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YAGT: About To Dump Girl After Some Thinking

P

Paddington

Senior member
I've had this policy of not dating women with kids, mainly because I don't want to be raising another man's child. A while back I met this girl (age: 24) who I knew from the start had a 5 year old daughter. I thought it might be time to be a little bit flexible, and give this girl a chance. I figured we're not getting married here, just dating.

So we hung out several times over the course of two months. During this time, the daughter was living with the grandmother, so it was no different than dating any other girl. I had a good time whenever we hung out. This girl is well educated (she finished college while taking care of her daughter) and holds a decent job. It was a good personality match too, since we both like to hang out, have a few drinks, eat out, and maybe watch a movie on the weekends.

But recently, the daughter has moved back in with the Mom. The last few times I've hung out with the Mom, the kid has tagged along. This kid is overbearing. When I was her age, I kept my mouth shut in the presence of adults, and tried to watch TV or read a book quietly. This kid has the attention span of about 5 seconds. She doesn't shutup and talks all kinds of crap to adults, including comments directed towards me that were rude. On my part I've gone out of my way to be nice to this kid, paying for her stuff each time we've hung out. We were recently at Dave and Busters, and I have to say it was a pretty awful experience being there with this kid. I didn't even want to play any games. I encouraged the kid to spend all our credits on the expensive machines just so I could get the hell out of there.

Anyway, when I hang out with the Mom and daughter at the same time, the daughter has to be the center of attention, and I don't really enjoy the experience. I'm not blaming the Mom for raising the kid this way. Maybe all 5 year olds are like this (although I wasn't). Maybe the daughter takes after her Dad, who from what I hear was something of a dashing 25 year old motorcycle mechanic who swept the Mom off her feet when she was 17 and then dumped her after getting her pregnant. Now he's a deadbeat Dad who can't hold a steady job and doesn't even want to see his own daughter. Anyway, I just know that I don't like spending time with either the Mom or the daughter anymore.

I've become a father to another man's child, and I'm not having it. I've decided to break it off with this girl. Have to let her down gently.
 
Sucks that you have to let her go because of the kid, but you're probably making the right decision.
 
I think in this case, the dumping line "It's not you, it's me" would be very appropriate.
 
Originally posted by: BudAshes
well thanks for that update on your life.

You sound like a dick. But who am i to judge?
Click to expand...

Yeah, but better that he get out now, before he gets really involved, and ends up really hurting the woman and her kid when he DOES leave.
 
If you aren't happy now because of the kid, you never will be. Props for figuring this out now and not keeping the woman's hopes up.
 
You have a bad attitude or might just not be suitable to be a step father, but either way you are right to break up with her. It's better for both of you. If you stay together she'll get a crappy stepfather who will probably kill them both down the road in a rage. By breaking up you get to calm down and find another lovely young 22 year old without the baggage.
 
You gotta do what you gotta do.

If the child is getting in the way that much then there is no reason to continue with the relationship.


Just curious on how your gonna break it off with the mom? Are you going to be honest and say the kid is a kill joy and you cant stand it, or are you gonna let her down another was with some BS story?
 
Sounds like good thinking to me. That ain't your baby, you are a man, you should choose what you want to do with your own time, and if you don't want the kid, then you shouldn't have to be around the kid.
 
I think that you just don't understand what is going on with the child. Which, perhaps you didn't have any little cousins or something to help with and just don't understand children yet...which is oaky.

The kid probably has been the center of attention, and here you are, taking away some of her mom's attention. So yeah she'll probably be a bit overbearing. The rude comments though, that's not acceptable and should have been corrected. The mother probably doesn't properly punish the child for improper behaviour - or tries but hasn't found an appropriate method.

Hard call. Personally I might have stuck with it a while...but I like kids and am used to them.

But hey - to each his own.
 
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