- Mar 4, 2000
- 3,496
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Cliff notes at the bottom
I ran into this girl about 5 months ago and we started talking again. Out of nowhere, she says something like "Wanna go grab a bite to eat with me sometime?" You all can probably tell by now that I can be a bit of a smartass sometimes. So I said to her, "Oh you mean take you out on a date?" totally putting her on the spot there. She said something like, "Well yeah but you don't have to make it sound so formal hehe."
We didn't go out on a date because I was preoccupied with this other girl [we'll just call her "Biggest Lying Whore I've Ever Met in My Life" (this is another story for another time).
Jenn was dating this other guy, but nothing serious because he had other girls which she knew about (but they don't know about her, you will see how I used this fact to my advantage in poisoning her against this guy later on).
One day, out of nowhere, I start talking to her and she asks me if I want to take cooking classes with her. This is where the path comes to a fork in the road. I chose the path less traveled, I chose to get it over with once and for all.
I lay my cards on the table like so: I?m not interested in being just friends. I told her that if we were just going to be friends and nothing more then I?d rather we not communicate at all because such a situation just complicates my life. After a lengthy discussion (I will spare you all from the torture of reading the conversation), she said, ?What IF we start spending more time together and I start to like you??
Ladder-theorists chime in, please because I want to take opinions from all sides. I am well informed as to what the Ladder Theory is and what it entails. For the record, I am not in it to get into her pants just for the sake of getting laid.
Ok here is where it gets confusing and weird for me. She started calling, txting, and emailing me. She has asked me to have dinner with her more than 5 times total. I?ve gone to dinner with her twice and once for lunch. Neither one of us acknowledged that those were ?dates.? Both times when I had dinner with her was after she got off work on Saturday night. The other time for lunch was on Saturday afternoon before she went to work. Keep in mind that these events took place in a 2 or 3-week timeframe. LOL she just txted me as I am writing this post and asked if I want to have dinner with her tonight (it?s Friday, not Saturday, shouldn?t be out with that guy?).
There?s a note on the lunch event. On Friday September 23rd, I was invited to my best friend?s wife?s birthday party and I?ve told Jenn about it a few days before. For whatever reason, she didn?t call me until 8:05PM that night when I was already at the party (I think it was my fault in neglecting to tell her exactly what time the party was at, she went shopping that day after work).
I called her at 6PM and since she didn?t call me by 7PM, I left without her (yeah I know, but I wasn?t going to wait around forever). She calls me when I am almost at my friend?s place in San Jose (we live in the East Bay so it?s 40 minutes each way, I wasn?t going to turn around and go get her). She sounded a bit disappointed but told me to have fun. I offered to make it up to her and that?s how we went to lunch before she went to work the following Saturday morning.
About a month ago, I went over to her house and spent a few hours fixing her computer. While I am doing this, she is using the laptop which I brought over (it has DeadAim on it, I will explain the significance of this in a minute). Later, I find out she was on AIM and I was going through and deleting the logs which were automatically generated. I admit, I am an ass for doing what I did, but I read some of her logs. There were two which particularly stuck out:
1). She was having a conversation with a guy friend of hers and this gentleman asked her how things were with her ?bf,? to which she replied, ?Ehhh, things are ok? and quickly changes the subject, ?How are you? Have a girlfriend yet??
2). This conversation was with the guy in question. He spent the entire time pestering her about going clubbing at the while she hints that she has little or no interest in going. After about 40 minutes of me being there, he begins to ask if ?he is still there.? She tells him that she?ll go have dinner with ?this friend? after ?he is done fixing my computer.? This guy says, ?Just go to one of the fast-food places around the corner, get him a burger and call it good.? She didn?t sound particularly pleased with this comment.
So by now, I finish fixing the computer and we went to a late night dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. We sat and talked for about an hour. Get this, we talked about relationships, careers, marriage, and children. She basically says she wishes to be married in about 2 years and a few years after that before starting a family. She laughs at the jokes I make here and there. Dinner is over, we both go home (we drove separately since she worked that night). She called me to let me know she was safely home.
