YAGT: Am I making a bad decision?

[PurdueRy]

Originally posted by: yowolabi
If you feel comfortable with the woman you're with, it doesn't matter how many others you've dated. There's no such thing as "the one", and what you'll come to realize is that you could be happy with multiple women... and they will all have faults. But the actual process of finding a girl that makes you happy, having her want you too, and actually getting a long term relationship started is not easy... especially after you leave college.

However, if you're not happy and something like constant arguments is bothering you, don't be afraid to leave. You will find happiness again, and by the time you do, you'll be more sure that you've really found what you're looking for.

Well, let me ask you people that are in relationships this...do you find yourself still very attracted to other girl friends? Seems like people I have always wanted to date, I still feel like I would love to see what a relationship is like with them.

 

[Blazin Trav]

Originally posted by: PurdueRy

Originally posted by: yowolabi
If you feel comfortable with the woman you're with, it doesn't matter how many others you've dated. There's no such thing as "the one", and what you'll come to realize is that you could be happy with multiple women... and they will all have faults. But the actual process of finding a girl that makes you happy, having her want you too, and actually getting a long term relationship started is not easy... especially after you leave college.

However, if you're not happy and something like constant arguments is bothering you, don't be afraid to leave. You will find happiness again, and by the time you do, you'll be more sure that you've really found what you're looking for.

Well, let me ask you people that are in relationships this...do you find yourself still very attracted to other girl friends? Seems like people I have always wanted to date, I still feel like I would love to see what a relationship is like with them.

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Go for it.

The way I see it, with as many women as there are in the world, you really have to play the field and see what's out there. Otherwise you might never know what you're missing.

 

[GasX]

little Johnny's all grown up... <sniff>

 

[Jikininki]

Originally posted by: PurdueRy

Originally posted by: Modular

Originally posted by: PurdueRy
It's just looking into the future scares me

You ended the relationship because you were scared...what makes you think any other relationship will be different?

The reassurance of having experienced a more diverse group of personalities making it more apparant whether or not the person I am currently dating is the one to stay with

What makes you think she's going to wait around for you? Or are you just hoping she never finds out that you left her to see what's out there and then coming back to her if/when you realize there isn't someone better?

Well, let me ask you people that are in relationships this...do you find yourself still very attracted to other girl friends? Seems like people I have always wanted to date, I still feel like I would love to see what a relationship is like with them.

There's a difference between thinking about a possible relationship and taking the step to START a relationship. Nothing wrong with fantasies.

 

[MrMaster]

Originally posted by: PurdueRy
I'll make this quick and painless. I have been dating a girl for a lil over two years. Things have been pretty good as a whole. I would say a mild argument maybe once every week or two. Maybe a more serious one once in a while...(2-3 months). But on the whole, not a bad person and not a bad relationship.

I am a entering senior in college and have only dated two people. I feel like I could not possibly know if someone is right for me because of the few people I have actually dated.

This summer we have been arguing quite often(probably due to never seeing eachother due to a 7 hour or so drive between where we live when not at college) and she had occasionally been jealous when I got out with some other girl friends.

So...I called it off. The only thing that scares me is if I am throwing away a good thing as she is by far the person I talk to and hang out with most at college.

I haven't completely written off getting together in the future, I just feel like I would need to date some other people before I can say anyone is the person I should be with for that long of a time. What do you guys think...am I making a mistake?

Is she hot?

 

[PurdueRy]

Originally posted by: Jikininki

Originally posted by: PurdueRy

Originally posted by: Modular

Originally posted by: PurdueRy
It's just looking into the future scares me

You ended the relationship because you were scared...what makes you think any other relationship will be different?

The reassurance of having experienced a more diverse group of personalities making it more apparant whether or not the person I am currently dating is the one to stay with

What makes you think she's going to wait around for you? Or are you just hoping she never finds out that you left her to see what's out there and then coming back to her if/when you realize there isn't someone better?

Well, let me ask you people that are in relationships this...do you find yourself still very attracted to other girl friends? Seems like people I have always wanted to date, I still feel like I would love to see what a relationship is like with them.

There's a difference between thinking about a possible relationship and taking the step to START a relationship. Nothing wrong with fantasies.

