WTF! Toilet etiquette please.

[StageLeft]

So I sit down for a #2. First of the day, so I knew it would be rewarding. Plus I had the onion loaded up on my phone. Bathroom was empty when I went in and there are 4 stalls. I sat down in the furtherst as I always do for a little privacy. Not 15 seconds later somebody else sits down in the one NEXT to me for a #2. Common social rules prescribe that he should have sat in the opposite end, or at the very least had a one stall buffer between us. Most people understand this, but this fellow could not. As a result the silence was deafening and off to the corner of my eye I could see his shoe. Obsessing over why somebody would not have left the one stall buffer I had to hurry up and leave.

LEAVE A BUFFER.

 

[DarkManXY2G]

I hate it when people don't abide by the buffer rule!

 

[Chumpman]

that fvcking jerk

 

[Chumpman]

gg reply button

 

[iamme]

wait, did you go before you had done your deed?

 

[SagaLore]

Yes that was quite odd. A study was done about people in sitting rooms... basically, we naturally create buffer zones not to invade each other's space. And for the overwhelming majority of the population we adhere to this nonspoken rule. But it always amazes me when there is a line of 8 empty urinals and I'm on an end, and someone decides that the urinal right next to me is the best one. That's just not right...

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: iamme
wait, did you go before you had done your deed?

yea he sucked it back in and ran out

 

[Doggiedog]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: iamme
wait, did you go before you had done your deed?

yea he sucked it back in and ran out

LOL!

Anyway, make him pay for his transgressions. Start grunting or flatulating. Maybe then he'll learn his lesson.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: iamme
wait, did you go before you had done your deed?

No, I was committed, and I'm not quite that fickle even if I'd not been comitted by that point I finished. But it wasn't a happy finish.

 

[iamme]

Originally posted by: Doggiedog

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: iamme
wait, did you go before you had done your deed?

yea he sucked it back in and ran out

LOL!

Anyway, make him pay for his transgressions. Start grunting or flatulating. Maybe then he'll learn his lesson.

and then while you wash your hands, your boss walks out of the stall

 

[Bulk Beef]

But it wasn't a happy finish.

I feel your pain.

Wait, that didn't come out right.

Wait, that didn't come out right either.

I'll shut up now.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: iamme

Originally posted by: Doggiedog

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: iamme
wait, did you go before you had done your deed?

yea he sucked it back in and ran out

LOL!

Anyway, make him pay for his transgressions. Start grunting or flatulating. Maybe then he'll learn his lesson.

and then while you wash your hands, your boss walks out of the stall

Wash hands? huh?

 

Did you lift up your shoes to hide your identity?

 

[ElFenix]

the buffer only applies to urinals. there is a WALL between you and the other toilet. no buffer need be used.

 

Originally posted by: ElFenix
the buffer only applies to urinals. there is a WALL between you and the other toilet. no buffer need be used.

I beg to differ, 4 stalls, atleast get the second one over to give him some space...

 

[Bulk Beef]

Originally posted by: ElFenix
the buffer only applies to urinals. there is a WALL between you and the other toilet. no buffer need be used.

You are WRONG. The buffer rule ALWAYS applies.

 

[Red]

Someone told me once that most other cultures, mainly non-western cultures have a much smaller territorial bubble.... aka, not accepting the BUFFER ZONE. Like if you're in an empty movie theatre with your girlfriend and another couple comes in and sits in the same row as you. Go sit somewhere fvcking else, you've popped my territorial bubble if you come 5 rows near me in an empty theatre.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: ElFenix
the buffer only applies to urinals. there is a WALL between you and the other toilet. no buffer need be used.

NO! There is not a "wall". there is a "divider". An additional stall is a needed buffer, to minimize his sounds, his smell, and any proximity. #2 is being compromised enough as it is having to do it in public, the last thing you need is somebody engaging in this most private of bodily functions next to you when he doesn't have to.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Redhotjrm
Someone told me once that most other cultures, mainly non-western cultures have a much smaller territorial bubble.... aka, not accepting the BUFFER ZONE. Like if you're in an empty movie theatre with your girlfriend and another couple comes in and sits in the same row as you. Go sit somewhere fvcking else, you've popped my territorial bubble if you come 5 rows near me in an empty theatre.

Exactly. And if we're in a row don't sit BEHIND us, leave at least an extra row. We're not in Japan - we have room. Let's use it, people!

 

[iamme]

there's nothing worse than smelling someone else's #2, while you're going #2

 

[LordThing]

Originally posted by: ElFenix
the buffer only applies to urinals. there is a WALL between you and the other toilet. no buffer need be used.

I would say the same thing if the brother wasn't trying to "lay the smack down". Kinda reminds me of the situation where you pick a table at a resturaunt all by yourself and murphys law says someone sits right next to you.