Now here comes the part where I poisoned her against the other guy: A few weeks ago (before the birthday party gig) she became ill as a result of food-poisoning from a potluck at work. She tells me no one is there to take care of her. Since I am notorious for missing windows of opportunities in the past, I decided not to allow history repeat itself. Upon mustering up the courage, I said, without a second though, ?Where the fvck is your so called bf? You?re sick and he?s nowhere in sight. If my gf were sick, I?d be over there taking care of her; she wouldn?t even have to ask me.? She didn?t make any replies with regards to what I said. At this point, I get dressed and drive down to Walgreens to get her some Pepto-Bismol and some Echinacea. May I point out that I waited in line at the most ghetto Walgreens in the city?whenever I come here, my pulse races because I literally don?t know if I am going to get jacked as I am exiting the store while getting back to my car. I rush over there and give her the medicine and she gives me the look like ?wow that?s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me?-kind of look. To which I replied in my mind, ?Then why aren?t we making out?? Anyways, I digress. I wished her well and was on my way.
After this incident, she becomes increasingly more attentive?I test this observation by not calling/texting or IM?ing her when I see her online. She does all of that stuff now. Usually she?ll ask if I want to go have dinner with her and that?s it. This time she says let?s go have dinner and chit-chat for a bit. We?ve been at this for approximately 1.5 months. The weird part is she kind of considers this other guy a bf and kind of not <--is this even possible? She says, "Oh he's just some guy I date."
I want to just come right out and ask where I stand?am I on the right path or am in the dreaded ?friend zone?? If it?s the latter, I am just going to disappear. So before I take this step, I need outside observers to give me some insight. Thanks.
Cliff notes:
1) Lost touch with girl from high school, recently began talking again
2). Hung out with girl several times (she'd ask me to dinner)
3). Lay ?I don?t want to be just friends?-cards on the table
4). Girl got sick, I drove over with medicine
5). Girl now IMs/txt?s/calls/emails often
6). Question: What are the girl?s intentions?
She wants to go have dinner tonight; I want her, but is now a good time to confront her about the situation?
Update: We went and saw a movie last night (Just Like Heaven) then had a late dinner. We spent some time talking about this and that. Hmm she kept smiling at me whenever I look at her. I'll wait a few weeks when she is free then I'll take her on a real date, if the waters feel good, I'll make a move, if not I'll be done with her. I'll keep this updated.
I ran into this girl about 5 months ago and we started talking again. Out of nowhere, she says something like "Wanna go grab a bite to eat with me sometime?" You all can probably tell by now that I can be a bit of a smartass sometimes. So I said to her, "Oh you mean take you out on a date?" totally putting her on the spot there. She said something like, "Well yeah but you don't have to make it sound so formal hehe."
We didn't go out on a date because I was preoccupied with this other girl [we'll just call her "Biggest Lying Whore I've Ever Met in My Life" (this is another story for another time).
Jenn was dating this other guy, but nothing serious because he had other girls which she knew about (but they don't know about her, you will see how I used this fact to my advantage in poisoning her against this guy later on).
One day, out of nowhere, I start talking to her and she asks me if I want to take cooking classes with her. This is where the path comes to a fork in the road. I chose the path less traveled, I chose to get it over with once and for all.
I lay my cards on the table like so: I?m not interested in being just friends. I told her that if we were just going to be friends and nothing more then I?d rather we not communicate at all because such a situation just complicates my life. After a lengthy discussion (I will spare you all from the torture of reading the conversation), she said, ?What IF we start spending more time together and I start to like you??
Ladder-theorists chime in, please because I want to take opinions from all sides. I am well informed as to what the Ladder Theory is and what it entails. For the record, I am not in it to get into her pants just for the sake of getting laid.
Ok here is where it gets confusing and weird for me. She started calling, txting, and emailing me. She has asked me to have dinner with her more than 5 times total. I?ve gone to dinner with her twice and once for lunch. Neither one of us acknowledged that those were ?dates.? Both times when I had dinner with her was after she got off work on Saturday night. The other time for lunch was on Saturday afternoon before she went to work. Keep in mind that these events took place in a 2 or 3-week timeframe. LOL she just txted me as I am writing this post and asked if I want to have dinner with her tonight (it?s Friday, not Saturday, shouldn?t be out with that guy?).
There?s a note on the lunch event. On Friday September 23rd, I was invited to my best friend?s wife?s birthday party and I?ve told Jenn about it a few days before. For whatever reason, she didn?t call me until 8:05PM that night when I was already at the party (I think it was my fault in neglecting to tell her exactly what time the party was at, she went shopping that day after work).