I didn't say she would wait around for me. However, the next girl I meet I might feel more comfortable going farther into a relationship if it is a good one.

I agree there is nothing wrong with fantasies....but wanting something to happen is a bit more than just wondering what it would be like if it did. Those are the thoughts that would worry me if I was going to stay in a relationship.

 

[Toonces]

Same thing for me this summer, except it was a 3 1/2 year relationship that lasted from second semester of first year until the summer after graduation; about a month and a half ago.

I don't regret a thing; I realize that I probably passed up many chances to be with other girls when I was at University but I've learned a lot. After that being my only long-term relationship I just couldn't see myself marrying her - she's great but there's a few things (jealousy, her family) that bothered me and changed the way I was during those years that I didn't enjoy. Anyways, now I'm looking forward to dating people that are different and have distinct personalities and traits. It should be interesting! You did the right thing.

Oh, and I do have some advice though; there'll come a point where you miss her so much that getting back together will seem like a great idea. I did it after we first broke up (two years in) a month later and it probably wasn't the best idea in the world . Try to find activities/friends to take your mind off her and just remember what you've thought about now when you made your decision to go your seperate ways. After a month, hindsight recalls all the fun and great times you've had; just try and work through it. (HD pron? )

 

[Emrys]

I've only dated one girl and I am still with her. We dated all through college and are still happy. Sure I find other girls attractive, I'm just not interested in dating them. There is no number of people you have to date before you can settle into a long term relationship, it just depends on if you are happy or not. If you are happy you stay, and if you arn't you leave. Simple as that.

 

[ITJunkie]

Originally posted by: DeadByDawn
Sounds like you made the right choice to me.

 

[MrPickins]

Distance is supposed to make the heart grow fonder. If ya'll are arguing all the time in a long distance relationship, it'll be even worse when you see each other day in and day out.

 

[ValValline]

College is not the real world. It's easy to have and maintain a relationship at school, because both parties are wrapped up in the same social structure and environment. The fact that your relationship breaks down when the structure is removed seems to indicate that the two of you are not "right" for each other at this time (perhaps not ever). This could change over time as you both mature, but from what you have posted you are much better off moving on and living your life apart for now.

 

[DrPizza]

You could approach the problem mathematically. Come up with a rating system. Rate your previous girlfriends. Increase the sample size. Figure out the standard deviation... Keep dating different girls until you find the one who... (I'm not going to figure it out at the moment, but I believe the actual solution has to do with natural logs. Imagine that: if we could all do the math, we'd all be in wedded bliss and the divorce rate would drop to 0.

 

[PurdueRy]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
You could approach the problem mathematically. Come up with a rating system. Rate your previous girlfriends. Increase the sample size. Figure out the standard deviation... Keep dating different girls until you find the one who... (I'm not going to figure it out at the moment, but I believe the actual solution has to do with natural logs. Imagine that: if we could all do the math, we'd all be in wedded bliss and the divorce rate would drop to 0.

This post made more sense to me than it should have...and that makes me sad

 

[DannyLove]

great choice. Sometimes life gets in the way of dating and that is TOTALLY understandable. Its how ppl deal with it that matters. There is so much ass out there so don't worry. There's also no such thing as a 'soul mate' so don't sweat the loss either, another will be around the corner.

good choice.

danny~!

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

Originally posted by: pOwder
I am in the same exact position as you are dude. SAME f**king thing, except I'm a sophomore, and I've only dated one person. I sometimes feel like I've wasted my time, money, and weekends pursuing this relationship, especially since its on the rocks now.

I don't know what to do...

Yeah, both of you call it quits. It's college man... new semester = new girl. at the bare minimum.

 

[SampSon]

So you actually live 7 hours away, and are only together when at school?
You barely had a relationship to begin with.
Go out, play the field, and always keep your options open.

 

[FusionKnight]

I've been dating my gf for two and a half years now, and she's my first gf. While I agree that I don't have the experience to be able to compare my gf with against any of my ex's, ending my relationship now would be stupid because I'm happy. Like another poster said, if you're happy where you are, stay; otherwise, take off and find it elsewhere. The fact that you've made the step is proof enough to me that you've made the right decision - if I were at all unsure that leaving my gf was what I wanted, I wouldn't leave in the first place.

FK