"Who I am" is realy more of a case of "What I will put up with" relationships teach you this more than anything else. Look at what you liked about your past relationships and listen to what your significant others said about you. After all they are a mirrror of you, and it is this mirror of you that you cannot, without keen observation, normally see.
Good friends to you, but what about between themselves? You made a reference to only seeing some of your friend 6 times in the last 6 years. Would these people be included in that group? If so I would give pause to some thought about this...
Faxed my resume to the corporate HR guy today. He should be calling me soon.
Everybody cross your fingers for me!
Also on the update list, I have narrowed my new car choices to the following: 2005 Mustang(v6 I was only approved for 23,000) or a 2005 Ranger.
Everybody cross your fingers for me!
Also on the update list, I have narrowed my new car choices to the following: 2005 Mustang(v6
I was only approved for 23,000) or a 2005 Ranger.have you even tried counselling yet? it sounds like you're throwning away a salvagable marriage.
Wayne, you didn't take those vows for nothing. Certainly make an effort, even if it means putting your computer away, which is something i've had to think about doing myself if my relationship with my wife gets to a different level. And trust me, i'm as addicted to gaming/PC/chatting as anyone else.
I just hate to see people lose everything they have over what really is nothing more than a hunk of metal sitting on top of a desk.
If there is just absolutely nothing you can do (marraige counseling), then i'd say go with your heart. Possibly just get what you might feel is a new start. If that means going back to your hometown, finding a good job there that you like, then go for it. Go find you a place that you'd like to settle into and maybe find another wife. Maybe give yourself a chance to pack that old piece of metal back and get a new hobbie that you and a significant other can enjoy together in the future (i know it is probably a little to early to think about that kind of thing). Anyhow, I wish you luck in whatever decision you make.
I just hate to see people lose everything they have over what really is nothing more than a hunk of metal sitting on top of a desk.
If there is just absolutely nothing you can do (marraige counseling), then i'd say go with your heart. Possibly just get what you might feel is a new start. If that means going back to your hometown, finding a good job there that you like, then go for it. Go find you a place that you'd like to settle into and maybe find another wife. Maybe give yourself a chance to pack that old piece of metal back and get a new hobbie that you and a significant other can enjoy together in the future (i know it is probably a little to early to think about that kind of thing). Anyhow, I wish you luck in whatever decision you make.
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
There are no kids, he gets to keep the bulk of his assets, she walks away 10 years older,every way you slice it his prospects for having the quality of his life improve just got 100x better. Why would he bother trying to salvage things ?
i know i'm in the minority, but i've always believed that those vows count for something. I've never seen anyone go through a divorce and not suffer.
That, and I just hate divorce in general after having to witness my 'rents go through it. My dad never really got over his second divorce, and that was a similar situation... no kids, amicable parting, she just fell out of love, etc. He kind of fell off the deep end afterwards. I can understand it in cases of adultery, abuse, and abandonment, but if none of those are present and people still divorce, there might be some deeper issues they have to deal with.
A 401k might be a good analogy... you can invest in it for years and years, but if you decide you want to cash out before you retire for no good reason (hardship), you're going to get screwed out on what you could have had.
That, and I just hate divorce in general after having to witness my 'rents go through it. My dad never really got over his second divorce, and that was a similar situation... no kids, amicable parting, she just fell out of love, etc. He kind of fell off the deep end afterwards. I can understand it in cases of adultery, abuse, and abandonment, but if none of those are present and people still divorce, there might be some deeper issues they have to deal with.
A 401k might be a good analogy... you can invest in it for years and years, but if you decide you want to cash out before you retire for no good reason (hardship), you're going to get screwed out on what you could have had.
Koing
Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
- Oct 11, 2000
- 16,843
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I'm definately with you. Marriage is forever.
If my parents can be married for 22yrs and my grandparents for 58yrs+ so can people if they work it out.
A lot of people go on about the divorce rates BUT if the divorce rates are one way THEN look at the other 2/3 or 1/2 or whatever the figure is. They are married.
Koing
Well dangit, I guess I broke them thar unwritten update rules
Geekbabe was right on with what she said.
The marriage is over, my wife and I pretty much abandoned each other emotionally, we have come to realize that neither of us was happy. I feel more confident than ever, and I have been more responsible than ever befor in the past few months. I was with my wife for a total of 7 years, and I never grew as a person in those 7 years. I grew complacent, and I became lazy(not about work, but socially).
Originally posted by: Wanescotting
Well dangit, I guess I broke them thar unwritten update rules
Geekbabe was right on with what she said.
The marriage is over, my wife and I pretty much abandoned each other emotionally, we have come to realize that neither of us was happy. I feel more confident than ever, and I have been more responsible than ever befor in the past few months. I was with my wife for a total of 7 years, and I never grew as a person in those 7 years. I grew complacent, and I became lazy(not about work, but socially).
I find that my marriage is very similar to yours. But we not only have kids, but my wife is disabled and wholly dependant on me so we'll never split up.
Originally posted by: DurocShark
Originally posted by: Wanescotting
Well dangit, I guess I broke them thar unwritten update rules
Geekbabe was right on with what she said.
The marriage is over, my wife and I pretty much abandoned each other emotionally, we have come to realize that neither of us was happy. I feel more confident than ever, and I have been more responsible than ever befor in the past few months. I was with my wife for a total of 7 years, and I never grew as a person in those 7 years. I grew complacent, and I became lazy(not about work, but socially).
I find that my marriage is very similar to yours. But we not only have kids, but my wife is disabled and wholly dependant on me so we'll never split up.
Damn, sorry to hear that. My wife(soon to be ex) has MS.
Originally posted by: Actaeon
You've probally done this.
Talk to her, let her know you'll change? Treat her out for dinner everyday if you have to. Cook for her?
Sorry to hear
yeah man at least try to patch things up first, then if it doesnt work then you know what to do
Originally posted by: otispunkmeyer
Originally posted by: Actaeon
You've probally done this.
Talk to her, let her know you'll change? Treat her out for dinner everyday if you have to. Cook for her?
Sorry to hear
yeah man at least try to patch things up first, then if it doesnt work then you know what to do
Nah, it is over(save for the paper work). In the last few months I have found that I am happy being alone at the moment. But, when I do find someone, I won't "go into their world". I am going to be who I am.
UPDATE: I went for the job interview, and I will be going back for a 2nd interview at some point.
YEAH!!!
I got my new vehicle also. It is a new 2004 ranger(edge). Power locks, keyless entry, 6 cd changer, cruise control (controls on the steering wheel), tilt, abs, and it is a flareside..
I paid the dealership $100 over invoice for it........$17500. I think I did great on my first new car purchase. It was $19582 out the door (taxes, title, license, and gap insurance)
YEAH!!!
I got my new vehicle also. It is a new 2004 ranger(edge). Power locks, keyless entry, 6 cd changer, cruise control (controls on the steering wheel), tilt, abs, and it is a flareside..
I paid the dealership $100 over invoice for it........$17500. I think I did great on my first new car purchase. It was $19582 out the door (taxes, title, license, and gap insurance)
I think in marriage, accepting your spouse as who they are is more important than trying to understand who they are.
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