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Little Johnny knew that his parents would be steamered that he creamered the Beamer.
He expected his ass to be reamered.
 


<< Little Johnny knew that his parents would be steamered that he creamered the Beamer.
He expected his ass to be reamered.
>>



Dr Seuss? Is that you? 😛
 


<< "The Lord had decided this fellow had killed far too many kittens." >>



SAVE THE KITTENS FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!!!!!!! 😀
 
"Honey this is why I didn't want you to take my car"


"Ok, so that's what that button does"


"I thought you added nitrous boosters, not nitro-glyceron boosters!"
 
"Me so sowwy, me so sowwy 😉"


or


"I was driving down the street when my BMW just caught on fire. I quickly acted and poured a pitcher of cold water on it. I wonder if they'll RMA it?"
 


<< guy on phone: "yea, uhh state farm, does my insurance plan cover meteor damage?" >>


or "Honey, you did send in the insurance premium payment like I asked you to didn't you?"
 
"Pictured here is a stage IX weight reduction. This is commonly used by car jackers and neurotic riceboys."
 
John: Hey, I finally got the NOS installed!
Mike: Wow.. eh, you did it by yourself?
John: Yeah sure, it was easy!
Mike: Umm.. k..
John: Let's go test it!
Mike: Dunno 'bout that..
John: Oh c'mon, what's the worst thing that could happen?

(see pic)
 
damnit!!! why did i take the heatsink off....


or

hmm...wonder if that artsy chick at starbucks will put out now that my car has that industrial look.
 
"But I thought Bill Nye said it was okay to light your farts." 😱

Or

"UGH, I hate when that happens!"
 
"I swear officer, i was only going 20!" "a ticket?!?!? for this?!?!?" "you stupid *beep* mother *beep* *beep* i'm going to *beep* on your head and then make you *beep* swallow it you stupid *beep*" "i'm going to jail? noooooooooooooo, i can't.......i have unpaid parking tickets" 🙁
 
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