would it be ethical to lie to my aunt?

[nageov3t]

this august, I'm moving into the first floor apartment in the 2-family house that my 90 year-old great aunt owns/lives in. she wants to give me a break in the rent, but the break she wants to give me is a little, well... absurd. like to the point where I know that I wouldn't even be paying the property taxes and utilities.

my mom handles all of her banking and finances, so would it be ethical to, say, give my aunt a check for the amount that she wants to charge me but tell my mom not to deposit the check and I'll just arrange an auto-payment from my bank into her account for a more appropriate amount?

 

[Balt]

That would be a mistake.

 

[RKS]

unless you know your aunt is unable to make a sound decision; pay what she asks.

 

[magomago]

maybe she is totally flushed with cash. I know of people from that age who lived through the great depression and are stingy even if they have millions in the bank....maybe this is her way of not being stingy.

Anyways at age90 I'd just take the offer regardless of how absurd it is. God bless your aunt and may she live fruitfully, but she is 90 years old....unless she is living paycheck to paycheck (or welfare check, or whatever check), I doubt that the rent you are going to pay her is going to make or break her, providing she even cares at this point.

 

[amdhunter]

Depends. Pics of Aunt?

 

[Gigantopithecus]

You should tell your aunt that you know the amount she's asking won't even cover property taxes and utilities, and that you do not expect such a generous break on the rent. If she reconsiders, issue resolved. If she insists, be grateful for the discount and go out of your way to do thoughtful things for her, like minor repairs, improving the landscaping, etc.

 

[Newbian]

Depends. Pics of Aunt?

So is that under the same law as fine wine is aged to perfection?

 

[3chordcharlie]

Not your job to worry about this as long as your great aunt is a competent decision maker. Which is something you should leave to your parents' generation to decide.

Cut the lawn, shovel the snow, etc. Be a good live-in nephew, not a parent.

 

[lxskllr]

Depends. Pics of Aunt?

Might be both.

 

[waggy]

You should tell your aunt that you know the amount she's asking won't even cover property taxes and utilities, and that you do not expect such a generous break on the rent. If she reconsiders, issue resolved. If she insists, be grateful for the discount and go out of your way to do thoughtful things for her, like minor repairs, improving the landscaping, etc.

this. talk to her. she may remember how hard it is to start out and want's to give you a great opportunity.

if she insist and knows it does not cover everything say thank you and count your blessings.

 

[AlienCraft]

this. talk to her. she may remember how hard it is to start out and want's to give you a great opportunity.

if she insist and knows it does not cover everything say thank you and count your blessings.

x2 this.
Be #1 nephew.

 

[MJinZ]

this august, I'm moving into the first floor apartment in the 2-family house that my 90 year-old great aunt owns/lives in. she wants to give me a break in the rent, but the break she wants to give me is a little, well... absurd. like to the point where I know that I wouldn't even be paying the property taxes and utilities.

my mom handles all of her banking and finances, so would it be ethical to, say, give my aunt a check for the amount that she wants to charge me but tell my mom not to deposit the check and I'll just arrange an auto-payment from my bank into her account for a more appropriate amount?

LOL... you are hilarious.

Your Aunt wants to do something nice for you, and she's 90 years old. Do you think she really needs rent from you at all?

Somehow, people think money equalizes everything, but you would probably end up squandering her generosity by refusing to accept it and going behind her back to give her money.

Ask your mom what she thinks and maybe you'll get a clearer big picture.

Don't be a stranger, unless you really are strangers.

 

[K1052]

If she is of sound mind I'd assume she knows what she's doing. As long as your mom says she's financially ok I don't see a problem.

Personally I think if I lived to be 90 the last thing on my mind would be dinging family members for market rate rent. Some people actually understand that you can't take it with you.

 

[Terzo]

You should tell your aunt that you know the amount she's asking won't even cover property taxes and utilities, and that you do not expect such a generous break on the rent. If she reconsiders, issue resolved. If she insists, be grateful for the discount and go out of your way to do thoughtful things for her, like minor repairs, improving the landscaping, etc.

this. talk to her. she may remember how hard it is to start out and want's to give you a great opportunity.

if she insist and knows it does not cover everything say thank you and count your blessings.

x2 this.
Be #1 nephew.

Thirded. This is a great suggestion.

 

[AreaCode707]

Use the extra money to take her to lunch, go to the occasional museum, do stuff she likes to do. At 90 she probably wants the company of a grateful and attentive nephew more than she wants the cash. Outliving your contemporaries can be a lonely ordeal.

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

Might be both.

good post

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

you should tell your aunt that you know the amount she's asking won't even cover property taxes and utilities, and that you do not expect such a generous break on the rent. If she reconsiders, issue resolved. If she insists, be grateful for the discount and go out of your way to do thoughtful things for her, like minor repairs, improving the landscaping, etc.

win!

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

she's 90 years old. Do you think she really needs rent from you at all?

I don't know this particular situation of course, but the vast majority of people of her age are hurting for money. I wouldn't assume that she doesn't need it but in any case consider it is also a distinct possibility she would rather not let him know if she was.

 

[sandorski]

Is she the type of Aunt that gives a shiny Quarter to Grandkids to buy Penny Candy?

 

[Perknose]

Does anyone else think the OP is more posturing to make himself look saintly than anything else?

 

[Gothgar]

That would be a mistake.

/thread

 

[nageov3t]

Does anyone else think the OP is more posturing to make himself look saintly than anything else?

who needs to posture? I'm already aware of the fact that I'm the nicest guy on the face of the earth you know, except when I'm not :twisted:

 

[nageov3t]

Is she the type of Aunt that gives a shiny Quarter to Grandkids to buy Penny Candy?

she doesn't have any kids (so no grandchildren) but she's written my sister and I a check for $5 every Christmas since we've lived in NJ

 

[BoomerD]

It's NEVER ethical to lie.

In your scenario, discuss the situation with her. Explain that you can easily afford to pay her more than she's asking and would prefer to do so.

If she refuses and insists on the lower amount for rent...accept the deal.

If it bothers you, put the extra money into fixing up the house...with her permission, of course.

 

[sandorski]

she doesn't have any kids (so no grandchildren) but she's written my sister and I a check for $5 every Christmas since we've lived in NJ

$5 for XMas? That pretty much means--Yes.

She might be fully aware, mentally capable, but I wonder if she knows the value of Money these days. Bringing up to her that your Rent won't cover even basic expenses might be a good thing to do. If she still insists on the Deal, then letting it go is the correct action to take.

Don't mention the $5 for XMas though.