dressign (I didnt have any dressing). Think this is going to look fancy? I hope so! I am going to make an excuse to go to the bathroom and give you guys an update when she gets here.
Should I ask her to hold up a sign that says "This is real ATOT... AnthroAndStargate" to PROVE this is real?
:camera:Here is a pic of her holding a sign to PROVE it's real. She just came over and I told her ATOT stands for American Tourist Overseas Trips (a company that gives free cruises) and she could win if I posted that pic and they chose it. I gotta get back to dinner - we are getting ready to eat- I told her I'm going to the bathroom.
:camera:I took a picture of her watching YTMND while we ate dinner - I am sneaking upstairs using the "bathroom" again - I GTG , dont want her to get suspicious. HOW DO I BRING UP THE "BIG DEED"? DO I JUST ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO DO IT WHILE IM PLAYING HALO? hope i do good to impress her!
Update 9:40PM
HOLY CRAP I NEED HELP! So I've been getting owned on XBOX Live for the past hour or so now - and I think she is NOT impressed. WTF do I do? I've already shown her all my favorite YTMNDs - she didn't even laugh at Brian peppers, and now im sucking it up at halo. I told her I will play one more game and show her my "sexy moves" in it. GUYS PLEASE HELP ME! I really want to get with her (she wanted to get with me about a year ago but I was to shy and scared - I didn't know if it would be right to have sex with her after only a year of dating). WHAT DO I DO TO GET INTO HER PANTS????? I'm thinkin about asking if she wants to come see my new computers (I just installed a purple cold ray cathode on the inside of my tower and server). PLEASE POST ADVICE... I NEED YOUR HELP, NOT JOKES. I will try to excuse myself for the bathroom again after this last Halo game, PLEASE HELP. I'll try to get more pics if I can, shes been usig my phone to text people though, so I cant right now. PLEASE!
UPDATE 10:30PM LAST UPDATE OF THE NIGHT
Thanks so much to the one person who gave me actual advice. I am going to try to do that classic yawn move where you put your arm around the girl and see if it works. (Me and my gf usually dont cuddle, just hold hands and stuff when watching movies at AMC or whatever). Anyways if I want to try to score I cant keep pretending im takin craps in the bathroom, thanks for the advice on that guys - I could have screwed myself. I am going to ask her if she wants to see my computers and watch the World of Warcraft south park episode - it's halarious - even if she doesnt know about WOW how can she not laugh?! Maybe I can convince her to sit on my bed to watch it. I put the condoms inside my pillow case on the bottom pillow, so I can do some kind of awesome Neo/Morpheus move to pull them out if she agrees to make love. I'll update you tomorrow on whether I get to have sex with my girlfriend or not. Thanks to those of you who helped me figure out the best way to trick her into thinkin I cooked, etc. The rest of you.. I'm sorry I dont get to "bang hoes" every night like you guys do, but atleast I can 0wn in Halo and have a Level 60 Tauran on Storm. So step off me, and I'll leave you alone.
Update - the next day, 9:20PM
I am in a dark place right now... I have been playing WOW all day, I have been trying to find some good raids to go on, because I know if I can get enough of my characters to Level 60 I can sell my account for tons of money and live like a pimp and she will see how much of a baller I can be. I will update later. Also, can you get a girl pregnant if your thing touches her thing without a condom but just on the outside? PLEASE TELL ME ASAP CAUSE IM SCARED
UPDATE *SIGH*
So I know you all have been waiting for me to explain what happened, but I've been in a dark place like I said. All I have been doing is watching old Gundam Wing episodes and eating bagle bites (I love the peperoni kind). I even ate the rest of the mcdonalds apple pie desert cake I crafted before it would go bad.
So anyway... things didn't turn out so well that night. I really dont understand why not - I was suave, calm, collected, and thanks to you guys confident! (Well most of you!) I dont know what happened. I dont see what the point of me explaining what happened is anymore, but suffice to say I dont know what to do.
Even though things did not go well I realized I want to marry her. its not important that I dont know everything about her - i know shes the one - and thats all that matters! I dont want to loose her!!! The only problem is I may have messed things up - and also she goes to a different college that is about 2-3 hrs drive away. But like she said - she wants us to be "open" so she can have more time to do her work - do you think I could do an "open engagement?" ofcourse she would have to say yes. Im 21 and shes 19 BTW - some of you were asking. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!??!?!!!!!!!