I called her at 6PM and since she didn?t call me by 7PM, I left without her (yeah I know, but I wasn?t going to wait around forever). She calls me when I am almost at my friend?s place in San Jose (we live in the East Bay so it?s 40 minutes each way, I wasn?t going to turn around and go get her). She sounded a bit disappointed but told me to have fun. I offered to make it up to her and that?s how we went to lunch before she went to work the following Saturday morning.
About a month ago, I went over to her house and spent a few hours fixing her computer. While I am doing this, she is using the laptop which I brought over (it has DeadAim on it, I will explain the significance of this in a minute). Later, I find out she was on AIM and I was going through and deleting the logs which were automatically generated. I admit, I am an ass for doing what I did, but I read some of her logs. There were two which particularly stuck out:
1). She was having a conversation with a guy friend of hers and this gentleman asked her how things were with her ?bf,? to which she replied, ?Ehhh, things are ok? and quickly changes the subject, ?How are you? Have a girlfriend yet??
2). This conversation was with the guy in question. He spent the entire time pestering her about going clubbing at the while she hints that she has little or no interest in going. After about 40 minutes of me being there, he begins to ask if ?he is still there.? She tells him that she?ll go have dinner with ?this friend? after ?he is done fixing my computer.? This guy says, ?Just go to one of the fast-food places around the corner, get him a burger and call it good.? She didn?t sound particularly pleased with this comment.
So by now, I finish fixing the computer and we went to a late night dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. We sat and talked for about an hour. Get this, we talked about relationships, careers, marriage, and children. She basically says she wishes to be married in about 2 years and a few years after that before starting a family. She laughs at the jokes I make here and there. Dinner is over, we both go home (we drove separately since she worked that night). She called me to let me know she was safely home.
Now here comes the part where I poisoned her against the other guy: A few weeks ago (before the birthday party gig) she became ill as a result of food-poisoning from a potluck at work. She tells me no one is there to take care of her. Since I am notorious for missing windows of opportunities in the past, I decided not to allow history repeat itself. Upon mustering up the courage, I said, without a second though, ?Where the fvck is your so called bf? You?re sick and he?s nowhere in sight. If my gf were sick, I?d be over there taking care of her; she wouldn?t even have to ask me.? She didn?t make any replies with regards to what I said. At this point, I get dressed and drive down to Walgreens to get her some Pepto-Bismol and some Echinacea. May I point out that I waited in line at the most ghetto Walgreens in the city?whenever I come here, my pulse races because I literally don?t know if I am going to get jacked as I am exiting the store while getting back to my car. I rush over there and give her the medicine and she gives me the look like ?wow that?s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me?-kind of look. To which I replied in my mind, ?Then why aren?t we making out?? Anyways, I digress. I wished her well and was on my way.
After this incident, she becomes increasingly more attentive?I test this observation by not calling/texting or IM?ing her when I see her online. She does all of that stuff now. Usually she?ll ask if I want to go have dinner with her and that?s it. This time she says let?s go have dinner and chit-chat for a bit. We?ve been at this for approximately 1.5 months. The weird part is she kind of considers this other guy a bf and kind of not <--is this even possible? She says, "Oh he's just some guy I date."
I want to just come right out and ask where I stand?am I on the right path or am in the dreaded ?friend zone?? If it?s the latter, I am just going to disappear. So before I take this step, I need outside observers to give me some insight. Thanks.
Cliff notes:
1) Lost touch with girl from high school, recently began talking again
2). Hung out with girl several times (she'd ask me to dinner)
3). Lay ?I don?t want to be just friends?-cards on the table
4). Girl got sick, I drove over with medicine
5). Girl now IMs/txt?s/calls/emails often
6). Question: What are the girl?s intentions?
She wants to go have dinner tonight; I want her, but is now a good time to confront her about the situation?
Update: We went and saw a movie last night (Just Like Heaven) then had a late dinner. We spent some time talking about this and that. Hmm she kept smiling at me whenever I look at her. I'll wait a few weeks when she is free then I'll take her on a real date, if the waters feel good, I'll make a move, if not I'll be done with her. I'll keep this updated.
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