Why do people stay at jobs they don't like for so long?

[Ns1]

They realize the grass is not always greener on the other side.

you gotta keep grazing until you find that uber grass.

 

[urvile]

There are lots of reasons people don't change jobs even after it becomes clear their career and salary isn't going to progress any further.

1. The job is all they are capable of. Although in this case they are usually happy in their role.
2. They have worked in the public sector to long and/or their role is irrelevant in the private sector.
3. It's a job and it pays the bills.

I wish I could work for a well run company. Or federal government department because I haven't yet.

 

[urvile]

They realize the grass is not always greener on the other side. That, and sometimes there just arn't any jobs in their area in their field. My biggest complaint with my job is the uncertainty of the future. The company is constantly doing restructuring and crap and just can't leave things alone, so I always am scared our department eventually becomes a target. But reality is, it's like that everywhere now days, so no point in trying to jump ship. Going to ride it out til it sinks since I like every other aspect of the job.

That said if a job is super stressful and you dread going to it, it's time to look for something else. Life is too short to deal with that crap.

Dude you should see some of the companies I have worked for. They will win the trial phase of a contract screw it up and then fire the majority of the project team. Wacky fun. That was a particularly ruthless multi national.

EDIT: I always jump ship. As soon as I can see the work is drying up I am out of there. I prefer leaving on my own terms. YMMV.

 

[Mai72]

A few people I know did quit, but cave when their workplaces just kept throwing more money at them to stay.

Then they stay miserable, but with more expensive toys they bought.

Sadly,

Those people will more likely have regret asathey get older. Which is sad. Life is short. Why do many people stay at jobs they hate to go home and numb themselves with hours of Netflix, stupid expensive toys and alcohol. Many have a bad attitude as well.

 

[Mai72]

Which I think is really the better way of living life. Slaving away and waiting until retirement to finally start enjoying life is such a waste IMHO. Balance is key.

Who says that you'll even make retirement anyway. Most people have been socially conditioned to think that this is the way to do it.

Why not retire at 45?
Why not work till 90?

In regard to the first, you still have your youth to explore the world if that's your thing. People don't take into conconsideration that your energy starts dipping big time after 40. When i was in SE Asia i didnt see many vacationers past 50.

In regard to the second, it has been researched time and time again that the people who have fulfilling and happy lives are the ones who are still engaged. Its why depression is so prevalent among old people. Many just give up and watch TV all day.

 

[purbeast0]

Don't take this negatively, but you are being somewhat short sighted and in your own bubble. While many of your points are very valid for some, we know from your forums posts you are fairly young, and fairly new to your field and job. Many of the people making comments have been at their job or career for many years and have been through the ups and downs of employment. All it takes is a single person in your work circle to change to completely F things up. Or something in your culture that majorly changes. Moving jobs may seem easy when you don't NEED to, but it is a completely different thing when you rely on a paycheck and/or maybe live somewhere that isn't a hub of your chosen path. Most people do not hate their job immediately - at least no one with any actual skills/education because as you say, they can probably get a sense from the interview.

Having said that, even though it may sound like it, I don't hate my job. I don't 'love' it, but I know me well enough to know there's not a job out there I would love that actually makes any money because working takes away from the time to do the things I do like to do (which don't make money). I've done really crap jobs for little of nothing, so doing a less crappy job for a lot more money isn't that bad -- it's all personal perspective.

So you would call 13+ years in the only field I've ever been in out of school, Software Development, being fairly new? I'm going to disagree.

I know what good and bad companies are like in this field because I've been in both of them before.

And BTW, I've never worked unpaid overtime, and I've only ever worked more than 40 hours a week exactly 2 times in my career, was compensated for it, and I no longer am at that company because they were poorly ran.

 

[ImpulsE69]

So you would call 13+ years in the only field I've ever been in out of school, Software Development, being fairly new? I'm going to disagree.

I know what good and bad companies are like in this field because I've been in both of them before.

And BTW, I've never worked unpaid overtime, and I've only ever worked more than 40 hours a week exactly 2 times in my career, was compensated for it, and I no longer am at that company because they were poorly ran.

Sorry, I stand corrected then. For some reason I thought you'd only been in it 2-3 years.

 

[Chaotic42]

So you would call 13+ years in the only field I've ever been in out of school, Software Development, being fairly new? I'm going to disagree.

I know what good and bad companies are like in this field because I've been in both of them before.

