Started dating in '90, married in '97 and had our first rugrat last September. Things are great. 
Originally posted by: RossMAN
I'm curious, how does that change EVERYTHING?
Would married couples with kids please offer your first hand experiences? The good and the bad
I have 2 kids from my first marriage, my son is 15 my daughter is 13. My current marriage, I have a son that will be 1 on Feb 11th.
As far as changing everything, they do. Your priorities shift somewhat (for the better), but this depends on how old the children are.
You are more restricted in some aspects. You have to think about what places you can and can't go to eat, due to not having a "family atmosphere". You want to go see that movie, but know how much you hate it when other people bring thier crumb-crabbers to the theater, so you opt for BlockBuster.
You have to find people you trust to watch your kids, and contrary to popular belief, family cannot be trusted all the time.
My older son is cool to hang with, since he's 15. We can go places and do stuff together (paintball, drag strip, etc) that we both enjoy. With my daughter, it's kind of cool to listen to her babble about all the girly teen-angst stuff and read her poetry. With my youngest son, it's just cool to relive all the baby stuff, all the innocent reactions he has to everyday things. Everything is new in his eyes, and I get to live vicariously through him.
Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Originally posted by: RossMAN
I'm curious, how does that change EVERYTHING?
Would married couples with kids please offer your first hand experiences? The good and the bad
Children add a lot of stress into the relationship.
You are forced to comprimise your time with each other and learn to put the needs of others first always.
The ability to have the easy go lifesytle is gone. Maturity must take over.
also, there is the matter of how to discipline the kids. this is usually the source of a lot of disagreement.
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Unknown
Yep...my other grandparents are still alive, too. Not sure how long they've been married but it's close to that (My mom is the 2nd of 3 girls and she's 60).
Originally posted by: vi_edit
Originally posted by: Fausto
/checks on status of Hell
Yup. Frozen solid.
Yeh, I have to stay in marriage for a year. Restocking fees on returned Russian Mail Order brides are a real bitch.
Russian Mail Order Brides................ they will kill you in your sleep :Q
Cheers,
Aquaman
RossMAN
Grand Nagus
- Feb 24, 2000
- 79,032
- 439
- 136
Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Originally posted by: RossMAN
I'm curious, how does that change EVERYTHING?
Would married couples with kids please offer your first hand experiences? The good and the bad
Children add a lot of stress into the relationship.
You are forced to comprimise your time with each other and learn to put the needs of others first always.
The ability to have the easy go lifesytle is gone. Maturity must take over.
also, there is the matter of how to discipline the kids. this is usually the source of a lot of disagreement.
What are the most popular methods?
Which do you prefer and which does your wife prefer, and why?
Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Originally posted by: RossMAN
I'm curious, how does that change EVERYTHING?
Would married couples with kids please offer your first hand experiences? The good and the bad
Children add a lot of stress into the relationship.
You are forced to comprimise your time with each other and learn to put the needs of others first always.
The ability to have the easy go lifesytle is gone. Maturity must take over.
also, there is the matter of how to discipline the kids. this is usually the source of a lot of disagreement.
You can say that again!! I am the softy...a marshmallow disciplinarian
We've had several disagreements over that issue.
DrPizza
Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
Happily married since Sept 30 of some year... quite a few years ago... 13? 14?
And, now that she's figured out where AT is... I wouldn't dare say otherwise
And, now that she's figured out where AT is... I wouldn't dare say otherwise
Originally posted by: RossMAN
Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Originally posted by: RossMAN
I'm curious, how does that change EVERYTHING?
Would married couples with kids please offer your first hand experiences? The good and the bad
Children add a lot of stress into the relationship.
You are forced to comprimise your time with each other and learn to put the needs of others first always.
The ability to have the easy go lifesytle is gone. Maturity must take over.
also, there is the matter of how to discipline the kids. this is usually the source of a lot of disagreement.
What are the most popular methods?
Which do you prefer and which does your wife prefer, and why?
It's my opinion that you have to be EXTREMELY firm and stern AT a VERY young age. i started physically disciplining my kids from like 7 months of age. now, i never lay a hand on my oldest (7 yrs old) and occasionally spank my youngest (3 yrs of age). i drew the line in the sand at an EXTREMELY young age and now am working on more "adult" forms of communication.
in my opinion, one of the mistakes people make is thinking that one form of discipline is good throughout the life of the child. i believe in using pain when pain is the ONLY form of communication they really understand. i believe in communicating with kids. and i also believe that they have to see at least one parent in the home as the final say. as the line. as the hammer. i accepted that role. my wife didn't like it early on, ironically it was my mother in law that brought my wife along, my mother in law actually finds my way of disciplining to be productive.
