WTF! Toilet etiquette please.

[loup garou]

Originally posted by: ElFenix
the buffer only applies to urinals. there is a WALL between you and the other toilet. no buffer need be used.

No way! The buffer rule applies to both sitting and standing!

 

[LordThing]

Originally posted by: PricklyPete
I've even got a worse...or better story depending on how you look at it. When I was in college about 4 years ago, I go to the library to do some studying for a test...and the pains set in. I decide to head to bottom floor of the library (it had 4 underground floors) to drop off the kids in the some peace and quite. I just situate myself and am about to release the burden, when some guy comes flying in and sits down right next to me. Now there are five stalls in this bathroom and I'm in the second one...there is plenty of space for him to choose a different one than the one next to me. To top it all off, he touches down right away and starts shooting off this machine gun rampage of ass matter. This goes on for about 10 seconds and is quite loud. During this I am unable to release purely out of the shock of what is going on next door. After his 10 second tirade...I just couldn't hold on any longer. almost on queue of him finishing the bombardment, I let out this bombastic shriek of flatulence. There was nothing but silence. This silence seemed to be a lifetime...but in reality was only a second or two. This joker in the next stall precedes to say outloud... "Good One". I honestly nearly fell off my stall. I finsihed up, cleaned up, washed my hands and headed right out of the bathroom. I never caught a glimpse of this guy and he never saw me...but I definitely was not able to study the rest of that evening...I was laughing pretty much the whole time. I must have told that story to 20 or 30 people that night...as it was too funny...all though my grade on my Discrete Math test the next day was not funny at all.

Edit: typos.

It's stories like this that make my cube-mates think I am insane as I try to stiffle my laugher and have tears streaming down my face.

Dude, I have been there.

 

[StageLeft]

It's stories like this that make my cube-mates think I am insane as I try to stiffle my laugher and have tears streaming down my face.

Dude, I have been there.

Try reading theonion.com on the crapper. People come in and wonder what you're giggling about

 

[Savij]

If I really have to go and the other ones are covered in piss, I will occasionally ignore the buffer zone. But usually I have diarrhea and am no longer in control at that point.

 

[TubStain]

Originally posted by: PricklyPete
I've even got a worse...or better story depending on how you look at it. When I was in college about 4 years ago, I go to the library to do some studying for a test...and the pains set in. I decide to head to bottom floor of the library (it had 4 underground floors) to drop off the kids in the some peace and quite. I just situate myself and am about to release the burden, when some guy comes flying in and sits down right next to me. Now there are five stalls in this bathroom and I'm in the second one...there is plenty of space for him to choose a different one than the one next to me. To top it all off, he touches down right away and starts shooting off this machine gun rampage of ass matter. This goes on for about 10 seconds and is quite loud. During this I am unable to release purely out of the shock of what is going on next door. After his 10 second tirade...I just couldn't hold on any longer. almost on queue of him finishing the bombardment, I let out this bombastic shriek of flatulence. There was nothing but silence. This silence seemed to be a lifetime...but in reality was only a second or two. This joker in the next stall precedes to say outloud... "Good One". I honestly nearly fell off my stall. I finsihed up, cleaned up, washed my hands and headed right out of the bathroom. I never caught a glimpse of this guy and he never saw me...but I definitely was not able to study the rest of that evening...I was laughing pretty much the whole time. I must have told that story to 20 or 30 people that night...as it was too funny...all though my grade on my Discrete Math test the next day was not funny at all.

Edit: typos.

LOL....and I really mean it...it's a good thing I have my own office, coz I was almost falling out of my chair. Sh1t I'm still cracking up...

 

