YAGT - Gauging interest

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: Toastedlightly
I've had luck w/ getting out of friends zone (thats how girls start out for me, so I dunno) *shrug*

some people like to be in control and not leave there fate and happiness in life to luck

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: Toastedlightly


Most girls I know ( not counting the strippers) aren't going to jump into a Long term relationship with a guy they are not sleeping with or physically attracted to. Why would they unless they have some big hang ups about sex or they are hyper religious.

Girl attracted to other features as well?[/quote]

it could happen sure. its certainly not the norm. I've never heard of it at least.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim


Most girls I know ( not counting the strippers) aren't going to jump into a Long term relationship with a guy they are not sleeping with or physically attracted to. Why would they unless they have some big hang ups about sex or they are hyper religious.

well that doesn't really make sense, why would they form any type of intimate relationship (long or short term) with someone they aren't attracted to? Isn't that the whole point of a relationship?

maybe i'm different than most people but i don't know if i'd want to get into an intimate relationship with someone without getting to know them at least a little bit. You guys are always saying if she doesn't put out by the 3rd date, you drop her. Unless thats total BS (which i am inclined to think) don't quite get it.

 

[postmortemIA]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: postmortemIA
Be warned that you are fast progressing to a friends only state.

so they've only been out once together and that wasn't even a real date , but yet he's moving into the friends zone? is that possible at this point?

are you serious man? The game is on as soon as you meet a girl. you are either moving towards a physical relationship or your moving towards the friends zone. You can rapidly accelerate this movement at anytime by doing/not doing certain things. But once your reached friend zone land.....game over.

so are you just concerned about getting laid or actually having a relationship with a girl?

define relationship

actually caring about her and actually maybe *gasp* being a friend, and not just treating her as piece of meat to just get you off.

If I can't vibe with a girl as a friend its almost certain that there won't be a physical relationship.

i'm not saying you can't get physical in a relationship, but it sounds like when everyone is talking in a YAGT that the only thing they are after is getting laid or the only advice they have to offer is on getting laid. nothing wrong with that, but it seems like some people want more than just sex.

Most girls I know ( not counting the strippers) aren't going to jump into a Long term relationship with a guy they are not sleeping with or physically attracted to. Why would they unless they have some big hang ups about sex or they are hyper religious.

well that doesn't really make sense, why would they form any type of intimate relationship (long or short term) with someone they aren't attracted to? Isn't that the whole point of a relationship?

maybe i'm different than most people but i don't know if i'd want to get into an intimate relationship with someone without getting to know them at least a little bit. You guys are always saying if she doesn't put out by the 3rd date, you drop her. Unless thats total BS (which i am inclined to think) don't quite get it.

As a illustration how wrong you could be, I had a FWB who said to me: I always have sex first with guys I meet, that way I get something from them, even if it doesn't work out.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: postmortemIA


As a illustration how wrong you could be, I had a FWB who said to me: I always have sex first with guys I meet, that way I get something from them, even if it doesn't work out.

your post makes no sense compared to anything i said in that post.

 

[postmortemIA]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: postmortemIA


As a illustration how wrong you could be, I had a FWB who said to me: I always have sex first with guys I meet, that way I get something from them, even if it doesn't work out.

your post makes no sense compared to anything i said in that post.

It does, perhaps you don't get it? They (women) don't have to be attracted to you if they sleep with you.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim


Most girls I know ( not counting the strippers) aren't going to jump into a Long term relationship with a guy they are not sleeping with or physically attracted to. Why would they unless they have some big hang ups about sex or they are hyper religious.

well that doesn't really make sense, why would they form any type of intimate relationship (long or short term) with someone they aren't attracted to? Isn't that the whole point of a relationship?

maybe i'm different than most people but i don't know if i'd want to get into an intimate relationship with someone without getting to know them at least a little bit. You guys are always saying if she doesn't put out by the 3rd date, you drop her. Unless thats total BS (which i am inclined to think) don't quite get it.

Tell us what you expect to find out after the 3rd date that would really drastically change your perception or level of attraction to the person. When they say put out I think they don't necessarily mean sex. But you should at least be doing some heavy petting. You need to have physical chemistry there no spark then why waste the time?

