wtf (girl problems)

[Brandino]

So I'm wondering what the hell is going through this womans head. Perhaps some of you females can help, or even the guys.

We live in the same town, and have been talking on the net for a while, and on the phone a couple of times (it took me a while to make that step though because I am shy)

She asked when we would be able to meet in person, and I told her that I don't feel comfortable doing that, and that I'd enjoy it better if this just stayed on the net and phone. I explained that I was already uncomfortable talking on the phone, and I don't think it'd be a very good situation to meet her in person.

She f****ng put me on block on both AIM and her email. What the hell?! Did I say something that bad? I thought I'd just tell her what my plans were rather than "delay" meeting her everytime I would have the chance to.

little help?
thx

 

[snow]

When the door swings open, you walk inside

 

[Isla]

My guess:

She thinks something is up, like you are married or something. (Not that you are, but she may be wondering)

It's not good to assume, but since she was trying to make a move and you turned her down, she probably thinks something is wrong. She is assuming there is some bigger reason you can't meet in person.

Just a guess!

 

[ManSnake]

LOL, really no need to ask!

Just one question for ya,

How are u ever gonna get hooked up if ur anti-social??

 

[IBhacknU]

She's trying to take it to the next level, and you basically say, "No thanks." Maybe you meant more to her than that. If you're not interested, she's just cutting her losses before she gets too far into things?

Do you mind me asking how old are you?

 

[UG]

You can't have it both ways: if you tell her to back off, you shouldn't be surprised when she does just that.

 

[Ariel]

Why don't you want to meet her in person? Because you are too shy? How long have you been talking to her on the net and on the phone? Why don't you think it would be a very good situation to meet her in person?

Sorry for the 20 questions, just trying to figure out why you wouldn't want to meet her. I guess I would think that if you liked her on the net and on the phone, that you would naturally wnat to meet her in person.

 

[The Stigenator]

give it time she will come back. If you have been talking for a while she will forgive you and let you in again.

Kathryn did that to me. We chatted on AIM all the time, we hardly talked on teh phone or at school. Anyway one day I met her at her work(how should I know she worked there? all I knew was a wells fargo) and the next thing my emails to her started to bounce. She did take me off the AIM block but she I could never send her emails after that, she is now moving out of AOL as an ISP/Content provider.

Send her an email from another account (yahoo maybe?) and appologise. Dont be shy. The fact that you ahve talked on the phone is a step forward from where I come from. Ask her to forgive you and meet her at a public place (since your shy) maybe a local coffee house or starbucks or something similar.

Its not a date so its no pressure on you. Just do it man, or you will regret it. Kathryn put me on AIM block for 2 whole months, all the time I knew she had me on block, we both were on 2 alias's that neither knew about and basically missed each other.


Send her an email from some other acct.

 

[Pretender]

my guess (and it's a remote one):

if you already have a girlfriend or wife, the person online is acutally her, and she's testing you. The fact that you wouldn't go meet her shows your significant other that you're faithful and she trusts you, so the 'experiment' is over.


otherwise, maybe the woman feels upset that she scared you by trying to move this to the next level, or she doesn't want to sit at this stage of the relationship forever.

 

[The Stigenator]

BTW do you have a self concious problem. Like you view yourself as a "Lizzard" or a "Sloth" when you actually not. If that is teh case here is a way to prove yourself. It seems to me you do have a self image problem. You are afraid that you wont be what she expects you to be.

If so face the truth and go do it.

 

[JenniZ]

Uhh hello, she was trying to meet you and you pushed her away.
Me, I'm more evil, I have a perverse need to know what you are saying to me. So I would only pretend to ignore you but still read your messages.

I might give you another chance, but I would be leary and probably have moved on already. Anti-social will never get you the woman/man of your dreams.

 

[Brandino]

first of all THANKS to all the people who responded.

One of the reasons I don't want to meet her in person is because while I do like her as a friend, I think she wants me to be her boyfriend, and I don't want that. I'm not positive mind you, but I'm pretty sure. No I don't have a girlfriend, but I am interested in someone. Also, I have this anti-social disorder where one of the problems I have is basically fearing going out to meet new people. While most of you might suggest just go and get over it, I don't think thats a very good idea. I've done this "blind meeting" kinda thing where we met on the net first, and it worked out okay.. BUT I knew the guy for over a year before I finally went to the movies with him. I've known this chick for like 3 weeks now.

I'm not sure I would even meet her in person if like 10 of my friends were with me. its that bad. I don't want to say it that bluntly but well seeing as she cut me off I'm not sure I can say anything at all.

I might appologize with an email, but I honestly don't feel sorry for what I said. I don't even think it was bad at all. I mean perhaps it came off rudely, but I just thought I was communicating what I felt. Oh well...