[PricklyPete]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: PricklyPete
I've even got a worse...or better story depending on how you look at it. When I was in college about 4 years ago, I go to the library to do some studying for a test...and the pains set in. I decide to head to bottom floor of the library (it had 4 underground floors) to drop off the kids in the some peace and quite. I just situate myself and am about to release the burden, when some guy comes flying in and sits down right next to me. Now there are five stalls in this bathroom and I'm in the second one...there is plenty of space for him to choose a different one than the one next to me. To top it all off, he touches down right away and starts shooting off this machine gun rampage of ass matter. This goes on for about 10 seconds and is quite loud. During this I am unable to release purely out of the shock of what is going on next door. After his 10 second tirade...I just couldn't hold on any longer. almost on queue of him finishing the bombardment, I let out this bombastic shriek of flatulence. There was nothing but silence. This silence seemed to be a lifetime...but in reality was only a second or two. This joker in the next stall precedes to say outloud... "Good One". I honestly nearly fell off my stall. I finsihed up, cleaned up, washed my hands and headed right out of the bathroom. I never caught a glimpse of this guy and he never saw me...but I definitely was not able to study the rest of that evening...I was laughing pretty much the whole time. I must have told that story to 20 or 30 people that night...as it was too funny...all though my grade on my Discrete Math test the next day was not funny at all.

Edit: typos.

Believe me, it's still funny It doesn't matter how old I get. Farts and poo are still hilarious to me.

Oh believe me...I'll be telling this story to my grand kids.

 

[GoingUp]

always need the buffer.... especially at the urinal!

 

[Doggiedog]

On this same topic, does anybody have that old flash game where they teach you bathroom etiquette? It's been a while since I've seen it.

 

[PricklyPete]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

It's stories like this that make my cube-mates think I am insane as I try to stiffle my laugher and have tears streaming down my face.

Dude, I have been there.

Try reading theonion.com on the crapper. People come in and wonder what you're giggling about

If I had a phone I could do that with...that's a great idea. I don't read the theonion.com that often just because of time constraints...but the stuff I have read is awfully funny.

 

[LordThing]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

It's stories like this that make my cube-mates think I am insane as I try to stiffle my laugher and have tears streaming down my face.

Dude, I have been there.

Try reading theonion.com on the crapper. People come in and wonder what you're giggling about

See...that is even more creepy, especially in a bathroom stall. Some guy sitting alone in a stall giggling to himself. Lord knows what he is doing.

 

[csiro]

This thread stinks!

 

[Aharami]

Originally posted by: SagaLore
Yes that was quite odd. A study was done about people in sitting rooms... basically, we naturally create buffer zones not to invade each other's space. And for the overwhelming majority of the population we adhere to this nonspoken rule. But it always amazes me when there is a line of 8 empty urinals and I'm on an end, and someone decides that the urinal right next to me is the best one. That's just not right...

that guy next to u is prolly lookin over...checkin out ur willy :Q

 

[Aharami]

Originally posted by: PricklyPete
I've even got a worse...

the first thing that popped in in my mind as soon as i read that was somebody kicking in the stall door while ur in mid-act...your eyes all wide in shock and trying to cover whatever u can with your shirt. haha

 

[Aharami]

Originally posted by: PricklyPete
I've even got a worse...or better story depending on how you look at it. When I was in college about 4 years ago, I go to the library to do some studying for a test...and the pains set in. I decide to head to bottom floor of the library (it had 4 underground floors) to drop off the kids in the some peace and quite. I just situate myself and am about to release the burden, when some guy comes flying in and sits down right next to me. Now there are five stalls in this bathroom and I'm in the second one...there is plenty of space for him to choose a different one than the one next to me. To top it all off, he touches down right away and starts shooting off this machine gun rampage of ass matter. This goes on for about 10 seconds and is quite loud. During this I am unable to release purely out of the shock of what is going on next door. After his 10 second tirade...I just couldn't hold on any longer. almost on queue of him finishing the bombardment, I let out this bombastic shriek of flatulence. There was nothing but silence. This silence seemed to be a lifetime...but in reality was only a second or two. This joker in the next stall precedes to say outloud... "Good One". I honestly nearly fell off my stall. I finsihed up, cleaned up, washed my hands and headed right out of the bathroom. I never caught a glimpse of this guy and he never saw me...but I definitely was not able to study the rest of that evening...I was laughing pretty much the whole time. I must have told that story to 20 or 30 people that night...as it was too funny...all though my grade on my Discrete Math test the next day was not funny at all.

Edit: typos.

thanks to you my co-workers thinks im weird
coworker: hey whats so funny
me: its someone talkin about their.....<get to the part about "bombastic shriek of flatulence" and nearly fall of chair>...hmm nevermind
co-worker: <gives me strange look>

 

[AdamSnow]

What happens if there's only 2 stalls?? i know at school we only have 2... this cuts down on the "pooing time" because you have to really think... are most people in class now.. or asleep etc... I never knew it could be such a chore...