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: postmortemIA

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: postmortemIA


As a illustration how wrong you could be, I had a FWB who said to me: I always have sex first with guys I meet, that way I get something from them, even if it doesn't work out.

your post makes no sense compared to anything i said in that post.

It does, perhaps you don't get it? They (women) don't have to be attracted to you if they sleep with you.

so they regularly sleep with ugly guys? sorry, don't think so, unless you're talkin about hookers

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim


Most girls I know ( not counting the strippers) aren't going to jump into a Long term relationship with a guy they are not sleeping with or physically attracted to. Why would they unless they have some big hang ups about sex or they are hyper religious.

well that doesn't really make sense, why would they form any type of intimate relationship (long or short term) with someone they aren't attracted to? Isn't that the whole point of a relationship?

maybe i'm different than most people but i don't know if i'd want to get into an intimate relationship with someone without getting to know them at least a little bit. You guys are always saying if she doesn't put out by the 3rd date, you drop her. Unless thats total BS (which i am inclined to think) don't quite get it.

Tell us what you expect to find out after the 3rd date that would really drastically change your perception or level of attraction to the person. When they say put out I think they don't necessarily mean sex. But you should at least be doing some heavy petting. You need to have physical chemistry there no spark then why waste the time?

so you're saying you know everything about a person by 3 dates?

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim


Most girls I know ( not counting the strippers) aren't going to jump into a Long term relationship with a guy they are not sleeping with or physically attracted to. Why would they unless they have some big hang ups about sex or they are hyper religious.

well that doesn't really make sense, why would they form any type of intimate relationship (long or short term) with someone they aren't attracted to? Isn't that the whole point of a relationship?

maybe i'm different than most people but i don't know if i'd want to get into an intimate relationship with someone without getting to know them at least a little bit. You guys are always saying if she doesn't put out by the 3rd date, you drop her. Unless thats total BS (which i am inclined to think) don't quite get it.

Tell us what you expect to find out after the 3rd date that would really drastically change your perception or level of attraction to the person. When they say put out I think they don't necessarily mean sex. But you should at least be doing some heavy petting. You need to have physical chemistry there no spark then why waste the time?

so you're saying you know everything about a person by 3 dates?

huh ? no i didn't say that at all. Answering questions with questions is fun. point is after the first date I know what i want from the girl. If she doesn't want to physically escalate by the 3rd date im not gonna waste my time there are too many other girls out there.

 

[pontifex]

i don't know, that just seems pushy to me. even if the girl is perfect, but doesn't want to get intimate that soon, you'd just drop her?

 

[irishScott]

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k
She seems interested... testing the waters maybe. But don't wait too long or, like doze said, you'll be in the friends zone. Flirt with her. Be physical (but not creepy ). Pull her in and then push her away... emotionally/psychologically speaking. But most importantly, don't pretend (too much) to be something you're not. Funny thing about bullsh1t is... the deeper you pile it on, the easier she'll see through it. And if you go out on an actual date or get her next to you on the couch/bed/whatever... please... PLEASE have the balls to make a move. Just don't lunge on her out of nowhere. Building up to it is important so you can be relatively sure you're not fvcking up.

QFT

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: pontifex
i don't know, that just seems pushy to me. even if the girl is perfect, but doesn't want to get intimate that soon, you'd just drop her?

I'm not saying there are not exceptions. But a perfect girl......like a perfect 10....if she was stand off-ish still by the 3rd date she's just not that into me, she probably has other guys she's seeing i'm just a fall back. I would back off, stop calling etc. If she came back at me i'd give her another shot only because she is a 10. Im not saying there has to be sex but by the 3rd date there has to be something physical going on and some very strong signals that she is into you. If a girl is very into she will have no problem getting physical by the 3rd date. unless she has major hang ups, emotional issues etc......in which case my advice would be to leave the scrap metal at the junk yard.

 

[Aikouka]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
If a girl is very into she will have no problem getting physical by the 3rd date. unless she has major hang ups, emotional issues etc......in which case my advice would be to leave the scrap metal at the junk yard.

What if they have emo-itis and like to get physical?

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: Aikouka

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
If a girl is very into she will have no problem getting physical by the 3rd date. unless she has major hang ups, emotional issues etc......in which case my advice would be to leave the scrap metal at the junk yard.

What if they have emo-itis and like to get physical?

then roll with it until the next freak comes along!

