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YAGT: Can feelings ever come back from ex-SOs?

A

archcommus

Diamond Member
Hey guys, another YAGT from good ole' archy.

Here's the situation. Broke up with my SO of about 2.5 years about 3 months ago. Been doing good, we still talk a bit, but whatever....either way I've been single. Recently I've been doing some stuff with a girl I dated about 4 years ago when I've been home from school. Obviously, you know how guys are - if you'd hit it, and you're single, you'll keep going with it, am I right? But I've been having fun with her and like her a lot again.

Here's the question: can feelings ever come again from an ex-SO? Let's say four years ago this girl had strong feelings for me and we broke up mutually because we BOTH lost our feelings. Does that invalidate her from ever having feelings for me again or can it happen? I just want to know right off the bat if I should forget ANYTHING ever happening with this girl besides sex.

Cliffs:
1. Been seeing old girlfriend again.
2. Still like her a lot.
3. She lost her feelings for me years ago, can she ever get them again for an old flame (me) or does that never happen?

Post away!
 
you have oneitis dude. Get over it. You only have feelings for her because you have no other options. She has many options she wont likely "regain" those feelings for you. Solution: go out and meet new women.
 
Originally posted by: gigapet
you have oneitis dude. Get over it. You only have feelings for her because you have no other options. She has many options she wont likely "regain" those feelings for you. Solution: go out and meet new women.
Click to expand...

read dude

he's talking about an ex from 4 years ago, not the one he just split up with...
 
Originally posted by: quakefiend420
Originally posted by: gigapet
you have oneitis dude. Get over it. You only have feelings for her because you have no other options. She has many options she wont likely "regain" those feelings for you. Solution: go out and meet new women.
Click to expand...

read dude

he's talking about an ex from 4 years ago, not the one he just split up with...
Click to expand...

I did read. It changes nothing. He is still desperate and is clinging on to something from the past cuz he has no other options.
 
Originally posted by: gigapet
Originally posted by: quakefiend420
Originally posted by: gigapet
you have oneitis dude. Get over it. You only have feelings for her because you have no other options. She has many options she wont likely "regain" those feelings for you. Solution: go out and meet new women.
Click to expand...

read dude

he's talking about an ex from 4 years ago, not the one he just split up with...
Click to expand...

I did read. It changes nothing. He is still desperate and is clinging on to something from the past cuz he has no other options.
Click to expand...

people can change a lot over 4 years...maybe it might work out this time...i think it's kind of closed minded to just assume it's not going to work because it didn't almost a half decade ago, don't you?

i understand the whole oneitis answer is a popular one here, but it's generally used when the person can't get over the most recent ex, not when the rediscover one from two or more relationships ago...
 
Originally posted by: quakefiend420
Originally posted by: gigapet
Originally posted by: quakefiend420
Originally posted by: gigapet
you have oneitis dude. Get over it. You only have feelings for her because you have no other options. She has many options she wont likely "regain" those feelings for you. Solution: go out and meet new women.
Click to expand...

read dude

he's talking about an ex from 4 years ago, not the one he just split up with...
Click to expand...

I did read. It changes nothing. He is still desperate and is clinging on to something from the past cuz he has no other options.
Click to expand...

people can change a lot over 4 years...maybe it might work out this time...i think it's kind of closed minded to just assume it's not going to work because it didn't almost a half decade ago, don't you?

i understand the whole oneitis answer is a popular one here, but it's generally used when the person can't get over the most recent ex, not when the rediscover one from two or more relationships ago...
Click to expand...

do you really believe that this is the case and its not just him being desperate? Im not say its impossible to rekindle a flame with an ex but this seems like a case of pure desperation. If he had alot of options with other girls would he still be putting this much emphasis on this ex of his......I DOUBT IT.

 
Originally posted by: gigapet
Originally posted by: quakefiend420
Originally posted by: gigapet
Originally posted by: quakefiend420
Originally posted by: gigapet
you have oneitis dude. Get over it. You only have feelings for her because you have no other options. She has many options she wont likely "regain" those feelings for you. Solution: go out and meet new women.
Click to expand...

read dude

he's talking about an ex from 4 years ago, not the one he just split up with...
Click to expand...

I did read. It changes nothing. He is still desperate and is clinging on to something from the past cuz he has no other options.
Click to expand...

people can change a lot over 4 years...maybe it might work out this time...i think it's kind of closed minded to just assume it's not going to work because it didn't almost a half decade ago, don't you?

i understand the whole oneitis answer is a popular one here, but it's generally used when the person can't get over the most recent ex, not when the rediscover one from two or more relationships ago...
Click to expand...

do you really believe that this is the case and its not just him being desperate? Im not say its impossible to rekindle a flame with an ex but this seems like a case of pure desperation. If he had alot of options with other girls would he still be putting this much emphasis on this ex of his......I DOUBT IT.
Click to expand...

after examining the language used in the OP you may be right...but i still say to close it off just to avoid a percieved case of "oneitis" wouldn't be the best option...
 
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Take it from me. I know a lot about women. Go for it. You won't regret it. Four years is a long time.
Click to expand...

Yeah, Romeo. GO FOR IT


:roll:......................................
 
I'll admit that I'm looking for something since I've been single for a bit, but how is considering this girl different from considering any other? It's been so long, she's practically like a completely new option. I was just wondering, once feelings fade for a SO, does it kind of like lock them that way forever.
 
Doomed, sure you might get back together and have some ol' time sex, but these situations piss me off because there is just more fighting and petty BS inbetween.
 
Originally posted by: archcommus
I'll admit that I'm looking for something since I've been single for a bit, but how is considering this girl different from considering any other? It's been so long, she's practically like a completely new option. I was just wondering, once feelings fade for a SO, does it kind of like lock them that way forever.
Click to expand...

Well, I would assume that whatever caused you two to split in the first place would rear its ugly head again. At least, some sort of insecurites will come from either one of you or both of you about the other person.

You might want to be careful.
 
Originally posted by: archcommus
I'll admit that I'm looking for something since I've been single for a bit, but how is considering this girl different from considering any other? It's been so long, she's practically like a completely new option. I was just wondering, once feelings fade for a SO, does it kind of like lock them that way forever.
Click to expand...

everyone is different...there is no concrete answer to that question...
 
Originally posted by: archcommus
I'll admit that I'm looking for something since I've been single for a bit, but how is considering this girl different from considering any other? It's been so long, she's practically like a completely new option. I was just wondering, once feelings fade for a SO, does it kind of like lock them that way forever.
Click to expand...

Ex or not......girls can smell desperation miles away.
 
Originally posted by: gigapet
Originally posted by: archcommus
I'll admit that I'm looking for something since I've been single for a bit, but how is considering this girl different from considering any other? It's been so long, she's practically like a completely new option. I was just wondering, once feelings fade for a SO, does it kind of like lock them that way forever.
Click to expand...

Ex or not......girls can smell desperation miles away.
Click to expand...

****** werd
 
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