Wife's Depression

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bernse

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2000
3,229
0
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Originally posted by: Kemosabe1447...joeyman is on to something, because no, professional help is not required.

You are absolutely dead wrong. People die because of depression every day because they aren't properly helped.

Depression can be extremely serious if it doesn't go away shortly... obviously it's been an ongoing thing with her for quite some time to have been on several diferent meds.

She needs help. More than her husband can give her. People who are saying "she doesn't need a doc" are clueless and have no idea how dangerous this can be.

Talk to her, be with her, but she needs help.
 

JoeKing

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
10,641
1
81
please note I never said not to seek professional help. I believe that it's important to understanding and treating depression.
 

bernse

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2000
3,229
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Originally posted by: Joeyman
please note I never said not to seek professional help. I believe that it's important to understanding and treating depression.

Fair enough.

People have to realize that is now believed that Depression is a physical problem in the brain, usually caused by a chemical imbalance. A person suffering from depression can be physically incapable of positive thoughts. They can't "Have a good time" or "snap out of it". If they could they would, but often they quite litterally cannot do it. It's simply not possible for them. It is like someone telling you to life 5000lbs with your bare hands. You just physically are incapable of it.


 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
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OP should go to counseling as well. For himself and with his spouse.

And for anyone saying "just do things she likes, etc" has no clue about depression.

it won't just go away, one can't just snap out of it.

It takes a good amount of time. medication and psychiatrist/counseling have proven very effective.
Exercise is another great start. even just a walk around the neighboorhood.
 

WHipLAsh13

Golden Member
Jan 17, 2001
1,719
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76
Its not just your wife its wives all over the world. There must be a touch of b|tch in the water these days.
 

Cal166

Diamond Member
May 6, 2000
5,081
8
81
I know how you feel, i was in the same situation when i was dating my girlfriend.

Did you know that she has this condition when you married her?

Its really hard to handle and i know. It just sucks and hurts like hell knowing that the other person cant do anything to help.

Thats pretty much the worst feeling in this world, when the one you love and care so much for can't do anything to help.
 

gururu

Platinum Member
Jul 16, 2002
2,402
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Seems very difficult. The only thing to do is for you to ride it out with a positive attitude. This is part of her, so you'll have to hang through it. This may be beyond simple and fast remedies. I think a new environment, new job, new life should be considered. Is she happy at work? Is their kids? I think environment plays a huge role on depression.
 

NorthRiver

Golden Member
May 6, 2002
1,457
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My wife is the same way, and pills do not help the situation they only make it worse. My house is a pharmacy, hell, I even have morphine patches here
rolleye.gif
 

Tavis

Senior member
Jun 20, 2000
377
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She's had depression for years (been diagnosed). She's been on medicine for years. I thought I could handle it, but its just eating more and more at me.
 

Ausm

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
25,213
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81
Originally posted by: kermalou
cheat on her, it'll make you feel a whole lot better


Typical comment of someone who can add up his/her I.Q. on one hand...



Sysadmin
 

thomsbrain

Lifer
Dec 4, 2001
18,148
1
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sorry to hear that. as someone who's been on both sides of your coin, all i can say is i hope things work out and get better. sometimes there's just nothing you can do but wait and hope.

make sure to keep yourself healthy, though. you may need counseling of your own. after all, while you may not have her chemical problem, you are still very much wrapped up in it and going through something difficult. and sometimes depression among close people can be contagious. so just watch out for yourself as well as for her.
 

slycat

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2001
5,656
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Originally posted by: Tavis
I don't know what to do. I don't know how much more I can take. Seems like every other week my wife is depressed and its making life so hard for me. I love her, but I just don't know how much more I can take :(

call Dr.Phil.
 

ReiAyanami

Diamond Member
Sep 24, 2002
4,466
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Get yourself a prescription for Viagra. Whether you need it or not. It will solve her depression. ;)
 

Dufusyte

Senior member
Jul 7, 2000
659
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Check out DrugAwareness.org. It documents how anti-depressant medications frequently make people worse, leading to suicide or violent acts.

Several anti-depressant meds are already banned in Europe, and in the US the FDA is beginning to tighten the noose, requiring warning labels that the meds can cause "suicidal ideation" which means being obsessed with the idea of suicide.

