Would it bother you if your SO...

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L

Lola

Originally posted by: sdifox
try to direct budget to shrink instead? changing your physical attributes is not going to help. Problem is in the head.

How big is your manhood? no one can see that... what if it was plastered right in front of you for all to see? If it was small... you would feel not like a man... same goes for a women wanting implants. Breasts are what define a woman. they give her a curvy body. They are out there for anyone to see. Looking in the mirror everyday seeing virtually no chest hurts when you are a women.
(sorry, i will stop now, everyone knows how i feel)
 

DougK62

Diamond Member
Mar 28, 2001
8,035
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I really don't care what others do with their bodies as long as it doesn't affect anyone else.

But I do think that boob enhancements are really silly, and I think the real self-esteem issue should be addressed instead of having surgery.

If I wanted to get a second job to buy a fancy sports car because I liked people looking at me when I drove it, I liked the confidence it gave me, it made me feel good to have it, etc. I'd be told to see a shrink. And this doesn't even involve potentially dangerous surgery.

 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
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www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: DougK62
I really don't care what others do with their bodies as long as it doesn't affect anyone else.

But I do think that boob enhancements are really silly, and I think the real self-esteem issue should be addressed instead of having surgery.

If I wanted to get a second job to buy a fancy sports car because I liked people looking at me when I drove it, I liked the confidence it gave me, it made me feel good to have it, etc. I'd be told to see a shrink. And this doesn't even involve potentially dangerous surgery.


I think anybody who would tell you that you need to see a shrink simply because you wanted a sports car badly enough to work extra for it would be way out of line.

I'm just thinking over scheduling,wondering if it would be better to try to just grab up overtime at my main job or to take a second position.OT would pay better and mean more freetime at home but I get major brain drain from the job.

I'd like to try to meet some personal goals but not neglect my family:)
 

Patt

Diamond Member
Jan 30, 2000
5,288
2
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I'd be upset about the lack of family time, but if it was something she really wanted to do, it wouldn't take a second job to get it done. I don't think it'll ever be an issue though at my house.
 

eakers

Lifer
Aug 14, 2000
12,169
2
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as long as it didn't interfere too much with our alone time then I would be fine with it. In your case this is especially true because there is no children involved that you might be taking time away from.

OTOH my SO gets upset when I spend money and get my hair done so I assume he has a different point of view.
 
Dec 4, 2002
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Depends on what was getting done. A shelfish part of me would say it would bother me, becuase that time my SO is working just to get the surgery, is less time spent with me and everyone else that is close to her. Another part of me says, if she really wants it, she should be able to do whatever she wants. If I came to the later conclusion, I would first try to pay for the surgery another way so that my SO didn't have to get a 2nd job.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
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Originally posted by: eakers
as long as it didn't interfere too much with our alone time then I would be fine with it. In your case this is especially true because there is no children involved that you might be taking time away from.

OTOH my SO gets upset when I spend money and get my hair done so I assume he has a different point of view.

Why does he get mad? do you work? I tend to feel gulity doing things just for myself.It's like all my efforts need to be directed toward furthering the family's interests.
 

KK

Lifer
Jan 2, 2001
15,903
4
81
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
Originally posted by: sdifox
try to direct budget to shrink instead? changing your physical attributes is not going to help. Problem is in the head.

How big is your manhood? no one can see that... what if it was plastered right in front of you for all to see? If it was small... you would feel not like a man... same goes for a women wanting implants. Breasts are what define a woman. they give her a curvy body. They are out there for anyone to see. Looking in the mirror everyday seeing virtually no chest hurts when you are a women.
(sorry, i will stop now, everyone knows how i feel)

is it kinda like the mindset that those anorexic people have?
 

sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,162
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It would bother me. Because after the surgery, it's back to real life. And if you can't change what's going on in your head without going under the knife, then what's the point?
 

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
13,430
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81
Do you ask because Red's having a problem with it or are you just trying to get some lively discussion going?
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
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Originally posted by: sixone
It would bother me. Because after the surgery, it's back to real life. And if you can't change what's going on in your head without going under the knife, then what's the point?

What's going on in my head is just fine,it's what's going on in other areas that's alarming:p
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
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Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Do you ask because Red's having a problem with it or are you just trying to get some lively discussion going?

I'm trying to get discussion going, I tend to have a problem doing big things just for myself,I feel guilty if all my efforts aren't directed towards improving the entire family's prospects.
 

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
13,430
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Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: sixone
It would bother me. Because after the surgery, it's back to real life. And if you can't change what's going on in your head without going under the knife, then what's the point?