 

[Brandino]

first of all THANKS to all the people who responded.

One of the reasons I don't want to meet her in person is because while I do like her as a friend, I think she wants me to be her boyfriend, and I don't want that. I'm not positive mind you, but I'm pretty sure. No I don't have a girlfriend, but I am interested in someone. Also, I have this anti-social disorder where one of the problems I have is basically fearing going out to meet new people. While most of you might suggest just go and get over it, I don't think thats a very good idea. I've done this "blind meeting" kinda thing where we met on the net first, and it worked out okay.. BUT I knew the guy for over a year before I finally went to the movies with him. I've known this chick for like 3 weeks now.

I'm not sure I would even meet her in person if like 10 of my friends were with me. its that bad. I don't want to say it that bluntly but well seeing as she cut me off I'm not sure I can say anything at all.

I might appologize with an email, but I honestly don't feel sorry for what I said. I don't even think it was bad at all. I mean perhaps it came off rudely, but I just thought I was communicating what I felt. Oh well...

 

[urbantechie]

<< Oh well... >>


Thats the kind of additude that won't get you anyone/where.

 

[Brandino]

oh yeah.. I'm 16 shes 17

 

[IBhacknU]

<< Also, I have this anti-social disorder where one of the problems I have is basically fearing going out to meet new people. >>

This is the first thing you must work on if you intend to date and be more 'social' in the future.

You may consider professional help or a counselor

 

[Isla]

Brandino,

Then don't give it a second thought. You were honest, and maybe she is looking for a boyfriend. If that is not what you want, then you did the right thing.

I sympathize with your difficulties. Believe it or not, I have had similar problems. Taking drama lessons and being involved in community theater really helped me a lot. Basically, every time I venture out, I am giving a 'performance'.

One of the reasons I like this place so much is that I can be more 'me', even though I do have a bit of anxiety here, too.

Take care and be well

 

[Brandino]

I didn't mean oh well I'm giving up, I just meant oh well I can't figure her out

 

[geno]

Talking is the key. Ask her why she tried shutting you out like that, then offer your viewpoint on the issue. Tell her that you don't think you know her well enough to do that sort of thing. Maybe you want to meet her when you know her better? If so: tell her!! That'll offer some incentive for her to stick around. Just be yourself and let her know how you feel - things will work out.

 

[sweetrobin]

Well if this person can't understand your hesitations .. you probably dont need her as a friend or anything else ... heck I had turned down e_mc_2 down for over 3 months before I finally gave in and agreed to meet him (basically to get him to stop asking me out). Finally I just went with the flow and things have worked out great ... not even two years later here we are engaged to be married and happy as we can be. The thing is if you had really been worth it to her .. she would have understood your hesitations and slowly tried to work on it with you .. I wouldn't apologize for something you can't help ... forget about her ... or let her start to realize that this is her problem not yours ...

 

[ManSnake]

My advice:

Confront your fear, talk to your teachers, talk to your classmates, just talk to them! You will find out that talking to people really is not that scary at all, it should be quite interesting to say the least. After all, those people you try to talk to are people too, they are not better than you, they are just like you, so what do you have to be afraid of?

Go out there and talk to them!!

 

[Brandino]

mansnake: the problem is I worry too much about what other people are thinking of me at any given time. I try to tell myself that they dont really care, but it never really works. I will try that though, thanks.

and I am speaking to her right now, and it seems that because I've said some stupid stuff to her, she doesn't want to be a part of me any more. I remind her of a friend that dumped her basically and she doesn't want it to happen again.

I've been a &quot;burden&quot; for her apparantly, and when she got the attitude of &quot;I'm not taking anyones crap any more&quot; I told her that shes never going to have any decent friends if she doesn't allow them to have mistakes. She said &quot;If I wanted your advice I would've asked&quot;

And without going into personal crap, she basically said goodbye.

thanks guys for your help, sorry this didn't really work out. I might try to say something, but its doubtful. It really seemed like she was totally sick of me and never wanted to hear from me again.

thanks again though

EDIT: BTW, it REALLY pisses me off when I poor my heart into a comment, only to get a response of &quot;Whateva&quot;. WTF is that?!

 

[Yeeny]

Well, if you don't want to meet her, then don't. Simple enough. Sometimes our instincts are for the better, and we should listen to them. But don't take an anti-social disorder lightly, make sure you take care of that. Otherwise the older you get, the harder life will become.

 

[eakers]

rejection is the worst insult.

 

[Brandino]

thanks, but it wasn't like I was saying you suck hell no I'm not meeting you. I just don't feel comfortable doing so. Actually I feel REALLY uncomfortable doing so.

I'm going to try and fix the social thing myself by talking in front of people etc first. If that doesn't work then I'll seek professional help. Thanks guys and gals