dude this stuff happens. LolaWiz said it, let it go.
when I was helping with my cousin's wedding, I got people who never rsvp suddenly show up, then I got my uncle's friend who were in town visiting. He knew but didn't tell anyone who was doing the seating chart and dinner.
The good thing is you know now before the day off. I'm willing ot bet you'll have some more surprises the day of.
when I was helping with my cousin's wedding, I got people who never rsvp suddenly show up, then I got my uncle's friend who were in town visiting. He knew but didn't tell anyone who was doing the seating chart and dinner.
The good thing is you know now before the day off. I'm willing ot bet you'll have some more surprises the day of.
Ask him if he can be nice and you will pay for the food portion but would like a refund on the servers because the servers won't be serving more peopel 
Sure, but they have to plan for some waste. Think about it. 5% should make no difference either way for the caterer but would allow you some no shows (say 5 out of 100).
I'd put in a call to the caterer and explain the situation and hope they could work something out. If not, I'd probably forget about it and concentrate on what's important.
We're going through the same thing now. Our wedding is 1 month from today, and we will be planning our seating charts this weekend. The RSVPs were due back to us today, and we still have just under 100 people who have not even replied yet! In total, we invited close to 300.
PingSpike
Lifer
- Feb 25, 2004
- 21,756
- 600
- 126
Of course they're shafting you. When you start planning a wedding, you're basically putting a sign around your neck that says "Please rip me off" You're screwed because, in my example, you can't just dump the cake maker because they decided that there was a $50 charge for the cake plate three days before the wedding. Every fiber of my being was screaming "Tell them to take that cake plate, and insert it in their rectrum." But since its special order, planned, and a non-refundable deposit is involved, you grin and take it from behind yet again.
It depends. The catering hall we used let us hold back 5% for this very reason. We were supposed to pay up after the wedding. It came in handy as there were a few no-shows.
dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
- 25,913
- 4,502
- 126
Next wedding, do things right. If 200 people RSVP, then order 190 plates (~5% of people tend to not show up). The caterer usually cooks extra, and if they do show up, there will be food available.
Also, next wedding, DON'T tell any business it is a wedding. Instantly you doubled the cost. If the caterer thought it was a retirement party, you'd have a whole new set of rules, much cheaper prices, and the ability to probably change the number of guests. As soon as they hear "wedding" they know people are no longer using common sense and are willing to put up with a high price and a lot of crap.
Also, next wedding, DON'T tell any business it is a wedding. Instantly you doubled the cost. If the caterer thought it was a retirement party, you'd have a whole new set of rules, much cheaper prices, and the ability to probably change the number of guests. As soon as they hear "wedding" they know people are no longer using common sense and are willing to put up with a high price and a lot of crap.
$hit happens get over it. dont let a few hundred dollars ruin a great moment in your life. There are always mishaps in weddings and if you get too anal, you wont enoy it.
That which is in bold above is a sentiment we share. It has taken me almost 50 years to get that altruistic notion put in perspective.
I think it is because we expect so much of ourselves and would like to believe that we would never do that.
If that were only true....
Don't hold their feet to the fire about it, but neither don't put yourself in a financial hook for them either.
Ask yourself if the cost per place is really worth their friendship. Granted it is a rude thing to do (cancel without better notice) but it's far better than a no-show without any notice.
As a former sound company salesman, I can testify that the preceding statement has been told to me by more than one employer.
Your getting married on the same day my sister is. April 21. I just got off the phone with her about 5 minutes ago, and she said 112 ppl RSVP'd and the rest she has to chase down.. mostly because they are our parents brothers and sisters. So it's odd they havent even RSVP'd yet. They were due in March 1.
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
Get 5 plates to go. Tell 'em to put the food in take home containers and have a friend/relative take it home. leftovers rock.
MikeyIs4Dcats
Lifer
- Nov 5, 2001
- 18,366
- 3
- 0
I feel your pain. Our wedding had about 150 RSVP, about 130 showed, despite most of them having been called 3 weeks prior to determine their status. 3 months was too early to require RSVPs however, about 30 days is better as things change.
MikeyIs4Dcats
Lifer
- Nov 5, 2001
- 18,366
- 3
- 0
I feel your pain. Our wedding had about 150 RSVP, about 130 showed, despite most of them having been called 3 weeks prior to determine their status. 3 months was too early to require RSVPs however, about 30 days is better as things change.
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