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Write a shens post

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Originally posted by: MichaelD
My two closest male friends just got married; and I'm so happy for them!

Two weeks ago, at a lovely dinner party they had, I ate "soy steak." It's like steak, but without the meat that kills innocent animals. While drinking Ginseng Tea, they convinced me that guns are bad, so I sold them all!

I've also enrolled in a 12-step program to stop drinking. Alcohol is the Devil's Tool, and through my savior Jesus Christ, I can beat that demon.

I also have signed on to be a Hillary Booster! Senator Clinton for President!
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:beer: Awesome post.
 
Why are girls so damned chatty? She kept going on about her new haircut while I was trying to watch Survivor. I don't give a crap about what kind of shiny stuff she bought for her hair. :roll:
 
Originally posted by: HotChic
Everybody screams "SHENS" at every post nowadays, but I don't think the OT peeps are really creative enough to make up a lot of the stuff that gets posted. So let's put it to the test.

Post in here your very best shens post - the one you would start as a topic if you ever wanted to go out on a limb and post something outrageous to try to fool the forums. Let's see how believable and yet how outrageous you can make it.

[edit] You're trying to make stuff SEMI believable, guys! Plus, don't forget to write a small book/large novella, like a shens post usually would be. 😛

You have been nominated as one of our next victi....................er um.........Moderator. Yeah that's it.

Shens Mod
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W00t!!! 11454 posts and I FINALLY have a mod quote of my very own!!!! I've been blessed, I've been touched by the gods. Oh thank you, all powerful moderators! I shall burn trolls at your shrines for three days and three nights!


😛😛😛
 
I finally got to see the bewbies!

My girlfriend of 15 years finally today allowed me to touch her fun bags o flesh. We went to the bar and I ordered a jack hammer and she had, I think, 2 pitchers of Miller light, 4 shots of yegar, 2 Rumplmentz, 6 bammer slammers, and I slipped a mickey into her coke when she wasnt looking. It hit her a few hours later and she was wasted like I never seen before and she thought I was some other guy named Tom, kept calling me Tom all night and how he will never find out about us, dont fully understand what that was all about 😛

But when we got home she said she was going to give me a dirty Sanchez, with a reach around, while laying on her back gobbling on bananas, with marbles in her mouth, and whipped out some knee pads I never even knew she owned, pulled out a bag of marbles, a bunch of bananas, told me, still calling me Tom for some reason, to slap her ass and write on her with a black marker "she likes it in the palm of her hand with mayo" in the middle of her ass crack. She then proceeded to whip out Susan and Kimberly right there in front of me, I waited 15 years for this moment and it was worth it till she puked all over me and I lost a eye thanks to a projectile marble. Other then that and being called Tom all night the night went pretty well. Oh and I think she may be cheating on me too with a guy named Thomas, not 100% sure, but I have a hunch.
 
Originally posted by: funboy42
I finally got to see the bewbies!

My girlfriend of 15 years finally today allowed me to touch her fun bags o flesh. We went to the bar and I ordered a jack hammer and she had, I think, 2 pitchers of Miller light, 4 shots of yegar, 2 Rumplmentz, 6 bammer slammers, and I slipped a mickey into her coke when she wasnt looking. It hit her a few hours later and she was wasted like I never seen before and she thought I was some other guy named Tom, kept calling me Tom all night and how he will never find out about us, dont fully understand what that was all about 😛

But when we got home she said she was going to give me a dirty Sanchez, with a reach around, while laying on her back gobbling on bananas, with marbles in her mouth, and whipped out some knee pads I never even knew she owned, pulled out a bag of marbles, a bunch of bananas, told me, still calling me Tom for some reason, to slap her ass and write on her with a black marker "she likes it in the palm of her hand with mayo" in the middle of her ass crack. She then proceeded to whip out Susan and Kimberly right there in front of me, I waited 15 years for this moment and it was worth it till she puked all over me and I lost a eye thanks to a projectile marble. Other then that and being called Tom all night the night went pretty well. Oh and I think she may be cheating on me too with a guy named Thomas, not 100% sure, but I have a hunch.
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I stopped when I read "yegar"
 
Originally posted by: funboy42
I finally got to see the bewbies!

My girlfriend of 15 years finally today allowed me to touch her fun bags o flesh. We went to the bar and I ordered a jack hammer and she had, I think, 2 pitchers of Miller light, 4 shots of yegar, 2 Rumplmentz, 6 bammer slammers, and I slipped a mickey into her coke when she wasnt looking. It hit her a few hours later and she was wasted like I never seen before and she thought I was some other guy named Tom, kept calling me Tom all night and how he will never find out about us, dont fully understand what that was all about 😛

But when we got home she said she was going to give me a dirty Sanchez, with a reach around, while laying on her back gobbling on bananas, with marbles in her mouth, and whipped out some knee pads I never even knew she owned, pulled out a bag of marbles, a bunch of bananas, told me, still calling me Tom for some reason, to slap her ass and write on her with a black marker "she likes it in the palm of her hand with mayo" in the middle of her ass crack. She then proceeded to whip out Susan and Kimberly right there in front of me, I waited 15 years for this moment and it was worth it till she puked all over me and I lost a eye thanks to a projectile marble. Other then that and being called Tom all night the night went pretty well. Oh and I think she may be cheating on me too with a guy named Thomas, not 100% sure, but I have a hunch.
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Five stars!

If this were a real shens thread, all you other posts would be required to demand pics, call shens, and make semi witty, semi derogatory comments (with a few flames towards females thrown in). The OP would be required to react with bewildered innocence, insisting that this is real and how dare you besmirch his gf's honor. 😀
 
I got a speeding ticket and 1000 people from ATOT got so pissed off that they started a protest to get
1. the decision reversed
2. get the cop fired.
 
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