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Would you allow your child to go to Religious Services?

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I'm in somewhat of the same dilemma only I'm still married. My wife wants to take my son to church and I don't really have a problem with it, even though I don't believe in church per se. I am a very spiritual person and I strongly believe in the existence of a God, but it's probably nothing like any church preaches.

I attended church faithfully for many years and I became disillusioned with organized religion as a whole, doesn't matter what denomination.

My wife was raised Catholic and she wants to take my son to a Catholic church. Even though I believe Catholicism has all the worst traits of what I dislike in a church, I'm not going to stand in the way of them going. I've just made it clear that while I support them going, I will not be attending any functions with them.

It certainly isn't going to hurt them unless a priest takes personal interest in my son. If that happens, I'll be posting from ATOT in FPMITA prison. BTW, that has nothing to do with my dislike for organized religion.

I"ll post my beliefs or theories some other time, but I'm far from agnostic or atheist. Quite the opposite, I pray daily, it's just to a God of MY understanding, not what a church or another man tells me what it should be.
 
She just wants to go to be with her friends. Church is, for most -goers, more of a social event than anything. And quite frankly, you'd do more harm than good if you didn't let her go. The last thing you want is for her to go to church out of spite. Then she might become a true believer out of spite too. Plus, it might be educational. Lots of churches are composed of good, kind, charitable people, (that will probably set her to work on volunteer projects and keep her active in school and sports), despite what AT might have you believe.

And yeah, don't let her go to any wacko cults if that's the case. You said small town though, so I'm thinking it's probably something very mainstream.
 
let her go. it seems that is what she wants. so let her. prohibiting her or preventing her from going to church is just as bad as making her go to religious services.
 
Originally posted by: mercanucaribe
Something is wrong when kids WANT to go to church. Protestants really start brainwashing children early-- You'll never find a Catholic kid who wants to go to church.
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QFT. My Mom always made us go to church on Sunday...god I hated it. Probably part of the reason why I find religion so repulsive now.

Still, I would allow her to go. What can it hurt really?
 
As a kid, my parents said they were Christian but never attended church. Around the age of 12, I started feeling bad because everybody else I knew in the world was going to church every Sunday. I started going by myself. My parents were supportive and even woke up early to help me get ready. I went to night classes to learn about the bible so I could get baptized. After about a month of going to church and these clases, I realized what a load of crap the whole thing was and stopped going. Flash forward to the present time, now I'm an atheist.
 
Geez people here are just as scared as the fundies, it seems. The kid will make her own decision later in life. I went to a church twice a week every day with a bunch of evangelists until I was probably 16 and it wasn't brain washing. Take it as "here's what this group of people believe" and you're golden.

If you're really worried about it, sit in on a "sunday school" type lecture one day (I'm assuming this is what you're kid is doing) and judge for yourself what they're doing. 9 times out of 10 they're coloring pictures, gluing macaroni to a piece of paper, baking cookies, or doing one of numerous other activities that have very little to do with religion heh. The only time I'd raise a red flag is if they're being specifically taught to be intolerant.. but other than that, you have nothing to worry about.
 
1) She's a kid. What is "church" really going to be to an 8 year old? Friends to hang out with. Commeradarie with other people. Feeling part of a group? Is that really so bad?

2) Are you going to stand in her way of finding that? Please say no.

3) What if she does get it into her head that shes a Jesus Loving Bible Thumper? Just because you have issues with it, doesn't mean she will... Even if it bothers you, its her life. Really what is so bad about her finding friendship in church even if she says she loves Jesus and God? Christians aren't being persecuted... Yet, even though I start to wonder if the time is near. She still has time to change her mind... And will probably do so half a dozen times during her life anyways.

4) You don't need to convince her that its a bad idea and christians suck. She has friends on one hand, and father on the other in a tug of war. Do you think an 8 year old is ready for that? To her, its people to hang out with, and friendship. Its not so bad!

Cliffs:
1) Let your child be a child, even if that means she is going to a church.
 
Originally posted by: brandonb
1) She's a kid. What is "church" really going to be to an 8 year old? Friends to hang out with. Commeradarie with other people. Feeling part of a group? Is that really so bad?

2) Are you going to stand in her way of finding that? Please say no.

3) What if she does get it into her head that shes a Jesus Loving Bible Thumper? Just because you have issues with it, doesn't mean she will... Even if it bothers you, its her life. Really what is so bad about her finding friendship in church even if she says she loves Jesus and God? Christians aren't being persecuted... Yet, even though I start to wonder if the time is near. She still has time to change her mind... And will probably do so half a dozen times during her life anyways.

4) You don't need to convince her that its a bad idea and christians suck. She has friends on one hand, and father on the other in a tug of war. Do you think an 8 year old is ready for that? To her, its people to hang out with, and friendship. Its not so bad!

Cliffs:
1) Let your child be a child, even if that means she is going to a church.
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QFT :thumbsup:
 
I never encourage participation in religion for the young because they aren't cognitively able to deal with it yet. Since you have no rights in this case (unless you managed to get it in the custody agreement) your options are limited.

