I met this person six years ago when I started high school. She was literally one of the first people I saw, was wearing a mini-skirt that showed off her legs, and I thought, "I gotta have her!" She was into drinking, smoking, and raising hell, and didn't give me the time of my day romantically. I was basically used, and was pretty bitter about this for several years. I lost contact with her after my sophomore year of high school until this summer. FYI, I'm twenty and she's twenty-two.
She messages me out of the blue on Myspace and I fail to recognize her. It turns out she lost a lot of weight, got married, and had a baby. I started talking to her and realized that she had changed from the party girl she used to be. She's a stay at home mom now.
She was diagnosed with colon cancer near the end of last year, and had been out of work since she had her child about a year before that. Her prognosis is good, but the medical bills are way beyond what they could ever pay. They were having trouble just making ends meet as it was before she got sick (especially with her out of work), so her husband takes on even more responsibility.
Their relationship hasn't seemed all that strong. She rarely talks about him, but he's always working hard to pay the bills so he's not home with her and the baby much. They see each other for maybe one or two hours per day, and she even sleeps in the room with the baby, not with him. He also wanted to have another child as recently as last summer, but her father died of colon cancer as well, and she had her tubes tied because she wouldn't want to pass this gene on. I don't think all of this has hit him yet, but when it does it will probably devastate him.
In addition, her husband's ex is trying to be friendly to her, presumably to get her to take "her eye off the ball" while the ex steals away the man. When they first got together, she caught him sending racy emails to this woman. If he hadn't cheated, he was at least thinking about it. Their relationship was fresh and untested then. What's to think he wouldn't be thinking about it now since things have gone downhill?
What I'm concerned about is whether or not he'll want some fun on the side with his wife being sick and him working so hard. The ex is more attractive than his wife, and with his stress level from the workload, bills, illness, and baby, it doesn't seem all that unreasonable that he'd sleep with her to find a little escape from it all.
They also don't have the means to do even simple things, like going out for a movie and dinner. She said they got a sitter and went out Saturday for the first time in two years. I eat out several times a week and just take it for granted.
I've been wanting to see a friend of mine at his church. I'm an atheist, and always manage to talk myself out of going. She's religious and looking for a new church, so I offered to take her with me Wednesday night. She was telling me today that she wanted a steak but hadn't had one in awhile, so I was thinking about buying her dinner. Several of her friends have organized a fundraiser for her this month and they aren't too well off, so they couldn't give much. I have a bit more money, so I was thinking about giving her $500-$1000 to help out. Would this look way out of line if everyone is chipping in tens and twenties and I hand her a few Benjamin's discreetly?
I feel sorry for her, still care a lot for her, and she's giving me the benefit of the doubt these days. She's grown-up a lot since she was sixteen. We talked for three hours on the phone today without a second thought. I want to help, but I don't want to wreck her marriage (which may blow up under the circumstances) or get too tangled up in this too quickly.
Cliffs:
1) I met a girl in high school, like her, we never hit it off. Met up with her last year, we start talking, and become close friends again even though she's now a married, stay at home mom. I'm 20 and she's 22.
2) She was diagnosed with colon cancer this winter, creating even more financial stress (and otherwise) on her husband when he's already overworked.
3) The relationship doesn't seem strong, they're poor, and I want to help, but don't want to be seen as a homewrecker.
She messages me out of the blue on Myspace and I fail to recognize her. It turns out she lost a lot of weight, got married, and had a baby. I started talking to her and realized that she had changed from the party girl she used to be. She's a stay at home mom now.
She was diagnosed with colon cancer near the end of last year, and had been out of work since she had her child about a year before that. Her prognosis is good, but the medical bills are way beyond what they could ever pay. They were having trouble just making ends meet as it was before she got sick (especially with her out of work), so her husband takes on even more responsibility.
Their relationship hasn't seemed all that strong. She rarely talks about him, but he's always working hard to pay the bills so he's not home with her and the baby much. They see each other for maybe one or two hours per day, and she even sleeps in the room with the baby, not with him. He also wanted to have another child as recently as last summer, but her father died of colon cancer as well, and she had her tubes tied because she wouldn't want to pass this gene on. I don't think all of this has hit him yet, but when it does it will probably devastate him.
In addition, her husband's ex is trying to be friendly to her, presumably to get her to take "her eye off the ball" while the ex steals away the man. When they first got together, she caught him sending racy emails to this woman. If he hadn't cheated, he was at least thinking about it. Their relationship was fresh and untested then. What's to think he wouldn't be thinking about it now since things have gone downhill?
What I'm concerned about is whether or not he'll want some fun on the side with his wife being sick and him working so hard. The ex is more attractive than his wife, and with his stress level from the workload, bills, illness, and baby, it doesn't seem all that unreasonable that he'd sleep with her to find a little escape from it all.
They also don't have the means to do even simple things, like going out for a movie and dinner. She said they got a sitter and went out Saturday for the first time in two years. I eat out several times a week and just take it for granted.
I've been wanting to see a friend of mine at his church. I'm an atheist, and always manage to talk myself out of going. She's religious and looking for a new church, so I offered to take her with me Wednesday night. She was telling me today that she wanted a steak but hadn't had one in awhile, so I was thinking about buying her dinner. Several of her friends have organized a fundraiser for her this month and they aren't too well off, so they couldn't give much. I have a bit more money, so I was thinking about giving her $500-$1000 to help out. Would this look way out of line if everyone is chipping in tens and twenties and I hand her a few Benjamin's discreetly?
I feel sorry for her, still care a lot for her, and she's giving me the benefit of the doubt these days. She's grown-up a lot since she was sixteen. We talked for three hours on the phone today without a second thought. I want to help, but I don't want to wreck her marriage (which may blow up under the circumstances) or get too tangled up in this too quickly.
Cliffs:
1) I met a girl in high school, like her, we never hit it off. Met up with her last year, we start talking, and become close friends again even though she's now a married, stay at home mom. I'm 20 and she's 22.
2) She was diagnosed with colon cancer this winter, creating even more financial stress (and otherwise) on her husband when he's already overworked.
3) The relationship doesn't seem strong, they're poor, and I want to help, but don't want to be seen as a homewrecker.
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