YAGT: Cheated on....

[Megadeth]

I'm not usually big on posting about relationship things but I thought that maybe for once I should so I can vent some feelings....
The woman I have been in a committed exclusive relationship with for over 3 years had broken up with me a couple weeks ago... Over the past year she had broken up with me 3 times and within a month begged me back... I know it's stupid on my part but I really thought she was the one; I was being stupid and naive. There were so many clues that there was this one guy that used to be in love with in high school had been somewhat in the picture for at least the half year... Every time he came back to town to visit in the past year is when she broke up with me... Coincidence? For the past year every time we were back together I drilled her about this guy... She lied to me the entire time saying that
They were only friends and she was not attracted to him anymore...There were so many clues! The little lies she told me... The little broken promises.... I don't want to get into too many details on things... I just want to say that I found out some things about her though a friend.... I called her up and she after telling her how I knew (not to mention I listed out all the clues) she finally admitted to it.... I have never been so crushed and hurt in my entire life... I never imagined that someone who tells me for 3 years that they are in love with me, I am their best friend, they care about me more than life itself and wants to marry me one day could end up lying to me, cheating on me and hurting me so much. The whole 3 years comes into question now... How many other times did she cheat on me and lie to me? Was the whole thing one big lie? How many other people did she sleep with.... As it is, I knew I would never know these things so as soon as I found out for sure that she cheated on me with at least one person I went and got and STD test done... I'm hoping nothing will come up; I wont get the results back until Monday.... It's sad... I told her I hate her... I never told anyone that in my entire life... She simply replied, "I know"... I said it sounds like you don?t even care... She said "I don?t" and then I gave her the Big F you and hung up....
I just wish I wasn?t so depressed and hurt right now... I just want to move on with my life but I just keep seeing images of her and him, and I keep seeing the memories I shared with her and keep thinking was it all meaningless.... I feel really used and I feel like I had been taken for granted.... What hurts about all of this the most is that I thought deep down inside that she was a better person than that, I thought she was caring, honest and had good morals.... Now that I've vented a bit, how do I continue to move and heal from this?

 

[purbeast0]

dude please edit your post to have some kind of formatting. no one is going to read it that way, its too hard on the eyes.

 

[Patt]

It wasn't meaningless ... it might not have been exactly what you thought it was, but nothing is meaningless. Learn from it and you'll be OK. Get out there and meet other people, put it in the past, don't dwell on it. Be happy that you found out when you did, and sever ALL ties.

Good luck MD.

 

[DivideBYZero]

She's a slut. BONG!

 

[Mucho]

Dont cry because it ended laugh because it happned.

 

[eyecandy86]

I actually read most of that. Kinda skimmed it.

That sucks man. People suck. At least you found out though.

Taking her back 3 times like that was stupid. You should've given up on her when she broke up w/you when the other dude was in town.

That's pretty rough. You'll be alright. Have some :beer:

 

[pclstyle]

don't stay down for too long, or the bitch will win.

 

[iroast]

Salutations, Mr. Doormat. How do you do?

 

[waggy]

sorry she is a slut. but maybe she left you because of how you format a paragraph?

 

[HardcoreRobot]

yup, then they just admit they are scum, that you dont deserve them and that somehow makes it ok

 

[Cal166]

I feel you dawg. My last relationship lasted about 4 years and up until the last year of the relationship was all LIES. Women are EVIL.

Just hang out with friends and meet new people. Just have fun

Oh if you want to get revenage, post up some naked pictures of her. It'll make you feel better.

 

[lightpants]

How old are you?
Seriously, don't let this F you up for too long, you will look back in time and see that it wasn't as big of a loss as you feel it is now. It probably does not seem like it at this time, but it will get better.

 

[AutumnRayne]

Sorry to hear that. Only advice I can offer is just keep moving on, even on those days where you think you can't. I would definately advise not jumping back into another relationship too soon. Take some time for yourself. Reconnect with old friends, pick up on an old hobby, just find something that you enjoy doing. Most importantly, as others have stated, make sure you learn from this. Count yourself lucky that you have found out now, it might not seem like it to you but things could have been a lot worse. Imagine if you hadn't found out about this until after you were married to her, or possibly had kids with her. Remember there is no set amount of time it will take to get over it, just take the time you need.

Know that not all women are like that. So don't let one bad apple ruin your future happiness. You deserve better than her, if she could treat you that way you are better off without her.

 

[brigden]

It's cliche as Hell, but time does heal all wounds.

You're going to hurt. It's going to take time. You can either feel sorry for yourself and get depressed during this time, or you can look at it from a positive perspective and know that she wasn't the one and that you will meet another woman and your life will get better.

Go out with your mates, get drunk. Listen to music. Work out. Do whatever you need to do to occupy yourself.

Good luck.

 

[gigapet]

happened to me too. Its an important lesson to learn though...I am glad I did.

The best thing you can do for yourself is go out and bang like ten other girls. You will quickly forget.

Lessons learned:

- 98% of girls will cheat if given the discreet opportunity to do so
- 98% of girls will lie about cheating and anything else that is convienient for them right to your face and not feel bad about it(at least for a while)
-98% of girls will manipulate you as much as you let them and not feel bad about it
-98% of girls will suck the life right out of you if you let them


So the solution is to wait around for the good 2% or learn how to beat the 98% at their own game.

