Why do I have to get this kind of news at work? While I'm on a call, no less?

[Stark]

<< . I'm tired of riding the roller-coaster, one minute she's debating children's names &amp; the next she's wishing her boy toy would invite her over for another make-out session. >>



Run. Run away while you still can. You can not win with a woman like this!

 

[geno]

Viper, I know how this kind of thing can be. If she's serious, at least be happy that you didn't have to find out on your own. It's even harder when you have to 'sense' when this kind of thing is going on. I've had to do it twice, and it's no fun. It makes saying no even harder...and makes things much more confusing. Look on the bright side, she came out into the open with something she thought needed to be done, there's no guessing there. I'm sure if you keep in touch and stay close with her, you guys will get together, but only when the time is right. Hang in there man, thing's will get better...

 

[iamwiz82]

I believe women are given that speech when puberty hits. It must be in the girl's locker room in high school, or something.

If she is in a relationship with you, why does she have a boy toy? Its not worth the pain man. Trust me, when you find someone who really cares for you, you'll kick yourself for feeling so destroyed by her.

 

[RevVveD1]

Man viper, that sux dude.. but it sounds as though you have a plan starting to form at least..

 

[fdiskboy]

Viper,

You're better off without a woman like this--I know that's tough to hear, but it's the truth.

Relationships have to be two way streets--partnerships. Any time one party is more committed than the other, you have problems.

Best of luck, man! It looks like you've got plenty of friends here at AT-OT, hopefully that will help take the edge off the hurt.

 

[sharkeeper]

Well, you could look at the bright side of things:

Think of all the money you'll save on long dx phone calls!

Cheers!

 

[BoberFett]

Sorry to hear that Viper.

 

[LadyNiniane]

However, my sister posed a very serious question: Do you want to pursue it further? In the state it's in right now, I do not. I'm tired of riding the roller-coaster, one minute she's debating children's names &amp; the next she's wishing her boy toy would invite her over for another make-out session. If a month from now she decides she's through playing games, then I'd definitely re-consider. But for now I think I'm going to write her back (or maybe call her, but that would make things unnecessarily rough) &amp; pretty much say &quot;OK.&quot; I don't feel like arguing it, I don't feel like making a big deal out of it. In a way it's almost a relief... I didn't have to do it. She did it for me. I'm not to blame, I kept my promise. Now I get to find somebody else. Not that I want anybody else, I want my best friend. But such is life.

Viper...let it go...now...

You've been shown the door; keep on walking out...

With the history you've given us, it's gonna take a lot more than a month for her to get &quot;through playing games&quot;. Not your fault; not really her &quot;fault&quot; if that's all she's ever known. But not a good situation to stick with, unless you have a graduate degree in counseling, and she's willing/ready to listen to your advice.

Unfortunately, there are still way too many females out there (not in this forum as far as I can tell, thank goodness) that think (or were &quot;taught&quot that the only way to get a man is to play him like a fish. And that's what she's been doing. It's sad, but true. Girls may &quot;mature&quot; earlier than guys, but that's just the physical part; the mental maturity may take years, depending upon environment and inclination.

Follow the advice already given (at least the legal ones ); try something new, take a short trip, spend some time with your friends, concentrate on other things for a while. It's gonna hurt (no getting around that), but it's also going to give you a chance to rethink/reaffirm your own priorities and attitudes, and that's necessary for your own soul to survive.

Things change; stuff happens; and life does go on.

This is &quot;Mom&quot; talking; I've got a son almost exactly your age. Trust me on this one; I've been there already.

Lady Niniane

 

[IBhacknU]

I've been there too. LOVE STINKS!

Seriously... it's gonna be tough going for a while, but you'll bounce back. Keep your chin high MAN!

 

[jhu]

i think the big clue was her telling you about her boy-toy...

 

[Stark]

I think this was written just for viper:



<< U2-Beautiful Day

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day

Now download this off napster, load it in winamp, select &quot;repeat,&quot; and play until you feel better.

 

[Missus]

Geez... That is awful... Something like this should be done in person...

I am sorry that she did this to you at all let alone work...

Work sucks as it is without having to deal with this...

If you need to talk, let me know..

 

[Azraele]

Viper: I think you made the right decision. There are few smart enough to walk away when your heart is screaming otherwise. Were you to pursue it, you would get hurt again. Perhaps she's just not ready and not mature enough to commit. Perhaps even she's not sure what she wants, especially if she keeps going back to the other guy. Regardless, you're doing the right thing.

Luck be with you.

 

[nullshark]

Look forward. Don't dwell on what's done and what could have been. Look forward.

 

[DarK SagE]

Viper: I'm very sorry about this

I hope u find someone better.

 

[ratkil]

Sorry to hear that Viper

LadyNiniane is dead on, I don't want to dissparage someone you care about, but she obviously has no clue what she wants, and you talking her into staying will not help her figure it out. I went through this exact situation about a year ago, dragged it out for well over a year, the other person never did figure it out, you have to be the one to walk away. It really sucks and it's really hard. I still think about that person every day, but it's nowhere near as painfull as riding the &quot;coaster&quot;. Btw, that person was 34 so don't think age has any bearing on maturity.

&quot;women who ARE emotionally mature&quot;
Just like you seem to be much more mature in many ways then your age, there are women out there who are the same way, it's just a matter of finding them.

 

[TomCsTulip]

Damn...that hurts!!

I think her tactic was rather lame myself. She should have done that in person when you had time to talk it out.

I have always believed that if you let something go and it comes back then it was meant to be. If you let it go and it doesn't return then there is something out there better for you!

Don't give up......maybe she is just a little afraid, but I would still have to say she is a little wimpy!

 

[d33pt]

hey at least you wont have big phone bills anymore..look on the bright side.