Wtf is the point of wedding registries?

[waggy]

what annoyes me is people put shit on it that is silly. A friend had a $3k TV, A $1200 couch, $900 Table, $3500 lawnmower (they live in a fucking trailor!) etc. The cheapest thing they had was a $400 grill.

the funny part is NOBODY invited had that kind of money to blow. The two getting married made maybe a combined income of $35k and they were rich compared to there family. it was really fuckign annoying to pull up the list and see this crap.

we got thema $20 blendor. fuck em.




edit: oh yeah. we did have one for when I got married. think the most expensive thing we listed was a $120 grill (wich igot! my dad said he would get it for me) most stuff was decent priced stuff. i don't need a $100 blendor when a $20 will do the job.

 

[meltdown75]

NSFW you can't really think a $100 wedding gift is too much.

i'm not a snooty tooty! we're working-class chumps!

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: meltdown75
NSFW you can't really think a $100 wedding gift is too much.

i'm not a snooty tooty! we're working-class chumps!

depends on who is getting married and how much money the people buying the gift can afford.

I do not expect EVERYONE to buy me a $100 gift.

 

[ruu]

Originally posted by: waggy
what annoyes me is people put shit on it that is silly. A friend had a $3k TV, A $1200 couch, $900 Table, $3500 lawnmower (they live in a fucking trailor!) etc. The cheapest thing they had was a $400 grill.

That's the thing about registries that really annoys me---the stuff we actually need is all rifirckindiculously expensive, and I'd die of shame before I'd ask my friends to get me something that costs hundreds or thousands of dollars just because I'm getting married. Nobody's ever had all that much money to spare.

Therefore, stupid little shit goes on the registry. The $5 candy plate, the $10 tea towels, the $7.99 spice rack or something like that. Stuff that we'd never ever use in 5000 years but that we put on there because it's unreasonable to ask people to buy hundred-dollar items.

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: meltdown75
NSFW you can't really think a $100 wedding gift is too much.

i'm not a snooty tooty! we're working-class chumps!

depends on who is getting married and how much money the people buying the gift can afford.

I do not expect EVERYONE to buy me a $100 gift.

we didn't expect anything from anyone, but when we go to a wedding, we give at least $100.... it's just what you do around these parts i guess.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: Tobolo

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: ChaoZ
Has it always been a requirement to give gifts at American weddings? I know in Chinese weddings you don't give anything unless you're family.

It's standard custom now, yeah. Hypothetically it's good manners to give a gift that is at least approximately the worth of your plate at dinner (often $100ish per plate), but that's supposed to be an unspoken rule so that guests who cannot easily afford it don't feel awkward.

Whose weddings have you been going to???

Most weddings I've been to have been appetizer type weddings with no alcohol. So far I've only been to one catered wedding, and $100/plate is probably about right.

I'm citing the cultural standard for a catered wedding, not necessarily my personal experience. Food + drink + on-site catering = $$$$ Price match me if you want; that's the average.

 

[BlahBlahYouToo]

Originally posted by: I Saw OJ
I agree and some things people put on their list that are out outrageously expensive. WTF does a newly wed couple in their early 20s need with a knife/spoon/fork set that costs over 75 bucks for?

EDIT: big outrageous weddings are stupid

$75 is CHEAP for flatware.

 

[BlahBlahYouToo]

Originally posted by: NFS4

Originally posted by: Babbles

Originally posted by: NFS4
My fiancé has us registered for some expensive china (well, $110 for one place setting sounds ridiculous to me -- and she has us down for 12). Her contention is that she has always wanted nice china and that relatives will likely buy the stuff on sale.

My thing is, the economy is in the shitter, no one wants to spend that much on plates, and I sure as hell don't want to complete the set if we only get three or four place settings.

But, whatever. I'm tired I arguing about it.

Dude, I am totally with you My fiancee picked out some China that costs exactly the same (some Vera Wang pattern from Macy's) and wants 12. I do not understand why on Earth we need that shit - I hate to have stuff around just for the sake of having it, or otherwise it is one of those things we are "supposed" to be getting.

In all other aspects I do enjoy the idea of a gift registry; just can't stand that China shit and asking people to spend that much money is a bit crazy.

I'd be happy with the Fiesta ware everyday plates she has on the registry (it wasn't my choice, but I caved and said we can go with the Fiesta ware -- it's a bit too "vibrant" for my tastes for everyday plates).

I mean, I understand why she wants fine china. Her mother has it, and her grandma has it, and she wants to have it. And she's always liked this pattern.

But I mean, honestly, how often are we going to use this stuff? My mom has a nice china set and I can only remember her using it once in 28 years -- and that's when my fiance and I were over for Thanksgiving last year (it was our first time having Thanksgiving with my parents). Any other time, it's just sitting in the damn china closet.

My mom offered up her wedding china to my fiance saying that we could have it as a gift to us both (she said this to me). My fiance told me, "That's OK, I want my Lenox Opal Innocence".

WTF, NO TO FREE CHINA? -- AND SOME NICE STUFF TOO. THIS AIN'T THE CHEAP STUFF!!!!!!!!!

But now I have the feeling that we're only gonna get a few pieces of that stuff and we're gonna have to pay to fill the rest of the set. I'd rather put that money to good use like new living room furniture, new bedroom set, etc.

Maybe it's just a guy thing -- I'm thinking of the practical/financial side of it for both us and for our families and she's thinking of the froo-froo "Oh look, it's pretty" and "well my mom did it" aspect.