Yeah...a toddler isn't going to understand or follow a "no" very much. And, otoh, spanking a teenager won't accomplish much (if you could even do it!)
My ex would always get into a conversation with the kids when disciplining them. Hence, they could always push her more. She tried to be more of a friend than a parent and still does. While, I, however, would be firm on the limits that had been set and would tell them like it is. No conversations allowed. No, "But, dad...."
- Oct 30, 2000
- 42,589
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- 0
We worked out an easy method - some of it was inherited from my parents - wife never had her parents raise her.
Foul language was not tolerated. Warning first time, liquid soap after that(impossible to wash out liquid soap vs. bar soap) :evil:
Misbehaivor - I have a thick leather belt from my time in Boy Scouts (Philmont Scout Ranch). That thing makes a nasty sound when doubled up and swung.
Most times it would hit the furniture next to the child for small issues.
Large issues that were serious caused an over the knee using the belt (cruel but needed).
Only on one child did that happen more than once.
Finally wore it out (not on the kids) after 20 years and ordered a new one. Grandkids have been advised of the belt by word of mouth.
Out in public, rude behaivor was not tolerated. A look and an offer to go to the restroom with dad was enough to straighten up.
Smoking - that cigarette better taste good, you will eat it if I catch you. :disgust:
Gum - on the nose for the rest of the day if I see, hear or find it.
Cutting class - never done.
Playing sick to get out of school - in the house for two days to get well - school work needed to be done or I made up some study work for them
Ducking chores - answer to their mother - it was her house - she had a stick broom that stung .
Spike
Diamond Member
- Aug 27, 2001
- 6,770
- 1
- 81
Happly married here to my beautiful (hottie) wife Jennifer. As this is both of our first real relationships, we don't know what it's like with others so we don't know what we are missing. I figure that alone gives us better odds of success Well, that and being Christians.
Well, that and being Christians.
waggy
No Lifer
- Dec 14, 2000
- 68,143
- 10
- 81
Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
We worked out an easy method - some of it was inherited from my parents - wife never had her parents raise her.
Foul language was not tolerated. Warning first time, liquid soap after that(impossible to wash out liquid soap vs. bar soap) :evil:
Misbehaivor - I have a thick leather belt from my time in Boy Scouts (Philmont Scout Ranch). That thing makes a nasty sound when doubled up and swung.
Most times it would hit the furniture next to the child for small issues.
Large issues that were serious caused an over the knee using the belt (cruel but needed).
Only on one child did that happen more than once.
Finally wore it out (not on the kids) after 20 years and ordered a new one. Grandkids have been advised of the belt by word of mouth.
Out in public, rude behaivor was not tolerated. A look and an offer to go to the restroom with dad was enough to straighten up.
Smoking - that cigarette better taste good, you will eat it if I catch you. :disgust:
Gum - on the nose for the rest of the day if I see, hear or find it.
Cutting class - never done.
Playing sick to get out of school - in the house for two days to get well - school work needed to be done or I made up some study work for them
Ducking chores - answer to their mother - it was her house - she had a stick broom that stung .
some good ideas. the same rules i had to live by growing up.
so far my daughter 18 months has been great. All I have to do is yell NO and she stops whatever she is doing. she also dont start it agian.
Squisher
Lifer
- Aug 17, 2000
- 21,204
- 66
- 91
It'll be 20 years this March 14th.
Last night I guess a bunch of my wife's employees were bugging her that I didn't come to their Party.
After a bunch of bugging the wife asks, "why do you guys want to meet him so bad?"
They said they had never met a saint.
I've been laughing all day.
Last night I guess a bunch of my wife's employees were bugging her that I didn't come to their Party.
After a bunch of bugging the wife asks, "why do you guys want to meet him so bad?"
They said they had never met a saint.
I've been laughing all day.
Originally posted by: ITJunkie
First wife...married for 15 yrs this June. We've been through tough times together and we are happier than ever
FWIW...I still think she's hot too
I think so too (jk)
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