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YAGT: Cancel one date for another? *update + pics*

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There is NOTHING ethically wrong with calling a woman up and cancelling a date. You are not obligated to hang out with a stranger. Just don't stand her up...

 
you got 1 of 2 options. call #2 and tell her you are sorry blah blah and you have to cancell...make some BS excuse and make SURE that she wont see you out tonight. yes, this would make you seem desperate, but it also makes you able to say "i dropped everything for you tonight" line that is always a good thing to drop. usually if you word it right and emotionally you can get some.

2nd option is to tell girl #1 that you are sorry you cant go out tonight and maybe this weekend. you already made previous plans and you arent the type of guy that would break his word with someone. this way, both stances helps you. you still have potential with girl #2 tonight and then girl #1 is pissed for not going out, but respects you for not breaking plans because she wouldnt want it to be done to her. also, this could show girl #1 that you are wanted individual and she will hump your bones sooner...always a plus!
 
In a situation such as this, you must keep in mind Murphy's Law. "If anything can go wrong, it will". Essentially, assume that you WILL run into Girl #2 while on the date with Gril #1, in which case all hope is lost with Girl #2.

That being said, now you must evaluate which girl is more likely to give you action. From what little you said in the OP, Girl #1 seems to want to hang out with you, while I assume you asked out Girl #2 out on a date. Unless my assumption is wrong, I am led to believe that you want Girl #2. However, you did mention that you barely knew her (which shouldn't be an issue because you go out on dates to get to know the other person better), but you did mention that she spooks you out.

Chances are, you won't be getting action from Girl #1. You played (Edit: Pool) drunk with her and didn't get any action on the table? That's a perfect setup right there to get some poon. You did mention that you found Girl #1 more attractive, which gives her another point. As it stands, here are the point totals.

Girl #1 -> Cuter (+1), Wants to hang out with you (+1), No action while playing pool drunk (-1) = 1
Girl #2 -> You asked her out? (+1), Spooks you out (-1), Go out with her and play hard to get with Girl # 1 (+1) = 1

You -> Fvcked (Game Over)
 
Originally posted by: rh71
cancelling on the day of, if you really didn't have to... that's terrible.

Yeah, you're right. I just sent girl #1 this text message:

"ack! save me! I'm really not in the mood to hang out with Penn [girl #2] but I can;'t flake on her. I already know that I love spending time with you so join us if you can."

I'm not sure if that's the smartest "move" but at least I'm being honest, right?
 
since you've already jerked yourself up, the only move you can make is to take yourself out of the equation........ie: get sick real quick
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: rh71
cancelling on the day of, if you really didn't have to... that's terrible.

Yeah, you're right. I just sent girl #1 this text message:

"ack! save me! I'm really not in the mood to hang out with Penn [girl #2] but I can;'t flake on her. I already know that I love spending time with you so join us if you can."

I'm not sure if that's the smartest "move" but at least I'm being honest, right?

seriously....girl 1 asked you out. It is very bad to say no to a girl who asks you out.

You already asked girl 2 out and that right there gives the power back to her. So flake on her and resheduling on your terms would take the power back.


I would suggest having them both meet you out and not telling them they will both be there but I am unsure you are prepared to handle this scenario.
 
Originally posted by: junkerman123
ethically speaking, yes horrible. would I do it? yes of course.

no big deal... just tell girl#2 that something came up and reschedule for some other time!
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: rh71
cancelling on the day of, if you really didn't have to... that's terrible.

Yeah, you're right. I just sent girl #1 this text message:

"ack! save me! I'm really not in the mood to hang out with Penn [girl #2] but I can;'t flake on her. I already know that I love spending time with you so join us if you can."

I'm not sure if that's the smartest "move" but at least I'm being honest, right?

LOL, I think if the girl your originally had plans with knew you were going to bring another girl along, she'd rather have you flake. You seem pretty shallow and stupid. You think you're doing this girl a favor by not breaking the date but bringing along another girl? You don't deserve either of them....
 
Cancelling date #2 wouldn't be horrible. The have been countless YAGT's on what to do when a girl cancels at the last minute. Anyone that's dated before has been dropped at the last minute. I'd go with a fun night over uncertainty any time.
 
Originally posted by: hysperion
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: rh71
cancelling on the day of, if you really didn't have to... that's terrible.

Yeah, you're right. I just sent girl #1 this text message:

"ack! save me! I'm really not in the mood to hang out with Penn [girl #2] but I can;'t flake on her. I already know that I love spending time with you so join us if you can."

I'm not sure if that's the smartest "move" but at least I'm being honest, right?

LOL, I think if the girl your originally had plans with knew you were going to bring another girl along, she'd rather have you flake. You seem pretty shallow and stupid. You think you're doing this girl a favor by not breaking the date but bringing along another girl? You don't deserve either of them....

