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YAGT: About To Dump Girl After Some Thinking

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Originally posted by: Paddington
I'm not blaming the Mom for raising the kid this way.
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Who do you blame? Society?
 
Originally posted by: Paddington
Maybe the daughter takes after her Dad, who from what I hear was something of a dashing 25 year old motorcycle mechanic who swept the Mom off her feet when she was 17 and then dumped her after getting her pregnant.
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Ah ha! The Outlaw Biker!
 
Hey, at least you tried. I date a girl with an extremely obnoxious 7 y/o daughter and I'm almost certain that I'm going to be doing the same thing you are for the same reasons...

 
This girl is well educated (she finished college while taking care of her daughter) and holds a decent job.
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...the daughter was living with the grandmother...
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...a dashing 25 year old motorcycle mechanic who swept the Mom off her feet when she was 17 and then dumped her after getting her pregnant.
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She doesn't sound too "well educated", and it sounds like her mother raised the kid who will probably end up just like her, a pregnant teen with a little bastard. Stick to your original policy.
 
A couple things surprise me: First, the mom introduced you to her kid so soon. I've only dated two single mothers but both insisted on not introducing their kid until the relationship had progressed to the "serious" stage. Seems like a good policy and I assumed that was a pretty common guideline. In your case, it sounds like you only went out a handful of times before she not only introduced you to her daughter but started bringing her along on the dates. Second, why didn't she arrange for a sitter during your dates? That seems a little odd (since she has a decent job, she should have been able to afford it).

 
Originally posted by: BudAshes
well thanks for that update on your life.

You sound like a dick. But who am i to judge?
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I disagree with you...if it doesnt feel right them let it go...
 
"Anyway, when I hang out with the Mom and daughter at the same time, the daughter has to be the center of attention, "

so instead, you want to be the center of attention?
 
Originally posted by: sniperruff
"Anyway, when I hang out with the Mom and daughter at the same time, the daughter has to be the center of attention, "

so instead, you want to be the center of attention?
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some kids are attention whores, others not so much.
 
I was single for a long time and experienced many mother/offspring situations. If you don't like the situation now, it's not gonna get any better. End it and get on with your lives.
 
They say a man is most honest right after sex.

I think you owe it to her to be completely honest. You should knock the bottom out of it, then stand up, put your clothes on, tell her how you really feel then walk out the door.
 
She doesn't sound too "well educated", and it sounds like her mother raised the kid who will probably end up just like her, a pregnant teen with a little bastard. Stick to your original policy.
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Yeah, you're probably right. Maybe the Mom has matured with age or with education. She just doesn't seem like the dumb type that would fall for some greasy motorcycle mechanic, and run off with him at 18. I don't know. What I was saying is that the girl is definitely her daughter's father from what I've been told of this guy. But she probably also takes after her Mom, and a lot of daughters of teenage Moms do end up the same way.

One other thing about this girl is that she's currently moved into the 4 bedroom house of a divorced 40 year old man with his own 5 year old girl. Supposedly she's living there for free in exchange for keeping his house while he's away on business trips and watching his daughter. But the whole thing is just kind of weird IMO, and a small - but not insignificant - reason why I want to get out of this.

A couple things surprise me: First, the mom introduced you to her kid so soon.
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The first month or so the kid was living with her grandparents. The kid is obviously an important part of the Mom's life so I tried to show some interest and said I wanted to meet the kid, which I did. The Mom actually resisted that. Then one night I came over to hang out, and she had sent her kid to bed at 8. No kid goes to bed that early, and I felt kind of ******, since we were just watching a PG rated movie and having pizza that night so I said it was OK if her kid joined us that evening.

And I'm glad I did meet the kid, because the kid is a major part of this Mom's life, and if the kid is hidden away until things "get serious" then that's living a lie. For anyone reading this, if you date a single Mom, don't be fooled by her attempts to hide the kid away initially. Meet the kid ASAP to know what you're getting into.
 
Originally posted by: sniperruff
"Anyway, when I hang out with the Mom and daughter at the same time, the daughter has to be the center of attention, "

so instead, you want to be the center of attention?
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Really. What 5 year old DOESN'T want to be the center of attention...especially an only child?

And I can guarandamntee that you were a lot more like this kid than you think you were where you were 5. Just because you think you were a good little kid doesn't mean you actually were.

That being said, I do agree that there's no reason to string her along...you are obviously nowhere near equipped or ready to be a parent.
 