And BTW, I've never worked unpaid overtime, and I've only ever worked more than 40 hours a week exactly 2 times in my career, was compensated for it, and I no longer am at that company because they were poorly ran.

I was a "Software Engineer" for about six months and the group I worked with didn't have to work a ton of overtime, they said maybe one bad week per year depending on whether someone made a bad mistake that caused a crisis. In my profession, which is a tiny subset of a small industry, I've never heard of anyone going more than a month or two without working overtime, because it's just the nature of the business. Different worlds, I guess.

 

[Fritzo]

From personal experience, you get promoted to a position, but don't have the official credentials to move to another company.

I stayed at a job I hated for 17 years. It was soul crushing, but I didn't have the official education or certificates to get a job at the same level somewhere else. Finally someone called me in for an interview and saw me for who I am instead of looking to see if I had pieces of paper saying who I am. Been at the best company in the world for the last 3 years, making $20000 more a year than I was, and absolutely love my job and co-workers.

I can understand feeling trapped- I was. But don't give out hope. Keep those resumes out there!

 

[Red Squirrel]

Yeah the whole certification stuff can be a barrier too. If you got in as entry level and moved your way up through experience, you will have to start all over if you move companies unless you want to go back to school but most people won't be able to afford not having an income for that long.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

There are many reasons people stay. Speaking from my own experience, I know the grass isn't always greener somewhere else so any job offer I get has to be almost perfect for me to consider leaving. I'm not happy with my current position and will probably leave at some point, but let's face it - I'm almost 50 and I don't have many jumps left, because age discrimination is alive and well. It also isn't easy finding positions at my salary in the midwest and I won't move for a job unless it is somewhere I REALLY want to go. Lastly, I'll also freely admit that I really don't care that much - it is a job, not my entire life, so if the young kids want to work 60+ hour weeks, more power to them. Hopefully they'll wise up one day and realize a job is a means to an end, not the end itself.

Anyway, my goal was always to make bank into my early 50s and then settle down into a gravy train government job and coast to retirement while picking up another pension. For you government employees out there in ATOT who read that and are offended, I just have to say - sorry, it's true though.

Other than government jobs, I've never heard of any well-paying remotely technical positions which don't require at least a fair amount of overtime (paid or otherwise) or weird hours. I'm lucky in that I get comp time - I know a guy who has about 200 hours of comp time and 300 hours of vacation time banked up. It's not the norm, but it happens. I really should be working a lot more, but I'm going to graduate school and was in the hospital a few weeks ago, so I think I get somewhat of a pass.

If you want to make big money as a technical person, being a contract consultant is where it is at ESPECIALLY if you have a spouse who has a good job with good benefits. I was a Sr. SharePoint Consultant for several years and made ridiculous money with no required OT, though I would occasionally work it because - you guessed it - I got paid my insane bill rate for it.

When I was in my mid-30s, I met my wife-to-be and after having put in a ton of hours every week for years in a senior-level salaried position, I realized it wasn't worth it. I decided to get a life and insisted on normal hours. It was one of the best decisions I've made and unfortunately, my current job is forcing me in the opposite direction. I hope it is temporary, but we'll see. As I said above, I am strongly considering leaving and probably will, but it is harder as you get older.

They would lose their seniority if they changed jobs.

The number of companies who offer 10 days of PTO, even to senior people with decades of experience, is amazing. I can't tell you how many times I've been contacted by companies advertising "generous" PTO, and when I ask them their PTO policy, they say "10 days, but you get 5 more days after being here 5 years!" I mean REALLY? You expect a senior-level resource, who has worked in the industry nearly 25 years, to accept garbage like that when other companies are offering much more?

 

[Chaotic42]

There are many reasons people stay. Speaking from my own experience, I know the grass isn't always greener somewhere else so any job offer I get has to be almost perfect for me to consider leaving. I'm not happy with my current position and will probably leave at some point, but let's face it - I'm almost 50 and I don't have many jumps left, because age discrimination is alive and well. It also isn't easy finding positions at my salary in the midwest and I won't move for a job unless it is somewhere I REALLY want to go. Lastly, I'll also freely admit that I really don't care that much - it is a job, not my entire life, so if the young kids want to work 60+ hour weeks, more power to them. Hopefully they'll wise up one day and realize a job is a means to an end, not the end itself.