Then again, if we do end up getting the full set, I will shut the FUCK up and not say another word, but I'm not holding my breath.

it's a white thing. you won't get it.

 

[BlahBlahYouToo]

Originally posted by: loki8481
some stores offer you a discount to buy stuff on your registry after your wedding that you didn't get?

in NJ, the usual wedding custom is just to give money [my rule of thumb is plate cost (x2 if I bring a date) + $X, wherein X is determined based on how much I like the couple and whether or not they make more than me]... wedding registries tend to be expensive stuff for the parents/grand parents of the bride to buy or for shower gifts.

i wasn't aware that NJ had their own set of customs separate from the rest of the US.

 

[waggy]

funny thing about the china sets. 99% of the time it sits in a fucking hutch and never gets used.

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: NFS4
[...] it wasn't my choice, but I caved [...]

and therein lies the reason wedding registries even exist.

a wise man once told me "happy wife, happy life"

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: waggy
funny thing about the china sets. 99% of the time it sits in a fucking hutch and never gets used.

i agree... especially when the china and china cabinet could buy you a nice flatscreen HDTV

 

[NFS4]

Originally posted by: BlahBlahYouToo
it's a white thing. you won't get it.

I won't even touch that one...

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: NFS4
[...] it wasn't my choice, but I caved [...]

and therein lies the reason wedding registries even exist.

a wise man once told me "happy wife, happy life"

Well, I'm happy I got to pick all the cookware stuff since I do all the cooking. I guess I can take solace in that.

 

[erub]

Originally posted by: loki8481
some stores offer you a discount to buy stuff on your registry after your wedding that you didn't get?

in NJ, the usual wedding custom is just to give money [my rule of thumb is plate cost (x2 if I bring a date) + $X, wherein X is determined based on how much I like the couple and whether or not they make more than me]... wedding registries tend to be expensive stuff for the parents/grand parents of the bride to buy or for shower gifts.

I've read this in a couple threads from you. Curious how you determine the plate cost?

 

[AMCRambler]

What you don't have a biscuit cutter? I find that hard to believe. I use mine all the time! Especially after eating Taco Bell.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: waggy
funny thing about the china sets. 99% of the time it sits in a fucking hutch and never gets used.

i agree... especially when the china and china cabinet could buy you a nice flatscreen HDTV

Therein lies the difference between most men and most women.
Man thinks: Why would you need that? You'll only use it once a year for the next 65 years!
Woman thinks: Why would you need that? You'll only use it for the next 4 years!

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Syringer
I just got my first "American" wedding invitation today, after having been to maybe 8 or so Asian weddings, which has no such tradition (generally guests just give money, which is 100x more practical)..but I've signed onto the registry site and it has the most absolute worthless things I can think of that I know for a fact that the people getting married here will never touch ever..e.g.:

-Garlic Press-Slicer...it's called a knife!
-Italian Tomato Press...WHAT
-Biscuit Cutters, Set of 5...see above two
-Electric wine opener?? http://www.williams-sonoma.com....cfm?needs=1&fromrgl=1

When did the world go insane..or rather, succumb to such great marketing?

When I get married I'm just rolling a paypal account for donations.

Well, some people have asked for cash only so that one ups your paypal idea.

 

[rh71]

come on, even with our baby registry we put stuff on there that we don't exactly need but are "luxury" items because there are only so many things you "need". Tell me you wouldn't rather receive cash and spend it how you like. There are a ton of guests at a wedding usually and you're not going to only have things you need on the registry - you're bound to go overboard with selections... making it only purposeful up to a certain extent.

Ever wonder why stores give you bonuses when you start a registry with them? They know they're going to get rich on stupid sh!t.

If you're going to have a wedding registry, keep it short and the rest of the people who see there's nothing left to buy will get you the cash you could actually use.

 

[FallenHero]

Whenever I get something like that, i look for the most pointless item on the list and purchase it. Last time it was a big glass fruit punch bowl and 3 martini glasses.

 

[thegimp03]

I think the point of the wedding registry is to give the guests an idea of what you want. A couple will normally pick matching sets of items to put in their registry, so that they don't have 10 different guests show up with 10 different types/brands/styles/color patterns of something. Usually most of these items are household goods and china (although more and more people aren't getting china).

I don't know if it's a culture thing, but another thing is that a lot of people don't like just giving money - while it's easy, it lacks thoughtfulness for a lot of people. I've noticed that my gf's (who's half-asian) parents/grand parents etc. give her money for christmas and birthday with no issues. However, I'm white my parents almost never cut me a check and always buy me gifts instead. They just make sure I pick out or tell them what I want. This might be a culture thing.

Wedding registries bother me too when they're not done right. I went to 3 weddings last year of people my own age. The stuff that they put in their wedding registry was mind-boggling and some of it was the stupidest stuff I've ever seen. Small hand towels - are you kidding me? Those things are like $1.99 at Target. Another thing that I came to hate was that a lot of times there wasn't that much stuff in the wedding registry. It's like the people getting married didn't go through the entire store. Don't just put stuff on there that you think you might get...put everything on it!

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: waggy
funny thing about the china sets. 99% of the time it sits in a fucking hutch and never gets used.

And god forbid you break a piece 10 years down the road and have to pay some astronomical price to replace it from some where house where it's been sitting for a decade.