AreaCode707
Lifer
- Sep 21, 2001
- 18,447
- 133
- 106
Zenmervolt
Elite member
- Oct 22, 2000
- 24,514
- 44
- 91
Dear me:
Don't buy the 2006 Mustang GT new in early 2006. Yes it's fun. Yes, you would love it. But you won't love the insurance costs and the car payments. Instead, find an 850 T5R or a '98 S70 T5, preferably with the high-end Pro-Logic stereo. Keri would have preferred the Mustang (you'll meet her later), but trust me, she'd rather you spend the money on going out more often than on the car payment. If you ignore me, well, you'll end up selling the Mustang after a year and buying that S70 anyway, so the car stuff works out.
Talk to Keri when you start having doubts, don't ignore them and hope they go away. You may not save the relationship, but it would at least teach you to fight for something instead of letting it die.
SLOW DOWN. I know we like fast cars, but there's no need to drive fast all the time. You'll realise this in about 3 years after you see what a couple of tickets do to your insurance payments. Keep it on the track.
Break up with Jamie before things go too far. You'll only end up hurting both of you.
Sincerely,
You, five years older (and with a beard!)
Don't buy the 2006 Mustang GT new in early 2006. Yes it's fun. Yes, you would love it. But you won't love the insurance costs and the car payments. Instead, find an 850 T5R or a '98 S70 T5, preferably with the high-end Pro-Logic stereo. Keri would have preferred the Mustang (you'll meet her later), but trust me, she'd rather you spend the money on going out more often than on the car payment. If you ignore me, well, you'll end up selling the Mustang after a year and buying that S70 anyway, so the car stuff works out.
Talk to Keri when you start having doubts, don't ignore them and hope they go away. You may not save the relationship, but it would at least teach you to fight for something instead of letting it die.
SLOW DOWN. I know we like fast cars, but there's no need to drive fast all the time. You'll realise this in about 3 years after you see what a couple of tickets do to your insurance payments. Keep it on the track.
Break up with Jamie before things go too far. You'll only end up hurting both of you.
Sincerely,
You, five years older (and with a beard!)
SKORPI0
Lifer
- Jan 18, 2000
- 18,500
- 2,426
- 136
Dear Erik,
Wanna change your luck? Buy 1 megamillion ticket for this coming July 2nd ($294 million prize) and use this numbers:
10, 25, 38, 39, 50 and 12 (mega).
Don't forget to do this, or you'll never get to bang that hot chick you're after.
From your future Erik.
Wanna change your luck? Buy 1 megamillion ticket for this coming July 2nd ($294 million prize) and use this numbers:
10, 25, 38, 39, 50 and 12 (mega).
Don't forget to do this, or you'll never get to bang that hot chick you're after.
From your future Erik.
WOW.
Dear Me,
Go ask some other girl to prom you dumbass. Stop staring and drooling at the same girl you cannot get. Finish high school with a bang. Register for the right courses for your first semester also. WTF was that when someone told me math classes are always available. Sure the lectures are always there but the discussion sections fill up like no other so unless you want 8am discussions with a fobby TA who can't even speak English, register NOW damnit.
About that Dell Inspiron 600m (wow I'm typing on this same machine even though my MPB has replaced this laptop for a year now) you will be getting right before school ends, why don't you get a Thinkpad instead?
BTW, don't play PartyPoker your first semester of college and lose $400 (although I did make it all back at Bodog and some more...) or if you really want to, at least play well and cash your stuff out before they ban internet gambling in the US.
And since you're going to college, ____ lives ______ (and many more) so why don't you go hit up those dorms where the parties happen and go meet those awesome people earlier (instead of finally finding them 2nd year and taken by douchey guys already).
Oh, and get that double major.
P.S. Bet on college football from 07-08 and bet on all the upsets because seriously almost everyone in the Top 25 got upset once if not twice that season. Those odds would made you a millionare for some of those upsets.
Dear Me,
Go ask some other girl to prom you dumbass. Stop staring and drooling at the same girl you cannot get. Finish high school with a bang. Register for the right courses for your first semester also. WTF was that when someone told me math classes are always available. Sure the lectures are always there but the discussion sections fill up like no other so unless you want 8am discussions with a fobby TA who can't even speak English, register NOW damnit.
About that Dell Inspiron 600m (wow I'm typing on this same machine even though my MPB has replaced this laptop for a year now) you will be getting right before school ends, why don't you get a Thinkpad instead?