I wouldn't take the course "christianity is flawed". That's adversarial and not educational. Instead begin working on critical thinking, logic, science, and history. You might also want to go into a comparitive religion lesson plan to teach about all the various faiths over time. Again, not with any proving or disproving, just an establishment of facts and progression. Armed with that knowledge your daughter can reach her own decisions when her cognitive and psychological development allow for it. You must come to grips with the fact that her decision may be to become an adherent to some religion, and she has every right to that belief.

If you need help desiging a learning outline I'd suggest E.D. Hirsch Jr.
 
Thanks for the replies everyone! I thought this thread had died without a single reply back! Ha!

Well, I don't think I ever seriously was going to force her not to go. That would be the same as me forcing her TO go, which is silly. I was forced to go to church and that's probably what started my opinions about Christianity.

I guess, my point to this whole thing is that I'm not sure how to approach her in regards to other religions. She only knows one right now...I bet she has no idea that there are other religions where people believe different things...also, how do I tell her my beliefs? It just seems like she would be to young to grasp all of it, especially if I said, "You know most of the people at that Church are nut-jobs."

You all are right. She's going to Church because her friends are there...it just drives me crazy when I think that she's probably sitting in a circle singing, "I'm a C-H. I'm a C-H. I'm a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N!.....blah...blah...blah..."

😀

(No offense to the Christians here)
 
Originally posted by: Nutdotnet
Thanks for the replies everyone! I thought this thread had died without a single reply back! Ha!

Well, I don't think I ever seriously was going to force her not to go. That would be the same as me forcing her TO go, which is silly. I was forced to go to church and that's probably what started my opinions about Christianity.

I guess, my point to this whole thing is that I'm not sure how to approach her in regards to other religions. She only knows one right now...I bet she has no idea that there are other religions where people believe different things...also, how do I tell her my beliefs? It just seems like she would be to young to grasp all of it, especially if I said, "You know most of the people at that Church are nut-jobs."

You all are right. She's going to Church because her friends are there...it just drives me crazy when I think that she's probably sitting in a circle singing, "I'm a C-H. I'm a C-H. I'm a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N!.....blah...blah...blah..."

😀

(No offense to the Christians here)
Click to expand...

PM me with an email address, I'll send you copies of my religion lesson plan that I use. It's based loosely on the outline established by E.D. Hirsh Jr. but with a strong History slant since that's my specialty. There are other great options if you'd rather customize it. You might want to contact professors that teach comparitive religion and ask them for input or copies of their syllabi. Be sure to adjust to your childs learning style and cognitive strengths/weaknesses.
 
Originally posted by: Nutdotnet
Thanks for the replies everyone! I thought this thread had died without a single reply back! Ha!

Well, I don't think I ever seriously was going to force her not to go. That would be the same as me forcing her TO go, which is silly. I was forced to go to church and that's probably what started my opinions about Christianity.

I guess, my point to this whole thing is that I'm not sure how to approach her in regards to other religions. She only knows one right now...I bet she has no idea that there are other religions where people believe different things...also, how do I tell her my beliefs? It just seems like she would be to young to grasp all of it, especially if I said, "You know most of the people at that Church are nut-jobs."

You all are right. She's going to Church because her friends are there...it just drives me crazy when I think that she's probably sitting in a circle singing, "I'm a C-H. I'm a C-H. I'm a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N!.....blah...blah...blah..."

😀

(No offense to the Christians here)
Click to expand...

You know kids are pretty smart. Who knows what she does and doesn't know about other religions. I would simply let her explore. Religion is something deeply personal, and you should encourage her to ask questions about what she sees, hears, or witnesses from various religious groups.
 
If she wants to go to Church, let her. I was forced to attend mass for 17 years, and I hated it. My parents didn't let me have a say in the matter, and I don't complain because of all they do for me, but I would have liked a choice all the same. Let her go, but make sure she knows that it's her choice. She'll figure out whether or not she wants to be part of that faith or not.
 
I'm definitely open to it. I've tried learning about a variety of religions and they just didn't work out for me. I'm not going to deny my child the opportunity to learn.
 
I suggest bringing here to other christian and non-christian services to expand her source on religion, as well as maybe explaining to her some of your point of view.

The important thing is not to force anything upon her or deny her anything.
 
So you'd rather push your religion on her instead of her learning who Christ is? What's so bad about instill in children it's wrong to do bad things, but you can still obtain salvation?
 
Freedom of choice, Freedom of religion

If she ends up going to church she will realize her mistake later in life, and will choose to correct it then.

/thread
 
Originally posted by: Kristi2k
You sound like you're contridicting your self... you state that you don't believe in God, or what have you and you don't like having ones beliefs pushed onto you, so why push yours on your child? I understand that she is young, let her experience it for herself. No matter what you do, you cannot change your childs mind especially when she gets older.
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Originally posted by: So
Oh, man. Definitely. I'm an atheist, and I've always found mass religion to be silly, even when I was that age. But you can't force it on her. Give her a chance to find her own way. If her mother is forcing / strongly encouraging her, then you may well be right to say no. But if your daughter is doing this on her own, I guarantee you that it'll be worse for everyone if you try to stop her. Just make sure you support her every step of the way and explain your views completely and carefully. Don't shut yourself out of the dialog by being reactionary.
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My thoughts. Let her go, it'll be a good way to open up discussion with her.

And you never know.... maybe they're right!
 
if people cant figure out why organized religion is flawed on their own, nothing you can do will change that

otoh, if thats what makes my kid happy, so be it
 
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