We american's like to htink that everything can be solved with a pill. Unfortunately, pills which alter brain chemistry can be very risky. The lawsuits are already piling up, and the pharmeceutical companies have had to pay out increasingly.

The real cure for depression is:

- exercise
- sunlight
- good diet
- healthy lifestyle

By the way, it is very dangerous to get off of anti-depressant's cold turkey. If anyone wants to get off of them, be sure to seek professional assistance on how to slowly wean off of them.

Good luck.
 

Siddhartha

Lifer
Oct 17, 1999
12,505
3
81
Originally posted by: Tavis
I don't know what to do. I don't know how much more I can take. Seems like every other week my wife is depressed and its making life so hard for me. I love her, but I just don't know how much more I can take :(

Take her to a doctor!
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
yeah careful with those medications.

I quit taking zoloft cold turkey once. talk about putting me i a world of hurt. NOT FUN!
 

DigDug

Guest
Mar 21, 2002
3,143
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Tavis, here are other things known to help alleviate depression. You should:

1. Get her thyroid checked - hypothyroidism is a powerful cause of depression and most people never suspect it.
2. Get her checked for fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and all of the rheumatic diseases. They cause it as well, and are linked with hypotyroidsim in many cases.
3. Niacin deficiency - start supplementing with niacin. The good thing, is it can't hurt.
4. drink more water - persistent dehydration can cause depression.


I STRONGLY suggest #1 and #2. Too many people think that the cause (and therefore, cure) for depression lies with brain and its associated chemicals. Hormone balance has ALOT to do with it. Menopause, of course, is a classic example of such influence.


EDIT: I just pulled the first thing that came up on Google.

Hypothyroidism and Depression

"Patients who have symptoms of mild depression are especially at risk of misdiagnosis since they may never even see a physician to be assessed for an endocrine disorder, said Stanley. Less severe cases of hypothyroidism can be misdiagnosed as psychosomatic or simply the result of being "stressed out."

"Both the counselor and client may become discouraged or confused if there's a lack of progress with counseling therapy," said Stanley, and hypothyroidism could be the reason. "Research indicates that even with counseling and antidepressive medication, depressive symptoms can persist if the client has hypothyroidism."

Once diagnosed, most people can easily be treated for hypothyroidism with medication. After treatment, depressive and physical symptoms are likely to disappear unless there are complications, such as a co-existing depressive illness, which would also need to be treated."


Hang in there, Tavis. I was severely depressed when I was in college, and know the pain, although it seems quite disstant now. When you are down, its almost impossible to comprehend what it means to feel happy. That's the insidiousness of the disease. And, believe me, your wife knows how you feel whether you say so or not, and that too only adds another brick to the pain.
 

purepolly

Senior member
Sep 27, 2002
630
0
0
Not to push you away from AT :) , but perhaps you should find an on-line depression support forum to help you deal with the specifics of your situation. When I was still trying to deal with the ex and his mental health issues - it helped alot to talk with others who were dealing with similar problems, and could give me constructive advice on how to approach the situation.

Good luck!
 

NTB

Diamond Member
Mar 26, 2001
5,179
0
0
Lots of good information here (lots of BS, too) - bernse and dufusyte in particular. Unfortunately, I have nothing more to add than a little moral support. Having been diagnosed with (and beaten, w/o the aid of medicine, for all intents and purposes) with depression myself, I know it's not an easy thing to deal with. If that weren't enough, my girlfriend has Bipolar Disorder, so she gets bouts of depression on a regular basis herself. I can understand how you feel: It's really a b!tch to watch her go through those, especially when it seems like there's nothing I can do. I love her dearly, though, and I am there to do what I can. In a situation like this, sometimes it's all you can do. Good luck to you, and feel free to e-mail / pm me if you have any questions or just want to blow off a little steam.

Nate
 

NTB

Diamond Member
Mar 26, 2001
5,179
0
0
Originally posted by: luvya
Divorce her.

Oh yeah...that's just what she needs now
rolleye.gif


(yes, I realize - or at least hope - you were being sarcastic)

Nate