Originally posted by: Paddington
She doesn't sound too "well educated", and it sounds like her mother raised the kid who will probably end up just like her, a pregnant teen with a little bastard. Stick to your original policy.
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Yeah, you're probably right. Maybe the Mom has matured with age or with education. She just doesn't seem like the dumb type that would fall for some greasy motorcycle mechanic, and run off with him at 18. I don't know. What I was saying is that the girl is definitely her daughter's father from what I've been told of this guy. But she probably also takes after her Mom, and a lot of daughters of teenage Moms do end up the same way.

One other thing about this girl is that she's currently moved into the 4 bedroom house of a divorced 40 year old man with his own 5 year old girl. Supposedly she's living there for free in exchange for keeping his house while he's away on business trips and watching his daughter. But the whole thing is just kind of weird IMO, and a small - but not insignificant - reason why I want to get out of this.

A couple things surprise me: First, the mom introduced you to her kid so soon.
Click to expand...

The first month or so the kid was living with her grandparents. The kid is obviously an important part of the Mom's life so I tried to show some interest and said I wanted to meet the kid, which I did. The Mom actually resisted that. Then one night I came over to hang out, and she had sent her kid to bed at 8. No kid goes to bed that early, and I felt kind of ******, since we were just watching a PG rated movie and having pizza that night so I said it was OK if her kid joined us that evening.

And I'm glad I did meet the kid, because the kid is a major part of this Mom's life, and if the kid is hidden away until things "get serious" then that's living a lie. For anyone reading this, if you date a single Mom, don't be fooled by her attempts to hide the kid away initially. Meet the kid ASAP to know what you're getting into.
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I was alone for many years after my divorce and can count on one hand the number of men who met my children (and still have fingers left on that hand) No sane woman is going to consider involving her kids with a guy till she reasonably sure she wants to be in a longer term relationship with him. It had nothing to do with "hiding" anything and everything to do with protecting everybody involved from situations like this one.

Also, this child might have been clingy and needy because she'd just returned to her mother's care after a long time away from her, a month is a long time to be away from home and the regular rules when you're 5.
 
Noone has asked for pics of single mom??? Whats ATOT coming to???? 😕



TTIWWP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Originally posted by: ELopes580
Noone has asked for pics of single mom??? Whats ATOT coming to???? 😕
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The physical appearance doesn't matter much when the merchandise has already been spoiled. Why punish yourself by taking care of someone else's mistake when you can be out dating someone without the extra baggage?
 
Originally posted by: Paddington
I've had this policy of not dating women with kids, mainly because I don't want to be raising another man's child. A while back I met this girl (age: 24) who I knew from the start had a 5 year old daughter. I thought it might be time to be a little bit flexible, and give this girl a chance. I figured we're not getting married here, just dating.

So we hung out several times over the course of two months. During this time, the daughter was living with the grandmother, so it was no different than dating any other girl. I had a good time whenever we hung out. This girl is well educated (she finished college while taking care of her daughter) and holds a decent job. It was a good personality match too, since we both like to hang out, have a few drinks, eat out, and maybe watch a movie on the weekends.

But recently, the daughter has moved back in with the Mom. The last few times I've hung out with the Mom, the kid has tagged along. This kid is overbearing. When I was her age, I kept my mouth shut in the presence of adults, and tried to watch TV or read a book quietly. This kid has the attention span of about 5 seconds. She doesn't shutup and talks all kinds of crap to adults, including comments directed towards me that were rude. On my part I've gone out of my way to be nice to this kid, paying for her stuff each time we've hung out. We were recently at Dave and Busters, and I have to say it was a pretty awful experience being there with this kid. I didn't even want to play any games. I encouraged the kid to spend all our credits on the expensive machines just so I could get the hell out of there.

Anyway, when I hang out with the Mom and daughter at the same time, the daughter has to be the center of attention, and I don't really enjoy the experience. I'm not blaming the Mom for raising the kid this way. Maybe all 5 year olds are like this (although I wasn't). Maybe the daughter takes after her Dad, who from what I hear was something of a dashing 25 year old motorcycle mechanic who swept the Mom off her feet when she was 17 and then dumped her after getting her pregnant. Now he's a deadbeat Dad who can't hold a steady job and doesn't even want to see his own daughter. Anyway, I just know that I don't like spending time with either the Mom or the daughter anymore.

I've become a father to another man's child, and I'm not having it. I've decided to break it off with this girl. Have to let her down gently.
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The behavior you describe is typical for some kids. If you are having that much trouble with the kid it is best that you move on and not waste the woman's time and cause trouble for her and her child.
 
Originally posted by: Ranger X
Originally posted by: ELopes580
Noone has asked for pics of single mom??? Whats ATOT coming to???? 😕
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The physical appearance doesn't matter much when the merchandise has already been spoiled. Why punish yourself by taking care of someone else's mistake when you can be out dating someone without the extra baggage?
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wow. what a d1ck remark
 
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