 

[NakaNaka]

You definitely need to hang out w. her again and make a move if it feels right. Which it probably will if its anything like the first meeting. She definitely seems to be into you. Go for it, and let us know how it goes!

 

[Aikouka]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
then roll with it until the next freak comes along!

What if you're worried that she just wants you for the security that you can provide, 'cause you've made something for yourself and well... she not so much . No... I'm not getting specific here .

 

[Mo0o]

She's interested but the important thing to is establish that you're interested. While you're hanging out, make sure to flirt with her, not just casual conversation that you'd have with anybody. And make sure to touch her, making physical contact. You dont have to grab a boob to convey that you're itnerested.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: Aikouka

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
then roll with it until the next freak comes along!

What if you're worried that she just wants you for the security that you can provide, 'cause you've made something for yourself and well... she not so much . No... I'm not getting specific here .

slap her and ask her who daddy's little run away is

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex
i don't know, that just seems pushy to me. even if the girl is perfect, but doesn't want to get intimate that soon, you'd just drop her?

I'm not saying there are not exceptions. But a perfect girl......like a perfect 10....if she was stand off-ish still by the 3rd date she's just not that into me, she probably has other guys she's seeing i'm just a fall back. I would back off, stop calling etc. If she came back at me i'd give her another shot only because she is a 10. Im not saying there has to be sex but by the 3rd date there has to be something physical going on and some very strong signals that she is into you. If a girl is very into she will have no problem getting physical by the 3rd date. unless she has major hang ups, emotional issues etc......in which case my advice would be to leave the scrap metal at the junk yard.

would you say light touching, like arms, shoulders, etc., a peck on the cheek, or holding hands type of thing is enough physical contact to warrant keeping it going?

i guess when i hear being physical i think intimately, like a BJ or sex.

 

[Aikouka]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
slap her and ask her who daddy's little run away is

Haha, I prefer the ignoring method personally... any girl who brings up marrying someone after meeting them once is a bit off methinks :Q.

It's a crazy world out there.

EDIT:

Originally posted by: pontifex
would you say light touching, like arms, shoulders, etc., a peck on the cheek, or holding hands type of thing is enough physical contact to warrant keeping it going?

i guess when i hear being physical i think intimately, like a BJ or sex.

I'd say your first set sounds about right... physical doesn't imply sexual although sexual does imply physical .

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex
i don't know, that just seems pushy to me. even if the girl is perfect, but doesn't want to get intimate that soon, you'd just drop her?

I'm not saying there are not exceptions. But a perfect girl......like a perfect 10....if she was stand off-ish still by the 3rd date she's just not that into me, she probably has other guys she's seeing i'm just a fall back. I would back off, stop calling etc. If she came back at me i'd give her another shot only because she is a 10. Im not saying there has to be sex but by the 3rd date there has to be something physical going on and some very strong signals that she is into you. If a girl is very into she will have no problem getting physical by the 3rd date. unless she has major hang ups, emotional issues etc......in which case my advice would be to leave the scrap metal at the junk yard.

would you say light touching, like arms, shoulders, etc., a peck on the cheek, or holding hands type of thing is enough physical contact to warrant keeping it going?

i guess when i hear being physical i think intimately, like a BJ or sex.

light touching imo should be going on way before the third date. preferable as soon as possible. deep tongue kissing and heavy petting would be acceptable for a 3rd date. Seriously how much would it suck to be on date 20 and find out the person can't kiss and is totally awkward when they hook up.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex
i don't know, that just seems pushy to me. even if the girl is perfect, but doesn't want to get intimate that soon, you'd just drop her?

I'm not saying there are not exceptions. But a perfect girl......like a perfect 10....if she was stand off-ish still by the 3rd date she's just not that into me, she probably has other guys she's seeing i'm just a fall back. I would back off, stop calling etc. If she came back at me i'd give her another shot only because she is a 10. Im not saying there has to be sex but by the 3rd date there has to be something physical going on and some very strong signals that she is into you. If a girl is very into she will have no problem getting physical by the 3rd date. unless she has major hang ups, emotional issues etc......in which case my advice would be to leave the scrap metal at the junk yard.

would you say light touching, like arms, shoulders, etc., a peck on the cheek, or holding hands type of thing is enough physical contact to warrant keeping it going?

