why is virginity so important to some guys?

[shopbruin]

no really tell me.

my friend has a boyfriend and he can't take the fact that she's not a virgin. he had this dream that he would only sleep with a virgin and is disappointed at times that she isn't a virgin. so he asks to do other things to compensate because he can't obviously go out and FIND a virgin to sleep with, mainly, um, to go from behind.

she doesn't want to do this. he gets mad because all he wants is a virgin "hole" just once. he keeps pressuring her, guilting her because she's not a virgin and if she loved him he would do this ONE thing to make him happy - let him go somewhere no one else has gone before. and even if she does it just once, he'll eventually want it again and again.

i say if he loves her he'd understand but he's still stuck in his virgin dream. then he threatens to not do things for her - not take her to buy groceries, give her rides places, etc. he still can't stand that she's slept with one other person - her ex bf whom she was with for over a year - and constantly annoys her about that, saying rude comments about him and the two of them together.

she doesn't want to leave him. she believes he can grow up someday and that it'll all be behind them but at the moment it's not going away.

why the hell can't guys be happy and are so damn fixated with having a virgin? shouldn't the act itself be important? whenever he says anything like that, it seems to just belittle the sex they have together already because he's not happy with it because she's not a virgin, even though he would deny that but to keep pushing that point makes it seem that way. perhaps he was just too sexually starved and made it too idealized for him after all the porn and strip clubs and what not.

i ask here because there are a lot of guys with so many different views on sex. so why?

 

[FrontlineWarrior]

umm that guy doesn't want a virgin, he just wants some ass. nice excuse though. got you both fooled. hahahaha

 

[mpitts]

It was never important to me.

Having sex with a girl that has never had sex before is not as much fun as doing the same with someone who is a bit more "experienced".

 

[amdskip]

I am a 20 year old virgin and I don't expect to find a virgin girl. It would be nice but it probably won't happen. Just say it, he wants to stick in her rear and she is refusing. That guy sounds messed up in the head, too much based on sex IMHO.

 

[kranky]

How old are they?

 

[notfred]

Haha, you certainly know a lot about the intimate details of the sex file of your "friend".

 

[shopbruin]

Originally posted by: kranky
How old are they?

early 20's. college students. and it's not that he just wants ass (well perhaps its part of it) but he wouldn't press the issue if she was a virgin because it wouldn't be "necessary" because he would have got what he wanted.

 

[olds]

Pics?

 

[Nitemare]

why is virginity so important to some guys?

Misplaced priorities


Uptight bitter overweight religious zealot who is harsh on the eyes


vs


Cute little nympho that can nitemare happy with just a thought...


Gee, Alex I will take the nympho

 

[Deeko]

Sounds like he is a moron. But if you ask me...if she lets him do it, he won't want to again....but that's just from my experiences.

 

[kranky]

Originally posted by: notfred
Haha, you certainly know a lot about the intimate details of the sex file of your "friend".

Good typo!

 

[shopbruin]

Originally posted by: notfred
Haha, you certainly know a lot about the intimate details of the sex file of your "friend".

girls talk. yeah i was waiting for the first response like this.

 

[NutBucket]

I have no clue. If anything, guys and girls alike, in my experience, don't want to be each other's first unless its for religious reasons. That's because people know they will always remember their first.

Personally, I don't see the big deal. Like you say, its the act. Its kinda like thinking of a girl's exs. What normal guy does that. They shouldn't care unless its either affecting the girl now or he's crazy. Its the last thing most guys want to think about.

So, the guy is either a little odd, or just wants to give it her up the a because of his own perogative, IMHO.

 

[Kadarin]

Here's a link to a previous ATOT discussion on the topic of virginity. My impression is that this guy seriously needs to grow up.

 

[DeafeningSilence]

So he wants to have sex with her while they're dating, but can't stand the fact that she had sex with the last guy she dated???

The bottom line is this: he's selfish, and keeps a double-standard. Your friend needs to tell him to grow up or find someone else.

