YAGT: Am I making a bad decision?

[PurdueRy]

I'll make this quick and painless. I have been dating a girl for a lil over two years. Things have been pretty good as a whole. I would say a mild argument maybe once every week or two. Maybe a more serious one once in a while...(2-3 months). But on the whole, not a bad person and not a bad relationship.

I am a entering senior in college and have only dated two people. I feel like I could not possibly know if someone is right for me because of the few people I have actually dated.

This summer we have been arguing quite often(probably due to never seeing eachother due to a 7 hour or so drive between where we live when not at college) and she had occasionally been jealous when I got out with some other girl friends.

So...I called it off. The only thing that scares me is if I am throwing away a good thing as she is by far the person I talk to and hang out with most at college.

I haven't completely written off getting together in the future, I just feel like I would need to date some other people before I can say anyone is the person I should be with for that long of a time. What do you guys think...am I making a mistake?

 

[Saint Nick]

I am in the same exact position as you are dude. SAME f**king thing, except I'm a sophomore, and I've only dated one person. I sometimes feel like I've wasted my time, money, and weekends pursuing this relationship, especially since its on the rocks now.

I don't know what to do...

 

[DeadByDawn]

Sounds like you made the right choice to me.

 

[Garet Jax]

Marriage is 100 times more difficult and more demanding than a relationship. You need to be as certain as possible that she is the right one. If there is any doubt than you are making the right move.

/thread

 

[PurdueRy]

Originally posted by: pOwder
I am in the same exact position as you are dude. SAME f**king thing, except I'm a sophomore, and I've only dated one person. I sometimes feel like I've wasted my time, money, and weekends pursuing this relationship, especially since its on the rocks now.

I don't know what to do...

I feel for you dude.

I hate this because the girl is by no means a bad person. I would never ever say that. It's just looking into the future scares me and I am afraid the arguing we do now will only get worse as time goes on.

 

[PurdueRy]

Originally posted by: Garet Jax
Marriage is 100 times more difficult and more demanding than a relationship. You need to be as certain as possible that she is the right one. If there is any doubt than you are making the right move.

/thread

That's the exact reason I made the choice I did

 

[mattpegher]

Sounds like your doing the right thing. You never know, there may be someone out there that you won't have to argue with at all. Too early to get snagged.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

you dont want to be in a serious relationship all through college you'll kick yourself. get out ther eon your own for a bit. If you guys reunite later on(ie 6 months from now) you know its the real deal

 

[Blazin Trav]

You've only dated two girls and you are a senior in college? IMO you have a long way to go. It's tough finding "the one."

 

[Platypus]

Sounds right, but good luck finding a replacement at purdue LOL.

 

[PurdueRy]

Originally posted by: Platypus
Sounds right, but good luck finding a replacement at purdue LOL.

Nursing program FTW

 

[Platypus]

Originally posted by: PurdueRy

Originally posted by: Platypus
Sounds right, but good luck finding a replacement at purdue LOL.

Nursing program FTW

Touche'

The pharmacy building is your only hope.

 

[Saint Nick]

Originally posted by: PurdueRy

Originally posted by: pOwder
I am in the same exact position as you are dude. SAME f**king thing, except I'm a sophomore, and I've only dated one person. I sometimes feel like I've wasted my time, money, and weekends pursuing this relationship, especially since its on the rocks now.

I don't know what to do...

I feel for you dude.

I hate this because the girl is by no means a bad person. I would never ever say that. It's just looking into the future scares me and I am afraid the arguing we do now will only get worse as time goes on.

dude, it does get worse, believe me. the arguing got progressively worse about a month and a half ago. i only saw her for weekends, never even got to stay at her house overnight :| and the arguing got out of hand and i told her that its time for a break and time for breathing room. she has done things in the past that make me mad just because she seems disrespectful to me for those things. just a lot of crap and i said its time to slow this down and take a break. so who knows where this will end up. if we stay together hopefully it'll work out okay then, but if we cut it off for good, then hopefully we will still be friends. i can't believe how insanely similar your situation is to mine. i wish i could find an answer to my/our problem. i don't want to "waste" my college years either, i guess...

 

[Mr N8]

Get out there and find out what you want. You'll always wonder if you don't, and that's not good for a marriage.

 

[PurdueRy]

Originally posted by: pOwder

Originally posted by: PurdueRy

Originally posted by: pOwder
I am in the same exact position as you are dude. SAME f**king thing, except I'm a sophomore, and I've only dated one person. I sometimes feel like I've wasted my time, money, and weekends pursuing this relationship, especially since its on the rocks now.

I don't know what to do...

I feel for you dude.