I'm 35 and I'm struggling to find a life outside of school and work. I don't know what I'd do if I just worked 40 hours per week and that was it. I guess I'm a classic workaholic.

 

[purbeast0]

LOL @ 10 days PTO. Any company that offers less than 20 days I wouldn't even bother talking to. I have 27 days now which I know is good but no chance I'd go lower than 20 again.

Even companies I've talked to that offer "unlimited PTO" I talk to them to ask them what that means in reality.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

I'm 35 and I'm struggling to find a life outside of school and work. I don't know what I'd do if I just worked 40 hours per week and that was it. I guess I'm a classic workaholic.

Working a ton of extra hours isn’t a badge of honor. The American system of celebrating what I call “work martyrs” is one of the things wrong in our society IMO.

People who end up losing vacation days at the end of the year because they’re “too busy” to use them aren’t heroes - they’re fools.

 

[Chaotic42]

Working a ton of extra hours isn’t a badge of honor. The American system of celebrating what I call “work martyrs” is one of the things wrong in our society IMO.

People who end up losing vacation days at the end of the year because they’re “too busy” to use them aren’t heroes - they’re fools.

I just need to find something interesting to do and/or move somewhere I want to live. Any time I go do stuff, I'm reminded of where I live.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

LOL @ 10 days PTO. Any company that offers less than 20 days I wouldn't even bother talking to. I have 27 days now which I know is good but no chance I'd go lower than 20 again.

Even companies I've talked to that offer "unlimited PTO" I talk to them to ask them what that means in reality.

It is a joke to look someone in the eye and say “our generous PTO is 10 days!” I graduated from college in 93 and have NEVER had a job with so few vacation days. It is insulting to even offer that, especially when the rest of your comp package isn’t great to begin with. My comp package now is the ONLY reason I’m considering staying at my current company.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

I just need to find something interesting to do and/or move somewhere I want to live. Any time I go do stuff, I'm reminded of where I live.

Hey, I’ve been there. Before I met my wife, I worked a lot of hours and I’ll be honest - many of those hours were because I didn’t want to go home to my empty house. Fortunately it all changed for me and it will for you too.

 

[Ns1]

Re: consulting

Health insurance is a major issue if you don't have a spouse with good insurance. And if there are pre-existing conditions involved I have no idea how that would work.

 

[VirtualLarry]

The devil you know's better than the devil you don't.

Which is why I'm still running Windows on my boxes. Thought I do have triple-boot rig, Win10 64-bit, Win7 64-bit, and Linux Mint 64-bit.

 

[VirtualLarry]

Hey, I’ve been there. Before I met my wife, I worked a lot of hours and I’ll be honest - many of those hours were because I didn’t want to go home to my empty house. Fortunately it all changed for me and it will for you too.

When I was working at a startup in my 20s, I often slept in the office (game programming software job), rather than go home to my rented room. Made more sense than wasting time commuting. Boy, was that a full-time job and then some.

 

[VirtualLarry]

There are a lot of defeated people out there. They've accepted their position in life even though they hate it and given up on improving it in any way. These people have a few things they enjoy in life, generally bad habits, and as long as they can do those things each day they will deal with the rest of the negatives. This doesn't prohibit them from complaining about those things though.

That describes me, somewhat. And now I feel like going out and buying some lotto scratch tickets. (Just got my SS check in. Yay me. Already spent more than I should have on some APC UPSes, all of my current UPSes are dead.)

 

[VirtualLarry]

you gotta keep grazing until you find that uber grass.

Wait till you find out that you've been living and working in an Easter Basket, and there's a whole Real World out there...

 

[VirtualLarry]

I just need to find something interesting to do and/or move somewhere I want to live. Any time I go do stuff, I'm reminded of where I live.

You live near Red Squirrel? Or Mayne?

 

[Chaotic42]

You live near Red Squirrel? Or Mayne?

St. Louis

 

[urvile]

When I was working at a startup in my 20s, I often slept in the office (game programming software job), rather than go home to my rented room. Made more sense than wasting time commuting. Boy, was that a full-time job and then some.

Game companies seem to be very demanding back when team Bondi was a thing a buddy of mine was offered a position with them. He turned them down due to their reputation for deliberately burning out employees.*

I had a job that almost burnt me out. I was working on a project that was a monster clusterfuck. It was unrelenting chaos, management blunders and pressure for two years until it was cancelled.

* grads because they are eager in plentiful supply and cheap.