 

[Czar]

Originally posted by: FrontlineWarrior
umm that guy doesn't want a virgin, he just wants some ass. nice excuse though. got you both fooled. hahahaha

thats what I think

 

[radioouman]

Yep. Grow up, friend of freesia39.

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: Deeko
Sounds like he is a moron. But if you ask me...if she lets him do it, he won't want to again....but that's just from my experiences.

Wow, that's a nasty image.

 

[kranky]

Early 20s? Then I think the guy is weird.

He's way too fixated on one particular act. He probably thinks he'll never get another chance if she doesn't give it up, so he's going to pressure her until she gives in. Does their whole relationship revolve around this? And doesn't she think that's a little strange?

If she doesn't want to, then she should just keep saying no. And if he wants to "not do things for her" because of that, she ought to ask herself why she's involved with such a guy in the first place.

 

[vi edit]

Eh. Just have her tell him that she wants to tap some virgin arse too. Have her bust out the toys and tell him to spred 'em.

 

[MartyMcFly3]

I am a 19 year old college student who is in fact a virgin (rare nowadays). I mean of course it would be nice to be the guy who "deflowers" a girl (i sound like my parents), but it shouldn't really matter. If you truly love somebody then it shouldn't matter how many times they've had sex. It's basically a minor form of discrimination. Its like saying you should feel guilty for being african-american when you are white. Kinda ironic on days of all days to post something like this (MLKJr. Day). That guy has some serious issues he needs to deal with. Sex isnt the be-all-end-all factor in a relationship. You don't want someone who will sleep with anything that moves, but to make a girl feel upset/guilty because she slept with a guy or two is just plain ridiculous. Thats my two cents.

Matt

 

[CrazyDe1]

Hes got some huge ego thing that he wants her to do somethin with him that no one else has...he thinks if she gave it to him and no one else its a ego booster...
Personally I don't want a girl thats been around but I don't want a virgin either not because it wouldnt' be good...but becuase 1. I don't wanna be remembered like that and 2. I witnessed a bloody condom in my house once and i never wanna see the site of that again....was kind of traumatizing....and I'd feel all bad about myself for hurtin the girl even if it was what she wanted...

 

[bGIveNs33]

With all this talk about double standards it's funny to see how many guys don't want a virgin, but don't want someone who has slept with a bunch of people.

 

[WinkOsmosis]

Originally posted by: freesia39
no really tell me.

my friend has a boyfriend and he can't take the fact that she's not a virgin. he had this dream that he would only sleep with a virgin and is disappointed at times that she isn't a virgin. so he asks to do other things to compensate because he can't obviously go out and FIND a virgin to sleep with, mainly, um, to go from behind.

she doesn't want to do this. he gets mad because all he wants is a virgin "hole" just once. he keeps pressuring her, guilting her because she's not a virgin and if she loved him he would do this ONE thing to make him happy - let him go somewhere no one else has gone before. and even if she does it just once, he'll eventually want it again and again.

i say if he loves her he'd understand but he's still stuck in his virgin dream. then he threatens to not do things for her - not take her to buy groceries, give her rides places, etc. he still can't stand that she's slept with one other person - her ex bf whom she was with for over a year - and constantly annoys her about that, saying rude comments about him and the two of them together.

she doesn't want to leave him. she believes he can grow up someday and that it'll all be behind them but at the moment it's not going away.

why the hell can't guys be happy and are so damn fixated with having a virgin? shouldn't the act itself be important? whenever he says anything like that, it seems to just belittle the sex they have together already because he's not happy with it because she's not a virgin, even though he would deny that but to keep pushing that point makes it seem that way. perhaps he was just too sexually starved and made it too idealized for him after all the porn and strip clubs and what not.

i ask here because there are a lot of guys with so many different views on sex. so why?

Is he a virgin?? Sounds like an asshole to me.

 

[jjones]

Your friend should dump this loser. If he wants a virgin hole, tell him to go find a tree with a virgin knothole in it.