This can't be a real situation. If it is.... :Q
 
One time I had a movie date with my ex gf's friend and the ex came back home the day before (she was going to school out of state) and we hung out the whole day. The next day she asked me to come over so of course I did. I called to cancel the movie date with the friend and while she didn't sound too upset on the phone she hasn't spoken to me since(about 4 years). So uh, what's the lesson here? Fvck if I know.
 
Originally posted by: gigapet
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: gigapet
screw it man. Girls flake all the time. They can deal with it. It also shows you are not needy---make sure its a good excuse tho

How about this consideration: if I drop everything for girl #1, will I appear more desperate than I am? In other words, by changing plans for her would that put me in a disadvantage/needy position?

No because she requested the hangout. As in her chasing you. It is ok to hangout with her. Although personally I would I have said that I think I have plans, I will let you know tommorow....this would let you decide whether to make her wait which could increase her buying temperature. But you did tell her you have another date so this also tells her you are a busy guy with other options.


You are in a good spot no matter what you do. Don't make a habit of breaking your plans tho for this girl as she will come to expect it.

Exactly...

And BTW...do what you want to do. If you don't care to burn a bridge to two (and sounds like you wouldn't care to burn bridge to girl #2) then cancel your date with girl #1.

Or take them both out as mentioned above...your not dating girl #2, right? So you can bring a closer friends with you on the outing. What is uncool though, is you should not get overly flirty with girl #1 in the presence of girl #2...that'll just make #2 feel like a 3rd wheel.
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: gigapet
screw it man. Girls flake all the time. They can deal with it. It also shows you are not needy---make sure its a good excuse tho

How about this consideration: if I drop everything for girl #1, will I appear more desperate than I am? In other words, by changing plans for her would that put me in a disadvantage/needy position?

In a word, Yes.

Go on the date originally planned, not just to be nice to the other girl, but to not seem so needy.
 
Originally posted by: gigapet
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: gigapet
screw it man. Girls flake all the time. They can deal with it. It also shows you are not needy---make sure its a good excuse tho

How about this consideration: if I drop everything for girl #1, will I appear more desperate than I am? In other words, by changing plans for her would that put me in a disadvantage/needy position?

No because she requested the hangout. As in her chasing you. It is ok to hangout with her. Although personally I would I have said that I think I have plans, I will let you know tommorow....this would let you decide whether to make her wait which could increase her buying temperature. But you did tell her you have another date so this also tells her you are a busy guy with other options.


You are in a good spot no matter what you do. Don't make a habit of breaking your plans tho for this girl as she will come to expect it.

A busy guy with other options, until he cancels a date to be with her just the next day and appears needy 😛
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: PingSpike
Take them both out, get them wicked drunk and bet it all on the slim threesome chance.

they're both good girls and I'm kinda a good guy, threesome wouldn't happen. now, if it was a threesome with two models who I had no emotional attachment with and didn't have to deal with long, melodramatic phone calls the day after.. sure!

Are you saying you have an emotional attachment to girl #1 and/or girl #2?
 
Originally posted by: fLum0x
you got 1 of 2 options. call #2 and tell her you are sorry blah blah and you have to cancell...make some BS excuse and make SURE that she wont see you out tonight. yes, this would make you seem desperate, but it also makes you able to say "i dropped everything for you tonight" line that is always a good thing to drop. usually if you word it right and emotionally you can get some.

2nd option is to tell girl #1 that you are sorry you cant go out tonight and maybe this weekend. you already made previous plans and you arent the type of guy that would break his word with someone. this way, both stances helps you. you still have potential with girl #2 tonight and then girl #1 is pissed for not going out, but respects you for not breaking plans because she wouldnt want it to be done to her. also, this could show girl #1 that you are wanted individual and she will hump your bones sooner...always a plus!

WIIIIIINNNNAAAARRR!!!
 
Have a mini Elimidate! Go out with both of them and give them until a certain time to impress you and then you will be giving one of them the boot!

 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: rh71
cancelling on the day of, if you really didn't have to... that's terrible.

Yeah, you're right. I just sent girl #1 this text message:

"ack! save me! I'm really not in the mood to hang out with Penn [girl #2] but I can;'t flake on her. I already know that I love spending time with you so join us if you can."

I'm not sure if that's the smartest "move" but at least I'm being honest, right?

wtf....don't ask her to join and don't say you love spending time with her. come on, you barely know her. go on original date as intended and go out with the other girl on another night. it shows that you wont drop everything in a heartbeat for her but still shows you are interested.
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: rh71
cancelling on the day of, if you really didn't have to... that's terrible.

Yeah, you're right. I just sent girl #1 this text message:

"ack! save me! I'm really not in the mood to hang out with Penn [girl #2] but I can;'t flake on her. I already know that I love spending time with you so join us if you can."

I'm not sure if that's the smartest "move" but at least I'm being honest, right?

Oh...my...god... you didn't really send her that message did you?

#1, "ack! save me!" is just odd
#2, you shouldn't have told girl #1 girl #2's name
#3, you shouldn't have used the word "love"

You really are inexperienced arn't you 😀
 
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