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: Phocas

Originally posted by: ElFenix
the buffer only applies to urinals. there is a WALL between you and the other toilet. no buffer need be used.

I beg to differ, 4 stalls, atleast get the second one over to give him some space...

Nope the cleanest stall rule applies

 

[alkemyst]

Luckily it wasn't my one friend...his humor revolves around #2.

At malls, he'd like to check out the toilets and see if any were in use and then sit in the next stall.

Some of his one liner's were funny:

after what sounded like childbirth...."gasp, hey buddy, I don't think I am going to make it, do you go a cell phone over there, I need help!" there was a really old guy it sounded like in the next stall, his reply was one of the best ever "I sure do, quick give me your girl's phone number, I have nothing to do tonight, and no sense of her grieving long.'

to someone reading the paper and knowing it was probably their own private paper 'hey man, how about sharing that paper, they don't put them in here so you can take the whole thing"

fake masturbation and talking to his 'poo' was always going on....he'd always do this crap when we'd be 'mid stream' at a urinal and couldn't bolt.

The older the men were the more they'd either try and help or screw with him back. Of course couple times there were altercations....he was on his own.

The sad part on this guy is a few years later I heard he pissed off the wrong group of guys and they gave him a 'smiley/curb job'..it put him in the hospital a while. The guy telling me the story said he is still messing with people and his reply when someone says didn't that beating teach you a lesson is: "yeah some a$$h0les can't take a joke". hehhe the guy is too much

 

[PricklyPete]

Originally posted by: Aharami


thanks to you my co-workers thinks im weird
coworker: hey whats so funny
me: its someone talkin about their.....<get to the part about "bombastic shriek of flatulence" and nearly fall of chair>...hmm nevermind
co-worker: <gives me strange look>

Glad to have helped with your inter-work relationships.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: Phocas

Originally posted by: ElFenix
the buffer only applies to urinals. there is a WALL between you and the other toilet. no buffer need be used.

I beg to differ, 4 stalls, atleast get the second one over to give him some space...

Nope the cleanest stall rule applies

It CAN take precedence, but today all were clean.

 

[XZeroII]

People who don't follow the rules at urinals are the worst. Especially if they try to talk to you! WTF! I'm peeing! I don't care about the freaking weather! I just want to pee and leave!

 

[ScottyB]

I can't go to the bathroom if someone else is in there with me. If someone enters while I am going I stop and wait till they leave to finish, thinking to myself the entire time, "Leave mother fcker leave. I hope you fvcking die you fvck head mother fvcker. Just leave you stupid sh!thead motherfcker. I hate you!!! I hope you fvcking die a horrible death!!!!" I think I may have a social phobia because I think the same thing when someone is walking or driving behind me for a long period.

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: sward666

Originally posted by: ElFenix
the buffer only applies to urinals. there is a WALL between you and the other toilet. no buffer need be used.

You are WRONG. The buffer rule ALWAYS applies.

Well, it's dependant on stall condition. For example, there were 5 stalls in my old dorms. One didn't lock (the lock had been broken off of the door) so it was completely out of the question. Another door had a hole in it. A hole large enough to see through. So that one wasn't an option. Of the three remaining stall (which happened to be in a row) at least one usually had vomit or something equally bad on the seat. Which left two stalls that were viable on average at any given time. If the defiled stall was between the two viable stalls, OK, you got a buffer. If not, well there wasn't much you could do.

Of course, that's extenuating circumstances and assuming that all stalls are equally viable, the buffer needs to be respected.

ZV

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: Phocas

Originally posted by: ElFenix
the buffer only applies to urinals. there is a WALL between you and the other toilet. no buffer need be used.

I beg to differ, 4 stalls, atleast get the second one over to give him some space...

Nope the cleanest stall rule applies

It CAN take precedence, but today all were clean.

Maybe he was lonely

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: AdamSnow
What happens if there's only 2 stalls?? i know at school we only have 2... this cuts down on the "pooing time" because you have to really think... are most people in class now.. or asleep etc... I never knew it could be such a chore...

Use the sink.

 

[Ferocious]

Pete's story sorta reminds a little of that classic 'Steakhouse Incident' story.

Both are quite funny.