:beer: cheer up

 

[MrChad]

:music:
Give me my money back
Give me my money back, you bitch.
Give me my money back
And don't forget
To give me back my black T-shirt
:music:

 

[Aimster]

2 months ago I lost my girlfriend/fiance of almost 3 years.

Just before she ended it with me she told me she wanted to marry me like she always said. I bought her a ring and she accepted it. I bought a place next to her and she was excited about it. I decided to stay here for school because of her. I had a job that I eventually lost at the end because of the drama I had to deal with when she ended it.

We broke up because she was interested in other guys and wanted to experience life.

She's 20.and wanted to know for sure if I was the one.

She said things like:
"I was never in love with you"
"Sometimes I thought about killing myself because I felt stuck with you"
"I was only with you because you were nice to me and I didnt want to hurt you"
"I don't know what love is"
"I don't love you"

Then she tells me how she messed around with some dude who happens to call my cell and tells me "dude let her go she wants to be with me". That asshole.

In the end she came back and I am with her. Guess why she is with me? Because I pay for her school (well I did). She expects me to pay for it next semester or she has no way of going to school. I haven't told her that I'm not going to pay for it. When she was my fiance sure, but now I think not.

So right now I'm not really happy. She's with me because she wants to use me. I haven't seen her in a week. She says she is busy. Why am I still with her? For some ass and that's it. I know the love is gone.

Feel better. Don't be like me and let a bitch ruin your life. I was in your shoes and still am. She was the only friend I had. She was all I had. She left and I was down for a month. Had to Withdrawl from classes and lose my job because she was a bitch. I picked myself back up now, but I know its the hardest thing for you to do but just live life without worrying about some bitch.

how do you get over this? Never contact her again and change your number right now.

 

[meltdown75]

If I could convey to you how much better off you are without her, you would experience an immediate surge out of the depths of your depression.

consider this: if she was unfaithful to you throughout the relationship and people that she dates in the future know about it (which they apparently do in this case), she will never be trusted. so take some petty solace in the fact that they probably won't be happy anyway. they both sound like shallow individuals, while you are not. let them be together, good riddance i say.

hold your head up, have some pride, and shed some skin. if you can make it through this time, you will emerge 10 times better for it. hang in there, you can do it. take it one minute at a time if you have to.

and cheers - :beer:

 

[Alex]

fsck that sucks man... been in a 3 year relationship before and its not easy to get over it after its done... specially if you are not the one doing the breaking up...
either way, like you said taking her back 3 times was pretty stupid... don't let it bring you down though... you sound like a decent loyal guy and this girl is obviously not good enough for you...
and like someone else said too, it wasn't worthless... you must have learned a lot and by that i don't mean "all women suck, don't ever trust them" or anything like that... i'm sure this relationship taught you a lot about yourself and life in general etc...
anyway sounds cliche but there are many other fish in the sea... REALLY! i've been in love 2 times and i never thought i would get over either one... sure one relationship was tougher than the other but in the end i got over it and i'm fine now! many ppl never fall in love or only do it later in life... be glad that you shared this time with someone, and move on!

go out, get drunk, get your buddies to buy you lapdances...
more power to ya! :beer:

 

[huesmann]

Cliffs Notes?

 

[dmcowen674]

Originally posted by: Megadeth
Now that I've vented a bit, how do I continue to move and heal from this?

Well, you learned women suck.

Don't do anything stupid or off yourself and you will be fine a live on.

That doesn't mean that if you truly loved her deep in your heart that you will ever forget her, just means the pain won't be as bad that you can survive.

The song "I will survive" applies to men too.

 

[chowmein]

:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:

'nuff said.

this could be a blessing in disgust. its summer time baby! summer time!

 

[Bumrush99]

Time is the only thing that will heal this wound. Make sure to stay busy, sitting at home will only drive you mad.
Do not get back with her under any circumstances. Do not take her phone calls, eliminate all contact with her. Speaking to her will only drag out the process. You can never trust her again, she is a two timing good for nothing slut- Don't ever forget that, even in your weakest moments

 

[Horus]

From my own personal experiences, a few ways to get your mind off the pain:

SPEND FRIVIOUSLY. If you see something you want, and can afford it, GET IT. Seriously. You'll feel a crapload better about yourself.

GO OUT WITH FRIENDS. The very last thing you want to do is shut yourself up in your house, and recluse yourself. Let your friends help. They're usually there for you, and would be glad to make you feel better by trashing the whore.

GET BACK IN THE DATING GAME. Don't get rusty. Go to bars, clubs, whatever. Try to hook up with some girls. Is there someone you thought was cute at a bar, but didn't wanna approach her because you were taken? Do so now. It never hurts to try, and women appreciate it when men try. Just don't appear desprate. They don't appreciate that.

Just my 0.02

 

[Megadeth]

I know everyone is right... I do have time again to start writing music again and taking up new hobbies... That last time she broke up with me I started rock climbing, I lfound out that I loved it.
This time around one of my room mates who I still don't know that well saw how down I was and decided to teach me to roller balde. Yeah I know I'm almnost 24 and have never been rollerblading or anything like that before. I had a lot of fun with it though, I realized when we got back home that the entire time we were out roller blading I wasnt thinking about her at all.
I know for a fact that I will never take her back again. This was the kind of closure I wish I had almost a year ago the first time she broke up with me so that I would not have wasted the last year getting back together with her.