I hate this because the girl is by no means a bad person. I would never ever say that. It's just looking into the future scares me and I am afraid the arguing we do now will only get worse as time goes on.

dude, it does get worse, believe me. i only saw rachelmb for weekends, never even got to stay at her house overnight :| and the arguing got out of hand and i told her that its time for a break and time for breathing room. she has done things in the past that make me mad just because she seems disrespectful to me for those things. just a lot of crap and i said its time to slow this down and take a break. so who knows where this will end up. if we stay together hopefully it'll work out okay then, but if we cut it off for good, then hopefully we will still be friends. i can't believe how insanely similar your situation is to mine. i wish i could find an answer to my/our problem. i don't want to "waste" my college years either, i guess...

I would never call what I did a waste. Over that time I have found what I like about her and what bothers me. If I was to find someone else, I would make sure that hopefully they match more of my likes and less of my dislikes.

Thanks to those of you who have replied, you are really making this easier on my mind right now

 

[Blazin Trav]

When you get a chance go traveling and see if you can bring a European girl back with you FTW.

American girls are tough. Always want everything for them to be 100% perfect IMO.

Let me guess, her parents are rich, right? Is she daddy or mommy's "little girl?"

I know what you mean though. After a breakup or a rejection I usually get really pissed off and blame it on myself. I learned to cope with this by just trying my best to realize that girls can say no for tons of reasons and their emotions are usually all over the place, so most of the time, it's not you're fault, it's the fact that girls take everything you say far too seriously.

 

[Kyanzes]

Originally posted by: Blazin Trav
When you get a chance go traveling and see if you can bring a European girl back with you FTW.

American girls are tough. Always want everything for them to be 100% perfect IMO.

Think I saw your name mentioned here.

 

[Miramonti]

Sounds like if you don't see other people you would probably always regret it. Your relationship doesn't sound like a 'once in a lifetime' partnership, so I definitely suggest checking out what else is out there before any longterm re-commitments.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: PurdueRy

I am a entering senior in college and have only dated two people. I feel like I could not possibly know if someone is right for me because of the few people I have actually dated.

Why? You have to try them all to find the one you like? What if one of the ones you tried along the way was the right one?

 

[Blazin Trav]

Originally posted by: Kyanzes

Originally posted by: Blazin Trav
When you get a chance go traveling and see if you can bring a European girl back with you FTW.

American girls are tough. Always want everything for them to be 100% perfect IMO.

Think I saw your name mentioned here.

My name? Don't you mean my definition?

It's true. More and more women are becoming financially independent and have no problem walking all over men. Especially the hottest ones. I don't know who you are dating, but you must luck out.

 

[MichaelD]

You have so much living to do yet. And I don't mean being a man-whore (though it can be rather entertaining).

I'm talking about OTHER relationships with OTHER women. Whether they be short, mid-term or long-term, you need to get out and smell the flowers.

Though you've only dated a few other women, you already had the smarts to say:

I have only dated two people. I feel like I could not possibly know if someone is right for me because of the few people I have actually dated.

As time goes by and you date a little more, you'll discover the wide range of faults and talents that women have and most importantly, how they affect you and what you can, can't and won't put up with.

You made the right choice.

 

[PurdueRy]

Originally posted by: mugs

Originally posted by: PurdueRy

I am a entering senior in college and have only dated two people. I feel like I could not possibly know if someone is right for me because of the few people I have actually dated.

Why? You have to try them all to find the one you like? What if one of the ones you tried along the way was the right one?

Dating is a process as you know. If you have only dated one person what do you have to compare to? How do you know it doesn't get any better than this? How do you know what really makes you get along with someone...what personality traits to really need in a relationship?

I know after my first relationship my choice in girls drastically improved because I knew more what to look for....I would assume that a person can learn from more than one girl.

 

[Modular]

Originally posted by: PurdueRy
It's just looking into the future scares me

You ended the relationship because you were scared...what makes you think any other relationship will be different?

 

[yowolabi]

If you feel comfortable with the woman you're with, it doesn't matter how many others you've dated. There's no such thing as "the one", and what you'll come to realize is that you could be happy with multiple women... and they will all have faults. But the actual process of finding a girl that makes you happy, having her want you too, and actually getting a long term relationship started is not easy... especially after you leave college.

However, if you're not happy and something like constant arguments is bothering you, don't be afraid to leave. You will find happiness again, and by the time you do, you'll be more sure that you've really found what you're looking for.

 

[PurdueRy]

Originally posted by: Modular

Originally posted by: PurdueRy
It's just looking into the future scares me

You ended the relationship because you were scared...what makes you think any other relationship will be different?

The reassurance of having experienced a more diverse group of personalities making it more apparant whether or not the person I am currently dating is the one to stay with