BTW, don't play PartyPoker your first semester of college and lose $400 (although I did make it all back at Bodog and some more...) or if you really want to, at least play well and cash your stuff out before they ban internet gambling in the US.
And since you're going to college, ____ lives ______ (and many more) so why don't you go hit up those dorms where the parties happen and go meet those awesome people earlier (instead of finally finding them 2nd year and taken by douchey guys already).
Oh, and get that double major.
P.S. Bet on college football from 07-08 and bet on all the upsets because seriously almost everyone in the Top 25 got upset once if not twice that season. Those odds would made you a millionare for some of those upsets.
Lummex
Senior member
- Apr 6, 2008
- 867
- 1
- 76
Dear me,
Stop being a 14 year old fake emo girl. Get off the computer. I know you're shy, shyer than me, even, but there are actually some decent people out there that want to be your friend. I know your best friend has just completely stopped talking to you for no reason, and you are sad and lonely, but keep your chin up and keep on chuggin'! Listen to your mother, she's beautiful and smart, like you. Stop wearing that disgusting black make-up that you poorly apply in the school bathroom each day before class. You do actually look like a racoon. Care more about school, it really isn't cool to act like you don't care.
In two years, you will be tempted to be a complete fucking retard and get more involved with people who are 1300 miles away than tangible people and even your family. DO NOT DO THIS! It will lead to a series of terrible choices, wastings of money, and ridiculous/avoidable heartbreak.
Realize that your life is not terrible, you have so much to offer and to give. There is nothing to be emo about. Oh yeah, and when you are around 15 (or 16?) or so, look at you body and make a mental note that it is extremely smokin', and then keep it that way for me. Thanks.
All my love,
Me
Stop being a 14 year old fake emo girl. Get off the computer. I know you're shy, shyer than me, even, but there are actually some decent people out there that want to be your friend. I know your best friend has just completely stopped talking to you for no reason, and you are sad and lonely, but keep your chin up and keep on chuggin'! Listen to your mother, she's beautiful and smart, like you. Stop wearing that disgusting black make-up that you poorly apply in the school bathroom each day before class. You do actually look like a racoon. Care more about school, it really isn't cool to act like you don't care.
In two years, you will be tempted to be a complete fucking retard and get more involved with people who are 1300 miles away than tangible people and even your family. DO NOT DO THIS! It will lead to a series of terrible choices, wastings of money, and ridiculous/avoidable heartbreak.
Realize that your life is not terrible, you have so much to offer and to give. There is nothing to be emo about. Oh yeah, and when you are around 15 (or 16?) or so, look at you body and make a mental note that it is extremely smokin', and then keep it that way for me. Thanks.
All my love,
Me
Red Squirrel
No Lifer
Dear me, keep going the path you are heading. Yes, school is getting harder and harder, but in 3 years from now you'll be done, and it will be green pastures, don't give up now or you're screwed. Keep trying.
Oh, and that test you keep spending hours studying for will be a 36%, don't bother, go play outside or something.
-Me
Oh, and that test you keep spending hours studying for will be a 36%, don't bother, go play outside or something.
-Me
Dear Me,
Things won't ever recover from the time you totaled your car after feeling up your girl for the first time only to discover she has a penis. And you'll never have feeling in your left leg or testicle again. Get over it.
Don't apply for that crappy junior college, all you'll learn how to do is skip class and smoke dope all day. It's fun for the first year, but when you get busted in the dorm and try to run, it's really embarrassing when the security catches you and accidentally rips your jeans. If you do go this route, at least wear underwear that day or it will be very embarrassing.
Your brother is going to get married to some slut in the summer of '08. DON'T try to talk him out of it on his wedding day by informing him how worthless she is and all the dudes (and chicks) she's gotten drunk with and banged. Talk to him BEFORE, or you will get a bloody nose and knock over $700 worth of good wine you could have got wasted on.
If you never start drugs you won't have to hit rehab. If you do though, find some good place and not the dung pile you're in right now. It makes it very hard when some of the employees give high-power perscrips away for a handjob every now and then.
Finally, I know this sounds like all this could never happen to you in five years, but trust me your life is going down the crapper and there's really nothing you can do. ~Smoke em while you got em~
---
Things won't ever recover from the time you totaled your car after feeling up your girl for the first time only to discover she has a penis. And you'll never have feeling in your left leg or testicle again. Get over it.