FINAL UPDATE - IT'S ALL OVER
Sigh.. not even WOW can save me now. It's all over. She just told me shes been dating my friend who is a fellow TA in the Community College computer science department that she goes to school at. I dont know how this could happen... I am a way better player then he is. The reason i wanted to marry her is because I found out about this when we are about to do the big deed. it appears she got drunk with him a few months back and he dared her to tatoo his name on his back and she did. APparently they are "in love"... thats why i wanted to propose to her, so she could see how much i loved her and let me marry her. I guess it wont ever happen, even though hes only a frekaing level 45 orc and im a level 60 tauran shaman, I mean come on! thats like dating Steve Jobs when you could be banging Linus Trovalids instead! Anyways... the way I saw the tatoo is when i was getting ready to do what you guys told me - (before i put the blue condom on from the health center from my uni)... I saw the tat on her back.. and so I quickly reached for my camera to take a pic so I could show you all for advice.. and my thing slipped, which is why I was afraid she would be pregnant. She screamed at me asking how I could take a pic of her in that state.. and I screamed back how could she cheat on me when i own at halo and wow.. and know all the best ytmnd paradoies by heart....
anyway heres the pic.. im done with this thread. theres no point anymore.
:camera: NSFW
My girlfriend is coming over for a fancy dinner tomorrow for our 2 year anniversary! I want to make it special cause we have never done this before cause last year I was out of town when it rolled around, and we never found time to do it.
I plan on having her come to my apartment and I am going to cook for her. The only problem is I cant cook. I have decided that I am going to order Pizza Hut regular crust vegitable pizza and just put it on a cooking sheet in the oven and have flour and vegitables and sauce out so it looks like I used it. For desert I am going to mash up 3 McDonalds apple pies ina bowl and sprinkle cinamon and sugar over them and tell her it's my famous "Breaded Apple Crumble Ver 2.0".
She doesnt really like computers and thats all I know about so I dont know what we are going to talk about while we eat! (When we usually eat we just watch TV). i think I am going to load up some of my favorite funny YTMND.com sites to make her laugh while we eat. SHe doesnt know of YTMND but what girl wouldnt love Brian peppers - I mean come on, its funny! That or I want to see if she wants to play Some Halo 2 or something, its one of my favorite games - and while she may not liek games I figure she will get to know better if she sees me 0wn!
If I get lucky I want to put on some techno music, I was thinking DJ Tiesto or Paul Oakenfold would make the mood right, with the iTunes visual. What do you think?
Do you think my plan will work? Do you have any suggestions? Please help and maybe I will get lucky that night.
Please give me your advice - I am SCREWED!
(UPDATE)
THIS IS NOT A PARODY! I NEED SERIOUS HELP, PLEASE. I am sorry im not a "baller" like all you other ATOTers, just give me the 411 on what to do!
Today is the big day! I will update as I can. She is supposed to come over around 6ish CST.. im going to lie and say I have to use the bathroom to give updates and ask for advice if need be. As for bringing a camera and taking pics for you, I can try... but what should I say? I was thinking I could say "I want to remember this night forever" and saying thats why I have the camera.
For those that have been asking why I am doing this 2 years after dating her:
Well I dont see her all the time because about a year and a half ago (we had been dating for six months) she said she wantd an "opren relationship" or something... she basicalyl said shes busy with work so she doesnt want to restrict herself with having to hang out everyday so she wants our relationship to be open and free so she has enough time for us to grow and for her to make the grades she needs and do good in her internship at work. Thats why I want this night to go perfect! I think im going to PM Vegitto for help...
and for those of you that are GOOD PEOPLE and believe me thanks, I'm reading all your advice... keep it coming!
UPDATE 5:22PM
Just ordered a large pan crust peperoni pizza from the local Pizza Hut. Shes not coming for an hour or more so I should be fine, since all I have to do is heat up the oven and put it in. I am going to head over to McD now for two apple pies - I also got the idea to get a freeze - and I am going to put the freeze on the bottom of the bowl with crushed up apple pie on top, I think she will like it - it will be Ice cream Apple Pie Crumble Cake! I'll keep you updated
UPDATE 6:43PM
She is going to be here in 20 min! It's go time baby - I already go some Happy Hardcore playing on my media PC by the kitchen to get the mood right. Im grooving out while putting the finishing touches on the table. I made the desert and put it in the freezer - and the pizza is being warmed in the oven. I even decided to cook like you guys said so I went to Kroger and bough a premade salad bag and a bag of Cool Ranch Dorritos. I poured some crushed up Dorittos into the salad and put some tomato sauce on the salad for dressign (I didnt have any dressing). Think this is going to look fancy? I hope so! I am going to make an excuse to go to the bathroom and give you guys an update when she gets here.
Should I ask her to hold up a sign that says "This is real ATOT... AnthroAndStargate" to PROVE this is real?
:camera:Here is a pic of her holding a sign to PROVE it's real. She just came over and I told her ATOT stands for American Tourist Overseas Trips (a company that gives free cruises) and she could win if I posted that pic and they chose it. I gotta get back to dinner - we are getting ready to eat- I told her I'm going to the bathroom.
:camera:I took a picture of her watching YTMND while we ate dinner - I am sneaking upstairs using the "bathroom" again - I GTG , dont want her to get suspicious. HOW DO I BRING UP THE "BIG DEED"? DO I JUST ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO DO IT WHILE IM PLAYING HALO? hope i do good to impress her!