 

[PricklyPete]

I've even got a worse...or better story depending on how you look at it. When I was in college about 4 years ago, I go to the library to do some studying for a test...and the pains set in. I decide to head to bottom floor of the library (it had 4 underground floors) to drop off the kids in the some peace and quite. I just situate myself and am about to release the burden, when some guy comes flying in and sits down right next to me. Now there are five stalls in this bathroom and I'm in the second one...there is plenty of space for him to choose a different one than the one next to me. To top it all off, he touches down right away and starts shooting off this machine gun rampage of ass matter. This goes on for about 10 seconds and is quite loud. During this I am unable to release purely out of the shock of what is going on next door. After his 10 second tirade...I just couldn't hold on any longer. almost on queue of him finishing the bombardment, I let out this bombastic shriek of flatulence. There was nothing but silence. This silence seemed to be a lifetime...but in reality was only a second or two. This joker in the next stall precedes to say outloud... "Good One". I honestly nearly fell off my stall. I finsihed up, cleaned up, washed my hands and headed right out of the bathroom. I never caught a glimpse of this guy and he never saw me...but I definitely was not able to study the rest of that evening...I was laughing pretty much the whole time. I must have told that story to 20 or 30 people that night...as it was too funny...all though my grade on my Discrete Math test the next day was not funny at all.

Edit: typos.

 

[iamme]

Originally posted by: PricklyPete
I've even got a worse...or better story depending on how you look at it. When I was in college about 4 years ago, I go to the library to do some studying for a test...and the pains set it. I decide to head to bottom floor of the library (it had 4 underground floors) to drop off the kids in the some peace and quite. I just situate myself and am about to release the burden, when some guy comes flying in and sits down right next to me. Now there are five stalls in this bathroom and I'm in the second one...there is plenty of space for him to choose a different one than the one next to me. To top it all off, he touches down right away and starts shooting off this machine gun rampage of ass matter. This goes on for about 10 seconds and is quite loud. During this I am unable to release purely out of the shock of what is going on next door. After his 10 second tirade...I just couldn't hold on any longer. almost on queue of him finishing the bombardment, I let out this bombastic shriek of flatulence. There was nothing but silence. This silence seemed to be a lifetime...but in reality was only a second or two. This joker in the next stall precedes to say outloud... "Good One". I honestly nearly fell off my stall. I finsihed up, cleaned up, washed my hands and headed right out of the bathroom. I never caught a glimpse of this guy and he never saw me...but I definitely was not able to study the rest of that evening...I was laughing pretty much the hole time. I must have told that story to 20 or 30 people that night...as it was too funny...all though my grade on my Discrete Math test the next day was not all that funny.

LOL.....that's hilarious

 

Originally posted by: PricklyPete
I've even got a worse...or better story depending on how you look at it. When I was in college about 4 years ago, I go to the library to do some studying for a test...and the pains set it. I decide to head to bottom floor of the library (it had 4 underground floors) to drop off the kids in the some peace and quite. I just situate myself and am about to release the burden, when some guy comes flying in and sits down right next to me. Now there are five stalls in this bathroom and I'm in the second one...there is plenty of space for him to choose a different one than the one next to me. To top it all off, he touches down right away and starts shooting off this machine gun rampage of ass matter. This goes on for about 10 seconds and is quite loud. During this I am unable to release purely out of the shock of what is going on next door. After his 10 second tirade...I just couldn't hold on any longer. almost on queue of him finishing the bombardment, I let out this bombastic shriek of flatulence. There was nothing but silence. This silence seemed to be a lifetime...but in reality was only a second or two. This joker in the next stall precedes to say outloud... "Good One". I honestly nearly fell off my stall. I finsihed up, cleaned up, washed my hands and headed right out of the bathroom. I never caught a glimpse of this guy and he never saw me...but I definitely was not able to study the rest of that evening...I was laughing pretty much the hole time. I must have told that story to 20 or 30 people that night...as it was too funny...all though my grade on my Discrete Math test the next day was not all that funny.

Hahahhahaha

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: PricklyPete
I've even got a worse...or better story depending on how you look at it. When I was in college about 4 years ago, I go to the library to do some studying for a test...and the pains set in. I decide to head to bottom floor of the library (it had 4 underground floors) to drop off the kids in the some peace and quite. I just situate myself and am about to release the burden, when some guy comes flying in and sits down right next to me. Now there are five stalls in this bathroom and I'm in the second one...there is plenty of space for him to choose a different one than the one next to me. To top it all off, he touches down right away and starts shooting off this machine gun rampage of ass matter. This goes on for about 10 seconds and is quite loud. During this I am unable to release purely out of the shock of what is going on next door. After his 10 second tirade...I just couldn't hold on any longer. almost on queue of him finishing the bombardment, I let out this bombastic shriek of flatulence. There was nothing but silence. This silence seemed to be a lifetime...but in reality was only a second or two. This joker in the next stall precedes to say outloud... "Good One". I honestly nearly fell off my stall. I finsihed up, cleaned up, washed my hands and headed right out of the bathroom. I never caught a glimpse of this guy and he never saw me...but I definitely was not able to study the rest of that evening...I was laughing pretty much the whole time. I must have told that story to 20 or 30 people that night...as it was too funny...all though my grade on my Discrete Math test the next day was not funny at all.

Edit: typos.

Believe me, it's still funny It doesn't matter how old I get. Farts and poo are still hilarious to me.