Don't apply for that crappy junior college, all you'll learn how to do is skip class and smoke dope all day. It's fun for the first year, but when you get busted in the dorm and try to run, it's really embarrassing when the security catches you and accidentally rips your jeans. If you do go this route, at least wear underwear that day or it will be very embarrassing.
Your brother is going to get married to some slut in the summer of '08. DON'T try to talk him out of it on his wedding day by informing him how worthless she is and all the dudes (and chicks) she's gotten drunk with and banged. Talk to him BEFORE, or you will get a bloody nose and knock over $700 worth of good wine you could have got wasted on.
If you never start drugs you won't have to hit rehab. If you do though, find some good place and not the dung pile you're in right now. It makes it very hard when some of the employees give high-power perscrips away for a handjob every now and then.
Finally, I know this sounds like all this could never happen to you in five years, but trust me your life is going down the crapper and there's really nothing you can do. ~Smoke em while you got em~
---
GiggleGirl
Golden Member
- Apr 18, 2008
- 1,607
- 0
- 0
Buttzilla
Platinum Member
- Oct 12, 2000
- 2,676
- 1
- 81
Dear me,
Walk away from ANYTHING Blizzard makes....don't even think about touching Diablo. Also, stay away from those demons giving away free gifts if you sign up for their credit cards. Ochem is not hard, bio is not hard, chem is not hard, physics is not hard, science is not hard...there's this thing called studying, DO IT. Save me some time and trouble please, i had to go get a master degree in bio to undo your mistakes.
One last thing, freshman year, Santa Rosa dorms, if you meet a girl name Gina, say yes when she says "i have condoms" for god sakes, don't say "i don't love you."
Walk away from ANYTHING Blizzard makes....don't even think about touching Diablo. Also, stay away from those demons giving away free gifts if you sign up for their credit cards. Ochem is not hard, bio is not hard, chem is not hard, physics is not hard, science is not hard...there's this thing called studying, DO IT. Save me some time and trouble please, i had to go get a master degree in bio to undo your mistakes.
One last thing, freshman year, Santa Rosa dorms, if you meet a girl name Gina, say yes when she says "i have condoms" for god sakes, don't say "i don't love you."
Keep going to the gym. Even if it's three nights a week. Go to the gym.
Ask Devin out. She gave you the green light, just take the chance and go for it.
Don't stress so much. Life goes on, no matter how many awkward situations you're in or how many mistakes you make. You're smarter than you think and you'll do fine in the real world. Even so, understand that it is your commitment to your word that makes you a man and that will make you rise above.
Spend time with your grandma and your granddad. They will be gone before long.
Ask Devin out. She gave you the green light, just take the chance and go for it.
Don't stress so much. Life goes on, no matter how many awkward situations you're in or how many mistakes you make. You're smarter than you think and you'll do fine in the real world. Even so, understand that it is your commitment to your word that makes you a man and that will make you rise above.
Spend time with your grandma and your granddad. They will be gone before long.
Dear Me,
Slap my Dad for me for blowing the $100k on women and the subsequent child support instead of investing it in google a few ago like I told him to.
Sigh.
He is broke now and you have to help take care of him now.
sincerely,
Goosemaster
Slap my Dad for me for blowing the $100k on women and the subsequent child support instead of investing it in google a few ago like I told him to.
Sigh.
He is broke now and you have to help take care of him now.
sincerely,
Goosemaster
Freshgeardude
Diamond Member
- Jul 31, 2006
- 4,506
- 0
- 76
HamburgerBoy
Lifer
- Apr 12, 2004
- 27,111
- 318
- 126
Dear me,
You're going to do great, things will end up how you planned it but a couple of things- You were right, buying the condo for college was a good idea, but you were also right that there shouldn't be any reason why kids who didn't go to college should be making tons of money shoving loans down people's throats. Sell the condo IMMEDIATELY after you graduate from Berkeley instead of one year after (you still make money on the deal but you cut into your gains by about 45k!)
Buy buy long term calls in google and apple. Sell in late 07. Buy long term puts in anything real estate/REIT related in 2006-07, anything financially related in 07-08. DO NOT INVEST IN WAMU. Break up with her, start promoting parties now (you'll do this in 06 anyway) start hitting the weights seriously (you're going to start going 4 times a week in 08 anyway) and continue to have a great time with all your friends. Again you're doing well, but you could be doing even better!