Update 9:40PM
HOLY CRAP I NEED HELP! So I've been getting owned on XBOX Live for the past hour or so now - and I think she is NOT impressed. WTF do I do? I've already shown her all my favorite YTMNDs - she didn't even laugh at Brian peppers, and now im sucking it up at halo. I told her I will play one more game and show her my "sexy moves" in it. GUYS PLEASE HELP ME! I really want to get with her (she wanted to get with me about a year ago but I was to shy and scared - I didn't know if it would be right to have sex with her after only a year of dating). WHAT DO I DO TO GET INTO HER PANTS????? I'm thinkin about asking if she wants to come see my new computers (I just installed a purple cold ray cathode on the inside of my tower and server). PLEASE POST ADVICE... I NEED YOUR HELP, NOT JOKES. I will try to excuse myself for the bathroom again after this last Halo game, PLEASE HELP. I'll try to get more pics if I can, shes been usig my phone to text people though, so I cant right now. PLEASE!
UPDATE 10:30PM LAST UPDATE OF THE NIGHT
Thanks so much to the one person who gave me actual advice. I am going to try to do that classic yawn move where you put your arm around the girl and see if it works. (Me and my gf usually dont cuddle, just hold hands and stuff when watching movies at AMC or whatever). Anyways if I want to try to score I cant keep pretending im takin craps in the bathroom, thanks for the advice on that guys - I could have screwed myself. I am going to ask her if she wants to see my computers and watch the World of Warcraft south park episode - it's halarious - even if she doesnt know about WOW how can she not laugh?! Maybe I can convince her to sit on my bed to watch it. I put the condoms inside my pillow case on the bottom pillow, so I can do some kind of awesome Neo/Morpheus move to pull them out if she agrees to make love. I'll update you tomorrow on whether I get to have sex with my girlfriend or not. Thanks to those of you who helped me figure out the best way to trick her into thinkin I cooked, etc. The rest of you.. I'm sorry I dont get to "bang hoes" every night like you guys do, but atleast I can 0wn in Halo and have a Level 60 Tauran on Storm. So step off me, and I'll leave you alone.
Update - the next day, 9:20PM
I am in a dark place right now... I have been playing WOW all day, I have been trying to find some good raids to go on, because I know if I can get enough of my characters to Level 60 I can sell my account for tons of money and live like a pimp and she will see how much of a baller I can be. I will update later. Also, can you get a girl pregnant if your thing touches her thing without a condom but just on the outside? PLEASE TELL ME ASAP CAUSE IM SCARED
UPDATE *SIGH*
So I know you all have been waiting for me to explain what happened, but I've been in a dark place like I said. All I have been doing is watching old Gundam Wing episodes and eating bagle bites (I love the peperoni kind). I even ate the rest of the mcdonalds apple pie desert cake I crafted before it would go bad.
So anyway... things didn't turn out so well that night. I really dont understand why not - I was suave, calm, collected, and thanks to you guys confident! (Well most of you!) I dont know what happened. I dont see what the point of me explaining what happened is anymore, but suffice to say I dont know what to do.
Even though things did not go well I realized I want to marry her. its not important that I dont know everything about her - i know shes the one - and thats all that matters! I dont want to loose her!!! The only problem is I may have messed things up - and also she goes to a different college that is about 2-3 hrs drive away. But like she said - she wants us to be "open" so she can have more time to do her work - do you think I could do an "open engagement?" ofcourse she would have to say yes. Im 21 and shes 19 BTW - some of you were asking. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!??!?!!!!!!!
FINAL UPDATE - IT'S ALL OVER
Sigh.. not even WOW can save me now. It's all over. She just told me shes been dating my friend who is a fellow TA in the Community College computer science department that she goes to school at. I dont know how this could happen... I am a way better player then he is. The reason i wanted to marry her is because I found out about this when we are about to do the big deed. it appears she got drunk with him a few months back and he dared her to tatoo his name on his back and she did. APparently they are "in love"... thats why i wanted to propose to her, so she could see how much i loved her and let me marry her. I guess it wont ever happen, even though hes only a frekaing level 45 orc and im a level 60 tauran shaman, I mean come on! thats like dating Steve Jobs when you could be banging Linus Trovalids instead! Anyways... the way I saw the tatoo is when i was getting ready to do what you guys told me - (before i put the blue condom on from the health center from my uni)... I saw the tat on her back.. and so I quickly reached for my camera to take a pic so I could show you all for advice.. and my thing slipped, which is why I was afraid she would be pregnant. She screamed at me asking how I could take a pic of her in that state.. and I screamed back how could she cheat on me when i own at halo and wow.. and know all the best ytmnd paradoies by heart....
anyway heres the pic.. im done with this thread. theres no point anymore.
:camera: NSFW
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