Czar, astute observation! But slightly flawed..... A reaction is not the same as an action, whether overt, or covert. The end result is VERY similar however. Your views (if victorious) are imposed on the said aggressor. So in that respect, you are correct.
The problem arises when you allow others to impose their views upon you contrary to your health, happiness, future survival, or livelyhood. This is generally considered bad.
Once spoken diplomacy fails, actions follow. Sanctions, blockades, and other such tactics should be used until they fail. The ultimate in economic tools (War) should only be used as an absolute last ditch effort to convince the opposition that you mean business. Many leaders (no names here) use war as an excuse for retaliation and retribution, which is a poor use of the Ace up your sleeve. Save it until you REALLY need it, then commit, and continue until the other side gives an unconditional surrender. What's the use in stopping, while they have the resolve to continue?
Good texts are: Sun Tzu, " Art of War" , Niccolo Machiavelli, "The Prince".
These are well respected, classic works on war, and politics (to include war) respectively.