What's going on in my head is just fine,it's what's going on in other areas that's alarming:p

I know what you mean. :laugh: It sucks getting older. I am a bit jealous that you're at a place in your life where your needs don't have to constantly take a back seat to other people's. I'm still at a place where I'm so focused on taking care of my spouse and kids that I almost never take any time to even stop to think about myself. I'd love to have a few things done, mostly get my eyes fixed, get braces back on my lower teeth to get them back in perfect alignment, have a couple small moles removed, that sort of thing, but when I think about it, I can never justify spending money on it because there are so many other things that the money could be spent on instead.
 

sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,162
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Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: sixone
It would bother me. Because after the surgery, it's back to real life. And if you can't change what's going on in your head without going under the knife, then what's the point?

What's going on in my head is just fine,it's what's going on in other areas that's alarming:p

As alarming as your hint about married people not spending much time together? Or as your comment about feeling guilty when you do something just for yourself?
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
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Originally posted by: sixone
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: sixone
It would bother me. Because after the surgery, it's back to real life. And if you can't change what's going on in your head without going under the knife, then what's the point?

What's going on in my head is just fine,it's what's going on in other areas that's alarming:p

As alarming as your hint about married people not spending much time together? Or as your comment about feeling guilty when you do something just for yourself?

I think a lot of people with families feel guilty when they spend a lot of money or time on things that don't benefit the family as a whole Six. As to marriage and "spending time together"goes,think about it..is sitting in the same room or being in the same house while engaged in separate activities like watching tv or surfing the net really "spending time together" ? I'm not talking about skipping out on long standing plans or regular outtings.
 

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
13,430
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Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Do you ask because Red's having a problem with it or are you just trying to get some lively discussion going?

I'm trying to get discussion going, I tend to have a problem doing big things just for myself,I feel guilty if all my efforts aren't directed towards improving the entire family's prospects.

Me too. I'm exactly that way. I think we're programmed to be this way from the moment we have kids.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
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Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: sixone
It would bother me. Because after the surgery, it's back to real life. And if you can't change what's going on in your head without going under the knife, then what's the point?

What's going on in my head is just fine,it's what's going on in other areas that's alarming:p

I know what you mean. :laugh: It sucks getting older. I am a bit jealous that you're at a place in your life where your needs don't have to constantly take a back seat to other people's. I'm still at a place where I'm so focused on taking care of my spouse and kids that I almost never take any time to even stop to think about myself. I'd love to have a few things done, mostly get my eyes fixed, get braces back on my lower teeth to get them back in perfect alignment, have a couple small moles removed, that sort of thing, but when I think about it, I can never justify spending money on it because there are so many other things that the money could be spent on instead.

I hear ""Ï'm jealous" a lot from my aged peer friends who are still actively parenting... I remind them that while they were in college,clubbing,traveling and having fun,I was wringing out cloth diapers and dealing with colic.. you pay early or you pay later :)

I'll tell you though,that feeling of having to justify large expenditures never goes away.

oh.. I used to envy my childless friend's ability to sleep thru the night and to sleep in... I used to dream of the day that I could get a good night's sleep... the kids grew up and bam! menopause related insominia! When I die,my stone will read "Finally,I can get some freakin sleep!" :D
 

eits

Lifer
Jun 4, 2005
25,206
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www.integratedssr.com
depends on the surgery and why. if she's addicted to plastic surgery or seems like she needs therapy to work things our rather than surgery, then, yeah, i'd be pissed.
 

sdifox

No Lifer
Sep 30, 2005
94,681
14,934
126
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
Originally posted by: sdifox
try to direct budget to shrink instead? changing your physical attributes is not going to help. Problem is in the head.

How big is your manhood? no one can see that... what if it was plastered right in front of you for all to see? If it was small... you would feel not like a man... same goes for a women wanting implants. Breasts are what define a woman. they give her a curvy body. They are out there for anyone to see. Looking in the mirror everyday seeing virtually no chest hurts when you are a women.
(sorry, i will stop now, everyone knows how i feel)

Err, ok, I really hope your 2 fat cell globules don't define who you are. And they are back pain inducing. But if you really think that way, then go ahead. Maybe cheaper than trying to get a shrink to help you fix your head. Size of breast may have played a role back in the caveman days since bigger boob seems to be more able to feed more milk to baby (false). I surely hope we are beyond clobbering a woman in the head and dragging her back to the cave (to use the cartoon version of caveman)
 

Linflas

Lifer
Jan 30, 2001
15,395
78
91
Depends on the type of plastic surgery. If it were to correct a birth defect or to reconstruct something damaged by disease or injury then no the only thing that would bother me is her thinking she would need to do it outside our normal budget. If it was just a vanity type plastic surgery then yes it would bother me a bit but in the end it is her body and her business.
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,853
1,048
126
I'm all for her getting surgery if it helps her self-esteem. Yes, I would be. Something like giving birth, nursing, etc. can be harsh... ya think ?