I know, this is very scummy. But there's this girl I really dig who's been dating this guy for a few months. We're very friendly and we hang out every now and then and, lately, I've been thinking about making my attraction clear. Now, if I don't do anything forceful (like kissing the taken girl), would this be so scummy? She's cute, smart, and fun to be around and I don't think her bf gives her the respect that she deserves anyways. The guy's a tool..
UPDATE - 4/7/2005
Very odd turn of events. So, this girl calls me last night hysterically crying. I ask her what's wrong and she can barely talk. She said that she's feeling alone and that she wanted to come over. I drive down to her apartment and pick her up. We go out for coffee and she explains that she's going through a really rough time and that her bf is being very cold and distant to her. Her mom recently died and she really needed some compassion but her BF keeps telling her to grow up. A total tool. Anyway, I take her back to my place and make her tea and we end up talking until 6 AM. Firstly, I told her that I was very attracted to her and that I shouldn't give her advice about her BF, one way or another as I'll be biased. Then I suggested that she not base her self worth on her bf and that she seriously talk to him - that they've been together for so long that she shouldn't throw it away based on one thing. We then watch a few simpsons episodes and I sleep on the couch.
I guess this was closure in a weird way. I proved mature enough not to take advantage of her when I easily could have. Then I insisted that she speak it over with her bf even though I really want that position... Finally, this night cemented my position as the asexual best friend. I'm bitter sweet about the whole thing. I'm glad that I'm that one person she decided to call but now know that I have absolutely no chance with her. But I feel like I did the right thing, as frustrating as that is.
UPDATE 2
So my little adventure with this wonderful girl is over for now. She slept over while I was at work and I came home to see her pretty face. It was nice, even if she was just there as a friend in need. We watched some tv, had some dinner, and then I drove her home. I convinced her to talk things over with her boyfriend and to be rational and weigh all of the factors before doing something that she'd regret. We had a long hug goodbye and I felt really good about the whole thing. We are going to the zoo on saturday but I have no alterior motives.. i learned so much about this girl and respect her so much after this odd 24 hours... she got a 1530 on her SATs! Ha, for some reason i think she's even hotter knowing that.. Anyway, whatever happens, happens... I'm just happy that I have her in my life at all. She's smart, beautiful, and probably has cute friends too
Thanks to the ATOTers who were unusually patient and respectful. Sometimes you guys piss me off and other times you guys are a loving bunch with thoughtful advice.
UPDATE - 4/8/2005
So she had a long talk with her boyfriend and her words to me where "I need to forget about him." I'm going to continue to be the good guy and wait things over before making a move but I sure as fvck am going to try to get out of the friend boat. I asked her if I can pamper her tomorrow since she's been so stressed out, "a minivacation filled with foot rubs and smelly animals" which she laughed at and accepted. I don't know if that's a date but I'm at least trying to get out of this friend situation. it's moving too quickly though, I know. I expect her boyfriend to come back with an apology but it's so shaky that I don't feel bad for being a little flirty right now.
UPDATE - 4/10/2005
We had a very fun day at the zoo today. She also took me to her old neighborhood and gave me a little tour followed by dinner. Was very cool and I enjoyed the time with her. I didn't make a move, it just didn't feel right. We had a blast and I know she knows that I have feelings for her. I joked once that I'm so serious about losing weight right now because there's this girl that I adore that I'm trying hard to deserve - i said it with a little wink. She said "I don't deserve anything" - an apathetic reply due to her current upset state of mind. my line sounds really forward and stuff but it was in the context of a much longer conversation.. she knows...that's what's important to me... i also know that she has some healing to do, so I'm not going to be pushy...i'm seeing her tomorrow but only for an audition - i'm not going to invite her to anything for a while since I don't want to seem too pushy...
UPDATE - 4/7/2005
Very odd turn of events. So, this girl calls me last night hysterically crying. I ask her what's wrong and she can barely talk. She said that she's feeling alone and that she wanted to come over. I drive down to her apartment and pick her up. We go out for coffee and she explains that she's going through a really rough time and that her bf is being very cold and distant to her. Her mom recently died and she really needed some compassion but her BF keeps telling her to grow up. A total tool. Anyway, I take her back to my place and make her tea and we end up talking until 6 AM. Firstly, I told her that I was very attracted to her and that I shouldn't give her advice about her BF, one way or another as I'll be biased. Then I suggested that she not base her self worth on her bf and that she seriously talk to him - that they've been together for so long that she shouldn't throw it away based on one thing. We then watch a few simpsons episodes and I sleep on the couch.
I guess this was closure in a weird way. I proved mature enough not to take advantage of her when I easily could have. Then I insisted that she speak it over with her bf even though I really want that position... Finally, this night cemented my position as the asexual best friend. I'm bitter sweet about the whole thing. I'm glad that I'm that one person she decided to call but now know that I have absolutely no chance with her. But I feel like I did the right thing, as frustrating as that is.
UPDATE 2
So my little adventure with this wonderful girl is over for now. She slept over while I was at work and I came home to see her pretty face. It was nice, even if she was just there as a friend in need. We watched some tv, had some dinner, and then I drove her home. I convinced her to talk things over with her boyfriend and to be rational and weigh all of the factors before doing something that she'd regret. We had a long hug goodbye and I felt really good about the whole thing. We are going to the zoo on saturday but I have no alterior motives.. i learned so much about this girl and respect her so much after this odd 24 hours... she got a 1530 on her SATs! Ha, for some reason i think she's even hotter knowing that.. Anyway, whatever happens, happens... I'm just happy that I have her in my life at all. She's smart, beautiful, and probably has cute friends too
Thanks to the ATOTers who were unusually patient and respectful. Sometimes you guys piss me off and other times you guys are a loving bunch with thoughtful advice.
UPDATE - 4/8/2005
So she had a long talk with her boyfriend and her words to me where "I need to forget about him." I'm going to continue to be the good guy and wait things over before making a move but I sure as fvck am going to try to get out of the friend boat. I asked her if I can pamper her tomorrow since she's been so stressed out, "a minivacation filled with foot rubs and smelly animals" which she laughed at and accepted. I don't know if that's a date but I'm at least trying to get out of this friend situation. it's moving too quickly though, I know. I expect her boyfriend to come back with an apology but it's so shaky that I don't feel bad for being a little flirty right now.
UPDATE - 4/10/2005
We had a very fun day at the zoo today. She also took me to her old neighborhood and gave me a little tour followed by dinner. Was very cool and I enjoyed the time with her. I didn't make a move, it just didn't feel right. We had a blast and I know she knows that I have feelings for her. I joked once that I'm so serious about losing weight right now because there's this girl that I adore that I'm trying hard to deserve - i said it with a little wink. She said "I don't deserve anything" - an apathetic reply due to her current upset state of mind. my line sounds really forward and stuff but it was in the context of a much longer conversation.. she knows...that's what's important to me... i also know that she has some healing to do, so I'm not going to be pushy...i'm seeing her tomorrow but only for an audition - i'm not going to invite her to anything for a while since I don't want to seem too pushy...
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