i guess when i hear being physical i think intimately, like a BJ or sex.

light touching imo should be going on way before the third date. preferable as soon as possible. deep tongue kissing and heavy petting would be acceptable for a 3rd date. Seriously how much would it suck to be on date 20 and find out the person can't kiss and is totally awkward when they hook up.

i've never been in that situation but i'd hope by date 20 that i knew whether or not i enjoyed their company. If I did enjoy being with her, it might be something that could be overlooked.

how would anyone get any practice if everyone upped and left as soon as they found out they didn't kiss well? just seems like people too focused on the physical aspect.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex
i don't know, that just seems pushy to me. even if the girl is perfect, but doesn't want to get intimate that soon, you'd just drop her?

I'm not saying there are not exceptions. But a perfect girl......like a perfect 10....if she was stand off-ish still by the 3rd date she's just not that into me, she probably has other guys she's seeing i'm just a fall back. I would back off, stop calling etc. If she came back at me i'd give her another shot only because she is a 10. Im not saying there has to be sex but by the 3rd date there has to be something physical going on and some very strong signals that she is into you. If a girl is very into she will have no problem getting physical by the 3rd date. unless she has major hang ups, emotional issues etc......in which case my advice would be to leave the scrap metal at the junk yard.

would you say light touching, like arms, shoulders, etc., a peck on the cheek, or holding hands type of thing is enough physical contact to warrant keeping it going?

i guess when i hear being physical i think intimately, like a BJ or sex.

light touching imo should be going on way before the third date. preferable as soon as possible. deep tongue kissing and heavy petting would be acceptable for a 3rd date. Seriously how much would it suck to be on date 20 and find out the person can't kiss and is totally awkward when they hook up.

i've never been in that situation but i'd hope by date 20 that i knew whether or not i enjoyed their company. If I did enjoy being with her, it might be something that could be overlooked.

how would anyone get any practice if everyone upped and left as soon as they found out they didn't kiss well? just seems like people too focused on the physical aspect.

physical chemistry is a must. its not optional. I think you like to hide behind this facade of needing to know someone's soul before you get physical. Its a saftey net for you an excuse not to escalate and risk rejection.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: pontifex
i don't know, that just seems pushy to me. even if the girl is perfect, but doesn't want to get intimate that soon, you'd just drop her?

I'm not saying there are not exceptions. But a perfect girl......like a perfect 10....if she was stand off-ish still by the 3rd date she's just not that into me, she probably has other guys she's seeing i'm just a fall back. I would back off, stop calling etc. If she came back at me i'd give her another shot only because she is a 10. Im not saying there has to be sex but by the 3rd date there has to be something physical going on and some very strong signals that she is into you. If a girl is very into she will have no problem getting physical by the 3rd date. unless she has major hang ups, emotional issues etc......in which case my advice would be to leave the scrap metal at the junk yard.

would you say light touching, like arms, shoulders, etc., a peck on the cheek, or holding hands type of thing is enough physical contact to warrant keeping it going?

i guess when i hear being physical i think intimately, like a BJ or sex.

light touching imo should be going on way before the third date. preferable as soon as possible. deep tongue kissing and heavy petting would be acceptable for a 3rd date. Seriously how much would it suck to be on date 20 and find out the person can't kiss and is totally awkward when they hook up.

i've never been in that situation but i'd hope by date 20 that i knew whether or not i enjoyed their company. If I did enjoy being with her, it might be something that could be overlooked.

how would anyone get any practice if everyone upped and left as soon as they found out they didn't kiss well? just seems like people too focused on the physical aspect.

physical chemistry is a must. its not optional. I think you like to hide behind this facade of needing to know someone's soul before you get physical. Its a saftey net for you an excuse not to escalate and risk rejection.

so lets say this person is a 10 in everything except kissing. you love everything about this person but they can't kiss. that would make you stop seeing them?

i don't think its a facade at all. a relationship should be based on trust and all that stuff, not whether she put out on the 2nd date. there's more to it than the physical aspect. i'm not syaing the physical aspect isn't important, because it is. i wouldn't date anyone i didn't find attractive, that wouldn't make sense.

if you're talking about just getting sex or just having a one night stand type of thing, then i pretty much agree with you, but if you're talking long term meaningful relationship, then no way.