-AE
You're going to do great, things will end up how you planned it but a couple of things- You were right, buying the condo for college was a good idea, but you were also right that there shouldn't be any reason why kids who didn't go to college should be making tons of money shoving loans down people's throats. Sell the condo IMMEDIATELY after you graduate from Berkeley instead of one year after (you still make money on the deal but you cut into your gains by about 45k!)
Buy buy long term calls in google and apple. Sell in late 07. Buy long term puts in anything real estate/REIT related in 2006-07, anything financially related in 07-08. DO NOT INVEST IN WAMU. Break up with her, start promoting parties now (you'll do this in 06 anyway) start hitting the weights seriously (you're going to start going 4 times a week in 08 anyway) and continue to have a great time with all your friends. Again you're doing well, but you could be doing even better!
-AE
RaistlinZ
Diamond Member
- Oct 15, 2001
- 7,470
- 9
- 91
Dear 2004 Me,
The next 4years are going to suck balls, but I say don't change anything because it will eventually lead to your dream job opportunity. In the meantime, I suggest the following:
- BECOME MORE ASSERTIVE AND CONFIDENT, YOU PUSSY!
- Learn how to cook
- Learn how to drive a stick
- Learn how to speak Spanish (You live in SoCal. How hard can it really be? Stop being lazy.)
- Don't bother going to the hospital for you-know-what. The pain will pass and you'll save $2,000.00 by not going.
- Don't act like a lazy brat when you go back home for a year. It'll hurt your relationship with your stepmom forever.
- Start saving money now for when you move for your new job 4 years from now, and go for a cheaper apartment for Christ's sake!
And no, I'm not giving you the winning lottery numbers, assfuck. More money leads to more problems. Make a life for yourself on your own. Be more confident.
The next 4years are going to suck balls, but I say don't change anything because it will eventually lead to your dream job opportunity. In the meantime, I suggest the following:
- BECOME MORE ASSERTIVE AND CONFIDENT, YOU PUSSY!
- Learn how to cook
- Learn how to drive a stick
- Learn how to speak Spanish (You live in SoCal. How hard can it really be? Stop being lazy.)
- Don't bother going to the hospital for you-know-what. The pain will pass and you'll save $2,000.00 by not going.
- Don't act like a lazy brat when you go back home for a year. It'll hurt your relationship with your stepmom forever.
- Start saving money now for when you move for your new job 4 years from now, and go for a cheaper apartment for Christ's sake!
And no, I'm not giving you the winning lottery numbers, assfuck. More money leads to more problems. Make a life for yourself on your own. Be more confident.
MrMatt
Banned
- Mar 3, 2009
- 3,905
- 7
- 0
Dear Me;
Stop dicking around with the gym. Eat a shit ton more.
Don't worry about Holy Cross. They'll never fix what they did, they don't care. Move on and get your degree from WSC, quickly. Don't waste a few years hemming & hawing. I know it's scary when your down to your last option, and if they turn you down then it's game over. But you have to find out sooner or later. Do it sooner. As soon as you get that degree (it'll only take a year) turn around and IMMEDIATELY get another degree, get your Bachelor's in Bio & Chem, then a master's in BioChem. By 2009 you'll be doing what you know you were meant to do. Don't end up like me, too debt ridden to go back and do what you love. But if you don't take this advice, life is still beautiful, every single second of it, and enjoy it. Marvel at the amazingness of life and keep watching birds because they really are the most fascinating things out there. Find AceMcMac, tell him not to go out that night.
Stop dicking around with the gym. Eat a shit ton more.
Don't worry about Holy Cross. They'll never fix what they did, they don't care. Move on and get your degree from WSC, quickly. Don't waste a few years hemming & hawing. I know it's scary when your down to your last option, and if they turn you down then it's game over. But you have to find out sooner or later. Do it sooner. As soon as you get that degree (it'll only take a year) turn around and IMMEDIATELY get another degree, get your Bachelor's in Bio & Chem, then a master's in BioChem. By 2009 you'll be doing what you know you were meant to do. Don't end up like me, too debt ridden to go back and do what you love. But if you don't take this advice, life is still beautiful, every single second of it, and enjoy it. Marvel at the amazingness of life and keep watching birds because they really are the most fascinating things out there. Find AceMcMac, tell him not to go out that night.
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